Investigation

[MunchkinWrangler]

If a child does not let me lead them by the hand, so far my 3 yo just goes, except for my ds, I pick them up. I was told this is better because dislocations can happen especially if a child yanks or pulls away from you.

I don't understand ever saying 'please' to a child that is getting a consequence. There is no asking, etc when it comes to that.

I understand the center environment is different but if it was my home, the child would be sent home after not listening to me repeatedly.

Sorry you're going through this. Unfortunately, it's up to the center and licensing. Unless, there are marks on the child, I don't see you getting in trouble for this but we always have to be ever so careful when we need to dole out a consequence with other people's children.

[Ariana]

If a child does not let me lead them by the hand, so far my 3 yo just goes, except for my ds, I pick them up. I was told this is better because dislocations can happen especially if a child yanks or pulls away from you.

I don't understand ever saying 'please' to a child that is getting a consequence. There is no asking, etc when it comes to that.

I understand the center environment is different but if it was my home, the child would be sent home after not listening to me repeatedly.

Sorry you're going through this. Unfortunately, it's up to the center and licensing. Unless, there are marks on the child, I don't see you getting in trouble for this but we always have to be ever so careful when we need to dole out a consequence with other people's children.

At a centre you are absolutely not allowed to pick a child up and physical contact is not encouraged. I could lead a child but we had this special trick where we held the child by the arm not the hand so that if they went limp or tried to flee we wouldn't accidentally break their wrist. I also let go immediately if a child pulled. There is just too much at stake if a child gets hurt that it is not worth it. I could not physically make a child do anything and this is why I learned how to be extremely firm when speaking to children so that they know I mean business. You have to ask yourself if this child is worth losing a job over or worse and most of the time the answer is no! If the director was not interested in the havoc this child was causing I would have found another job but I can say for sure there is at least one in every group!

[MunchkinWrangler]

At a centre you are absolutely not allowed to pick a child up and physical contact is not encouraged. I could lead a child but we had this special trick where we held the child by the arm not the hand so that if they went limp or tried to flee we wouldn't accidentally break their wrist. I also let go immediately if a child pulled. There is just too much at stake if a child gets hurt that it is not worth it. I could not physically make a child do anything and this is why I learned how to be extremely firm when speaking to children so that they know I mean business. You have to ask yourself if this child is worth losing a job over or worse and most of the time the answer is no! If the director was not interested in the havoc this child was causing I would have found another job but I can say for sure there is at least one in every group!

Ok, that sounds about right that you can't do that in a center. Licensing told me it is always better to pick a child up instead of leading them because of dislocations and injuries and the risk of them hitting their head because they yank and you let go is also a concern.

[MunchkinWrangler]

I personally believe that if it comes to getting 'physical' with a child to get them to listen, not meaning any sort of corporal punishment but just the fact of needing to get them to timeout(because by the time they're old enough for time out I shouldn't have to make them go or stay), then the parents and I need to have a talk about how to continue care.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

At a centre you are absolutely not allowed to pick a child up and physical contact is not encouraged. I could lead a child but we had this special trick where we held the child by the arm not the hand so that if they went limp or tried to flee we wouldn't accidentally break their wrist. I also let go immediately if a child pulled. There is just too much at stake if a child gets hurt that it is not worth it. I could not physically make a child do anything and this is why I learned how to be extremely firm when speaking to children so that they know I mean business. You have to ask yourself if this child is worth losing a job over or worse and most of the time the answer is no! If the director was not interested in the havoc this child was causing I would have found another job but I can say for sure there is at least one in every group!

Man, I am so glad I don't work at a daycare center. No wonder people call them kid prisons. Limited or no physical contact, no recourse for bad behavior, claims of abuse if you so much as touch a child? I would say you should get out and be done there. You can wait for the investigation, but who would want to work in a place where you are being investigated because you didnt ask a child nicely to sit in timeout

[Unregistered]

Original Poster, do you happen to live in Texas ? It sounds a lot like a center where I used to work !
At all the centers I have worked, we were told we can touch children
within reason. Hand on shoulder, hugs, high five hand holding were all allowed. I can't see teaching a room of 2, 3, or 4 year olds without having contact. What if there were an emergency and the child didn't want to move ? A teacher would need to carry the child to safety. I miss some of the hugs and smiles from my students. As a nanny, I'm really careful about physical contact, but I still do some of the above.
Your center should be on your side 100 percent. There are all different things parents want to cry foul about, management needs to keep it in check.

[Unregistered]

Original Poster, do you happen to live in Texas ? It sounds a lot like a center where I used to work !
At all the centers I have worked, we were told we can touch children
within reason. Hand on shoulder, hugs, high five hand holding were all allowed. I can't see teaching a room of 2, 3, or 4 year olds without having contact. What if there were an emergency and the child didn't want to move ? A teacher would need to carry the child to safety. I miss some of the hugs and smiles from my students. As a nanny, I'm really careful about physical contact, but I still do some of the above.
Your center should be on your side 100 percent. There are all different things parents want to cry foul about, management needs to keep it in check.

I'm not in texas, and I agree that the center should be supportive. However the center management staff is more interested in keeping full time students than keeping teachers.

[Blackcat31]

Ok, that sounds about right that you can't do that in a center. Licensing told me it is always better to pick a child up instead of leading them because of dislocations and injuries and the risk of them hitting their head because they yank and you let go is also a concern.

In this particular situation I'm going to say your licensor is wrong.

I would never ever ever ever physically pick up a child that was capable of walking to timeout on their own.

I'm sure the comment about dislocations is if you were pulling on a child or dragging them due to their unwillingness to go to timeout but in that case I would tell them three times and should they choose not to listen or comply I would call the parent for immediate pick up but I would never pick them up or physically engage in a power struggle with them.

That type of thing is a huge liability risk ... I am actually a little surprised that your licenseor is telling/saying that.

[Ariana]

By physical contact I didn't mean hugs, hand/arm holding to lead or holding a hand down if the child is about to hit or holding and picking up if physical safety is in jeopardy. I just meant that I cannot pick a child up and place them in a chair type of thing or grab an arm and lead a child kicking and screaming (which would end up bruising a child if you didn't let go).

I know people think that this is not right but I do agree with those policies and it does force you to become a better problem solver when it comes to behavior management. I don't physically pick my own kids up either and get really mad at my husband when he does it To me it is a consent issue and you are teaching a child that just because they are smaller they don't get a say about who touches them or forces them to do something....if that makes sense. My challenge as a provider is getting a child to do something by choice. Not easy but doable.

I am also surprised that the licensor said picking up a child was better.

[Blackcat31]

By physical contact I didn't mean hugs, hand/arm holding to lead or holding a hand down if the child is about to hit or holding and picking up if physical safety is in jeopardy. I just meant that I cannot pick a child up and place them in a chair type of thing or grab an arm and lead a child kicking and screaming (which would end up bruising a child if you didn't let go).

I know people think that this is not right but I do agree with those policies and it does force you to become a better problem solver when it comes to behavior management. I don't physically pick my own kids up either and get really mad at my husband when he does it To me it is a consent issue and you are teaching a child that just because they are smaller they don't get a say about who touches them or forces them to do something....if that makes sense. My challenge as a provider is getting a child to do something by choice. Not easy but doable.

I am also surprised that the licensor said picking up a child was better.

nicely worded...

[MunchkinWrangler]

In this particular situation I'm going to say your licensor is wrong.

I would never ever ever ever physically pick up a child that was capable of walking to timeout on their own.

I'm sure the comment about dislocations is if you were pulling on a child or dragging them due to their unwillingness to go to timeout but in that case I would tell them three times and should they choose not to listen or comply I would call the parent for immediate pick up but I would never pick them up or physically engage in a power struggle with them.

That type of thing is a huge liability risk ... I am actually a little surprised that your licenseor is telling/saying that.

Like I said, it if was a situation where I felt I had to do that, I'd talk to the parents about a solution. I was told it was a way of showing the child where to go and that they had to stay until they are allowed back to play. Except for my own ds at times, all I normally have to say is go sit and they rush to the "timeout" spot, or I say go take a break.

I would never fight with a child to do it but I don't know, I was told it's better than trying to take a child by the arm as usually that's where a power struggle ensues. Also, if they're old enough for a timeout, they're old enough to go by themselves.

I don't think it's overpowering them, they're children and I'm the adult in charge. It's pretty much understood that I'm the boss. They are used to my authority so to speak. My children are young so it's just common place for me to be picking up children all day long. I have toddlers to redirect as well.