Former DCM Won't Give Address

[sleepinghart]

I termed a dcf last week. Dcm has moved and won't give me her address for her refund (about $150). It's a recent move. She's hurt I termed, but I had good reason.

She asked me to give the money to her friend, who has a dcb who also attends here, but I told her I wasn't comfortable with that. Now silence for a few days...what to do?

(^^bolded^^ by me)
~Wait it out, and keep the money till she claims it- I don't see where you have much choice. My guess is she will really need that $150 for something soon(wealthy or not), and she will then reluctantly contact you to give you her new address or she will ask to come by your place for it or for you to meet her somewhere with it. If that doesn't happen within a few weeks, come back here. Good luck & let us know what happens and how it goes!lovethislovethis

[sleepinghart]

I would mail the check to her old address. If she forwarded her mail, she'll get it, cash it, and you'll have a cancelled check to prove you returned it.

If she didn't forward her mail, you'll get it back. Leave it in the envelope marked "return to sender", unopened, and put it in your files. After 6 months, the check will be stale dated and you can safely assume she's not wanting her refund.

~I really, really lovelovethis this idea also!

[Thriftylady]

(^^bolded^^ by me)
~Wait it out, and keep the money till she claims it- I don't see where you have much choice. My guess is she will really need that $150 for something soon(wealthy or not), and she will then reluctantly contact you to give you her new address or she will ask to come by your place for it or for you to meet her somewhere with it. If that doesn't happen within a few weeks, come back here. Good luck & let us know what happens and how it goes!lovethislovethis

I just don't see why the OP should have to wait months or years and then offer a refund. If the parent wants it, they should make accommodations to get it in a reasonable amount of time. I think 30-60 days is more than reasonable.

[Alwaysgreener]

I would mail the check to her old address. If she forwarded her mail, she'll get it, cash it, and you'll have a cancelled check to prove you returned it.

If she didn't forward her mail, you'll get it back. Leave it in the envelope marked "return to sender", unopened, and put it in your files. After 6 months, the check will be stale dated and you can safely assume she's not wanting her refund.

This is excatly what I was going suggest. I think it is the best option. I

Even if you were to put that notation on the check, the bank doesn't have to honor it. The only way to be sure the check won't be cashed eventually is to put a stop payment on it.

I would call my bank and ask. My CU would not cash a check for my auto loan, written off my checking account from that CU, because I wrote the previous year date. (this happened a few years, at the beginning of the year.)
So I would check to see what they say.

I just don't see why the OP should have to wait months or years and then offer a refund. If the parent wants it, they should make accommodations to get it in a reasonable amount of time. I think 30-60 days is more than reasonable.

I agree

[sleepinghart]

I just don't see why the OP should have to wait months or years and then offer a refund. If the parent wants it, they should make accommodations to get it in a reasonable amount of time. I think 30-60 days is more than reasonable.

(^^bolding^^ by me)
~I totally agree with what you're saying here. I agree that if the parent wants it they should make arrangements and get it within a reasonable amount of time, but unfortunately it does not seem to be working out that way for the OP. I certainly don't think it's fair if she has to hold on to the money for a very long time either, but in the meantime, the money doesn't belong to OP and I don't think it is doing much harm by sitting in a bank account or in some sock drawer.

(Thriftylady quote)"I just don't see why the OP should have to wait months or years and then offer a refund"(end quote)

~I don't either; I mean it's not fair. However, I don't know the law, or even if there is one, on how long the client is entitled to ask for her money back...This is why I suggested she hang on to it as long as possible, or at least until she finds out. I don't think it's likely to happen, but what if this woman comes back say 3-6 months from now, wants her refund, doesn't get it, so then she files in small claims court against OP? Again, I don't think that's likely to happen but I can't be positive. If OP can research and find out the laws with regard to how long she has to hold onto this money that would be great...that's what I'd do and I'd hold on to that money until I found out it was okay not to just to be on the safe side.

[Unregistered]

OP here, this woman is not the type to sue. She's just hurt I termed and imo, wants to be done.

I highly doubt she wants her money back - when I said they are wealthy, I meant it, but I want to be done with it.

The situation is that dcb, age young 3, had an incident over here. A scrape. Boys play hard here. He tripped. She spent 10 minutes telling me she was afraid to tell her husband, I Didn't know his temper, over and over again. It sounded like a donestic abuse situation honestly, but I don't have enough to report.

I told her that dcb couldn't come back. I can't have a crazy man calling cps on me for normal things that happen to boys. I'm sorry he tripped, but...I'm not going to live my life keeping this boy in a bubble, either.

So yeah, I want to be done with this asap.

[sleepinghart]

OP here, this woman is not the type to sue. She's just hurt I termed and imo, wants to be done.

I highly doubt she wants her money back - when I said they are wealthy, I meant it, but I want to be done with it.

The situation is that dcb, age young 3, had an incident over here. A scrape. Boys play hard here. He tripped. She spent 10 minutes telling me she was afraid to tell her husband, I Didn't know his temper, over and over again. It sounded like a donestic abuse situation honestly, but I don't have enough to report.

I told her that dcb couldn't come back. I can't have a crazy man calling cps on me for normal things that happen to boys. I'm sorry he tripped, but...I'm not going to live my life keeping this boy in a bubble, either.

So yeah, I want to be done with this asap.

~Wow that is really sad. In that case I would take Heidi's advice and mail the refund check to her old address. More than likely she will receive it, and if she receives it she will likely cash/deposit it; and if not, like PPs said, you'll get the check back if the mail doesn't forward .