Sour Grapes?

[Play Care]

Today I put out my June newsletter in which I announced two of my guys would be graduating from my care. Now, this is a convo I've had with their parents before (teachers) They had told me they had planned on changing their schedules and being home to ge the boys off the bus, they were happy to save money on day care, etc.

When Dad picks up he says to me, "it really hurt finding out the boys were done in the newsletter. " I was shocked. I feel badly, because I was sure we had been on the same page.

Of course the cynic in me is just wondering if they're really upset that I made the first move

[Blackcat31]

Today I put out my June newsletter in which I announced two of my guys would be graduating from my care. Now, this is a convo I've had with their parents before (teachers) They had told me they had planned on changing their schedules and being home to ge the boys off the bus, they were happy to save money on day care, etc.

When Dad picks up he says to me, "it really hurt finding out the boys were done in the newsletter. " I was shocked. I feel badly, because I was sure we had been on the same page.

Of course the cynic in me is just wondering if they're really upset that I made the first move

I am willing to bet my internet that the above (bolded) is the REAL reason DCD was snarky....

[Play Care]

I am willing to bet my internet that the above (bolded) is the REAL reason DCD was snarky....

Yeah, me too. Because I know we've had convo's about how excited they were to be getting done with day care expenses

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Oh brother. Don't feel poorly for one minute. You didn't pull their end date out of thin air, girl. Just smile and say, "Oh, you must have forgotten to tell me about your change in plans!" I'm sure he will backpedal and say that their plans haven't changed at all.

[sleepinghart]

Yeah, me too. Because I know we've had convo's about how excited they were to be getting done with day care expenses

~In these conversations, were the words "June XX will be the last day the boys will be in care here"(or something similar of course) said by either party...you or them, or was it just general statements like being glad daycare expenses were ending, etc.?:confused:

~What did you end up saying to DCD when he said that by the way? ...Or do you think dcm just wasn't telling dcd what was going on so he wasn't "in the loop" of things:confused:?

[Play Care]

~In these conversations, were the words "June XX will be the last day the boys will be in care here"(or something similar of course) said by either party...you or them, or was it just general statements like being glad daycare expenses were ending, etc.?:confused:

~What did you end up saying to DCD when he said that by the way? ...Or do you think dcm just wasn't telling dcd what was going on so he wasn't "in the loop" of things:confused:?

My written day care policy is that I only take SA kids if the have a younger FT sibling anchoring them in care. This family (teachers) has always pulled at the end of June and re-enrolled in September (I prefer school schedule so I allow this) But since they would both be in school next year, they obviously can't re-enroll. So from that stand point, this was all in black and white and signed off on. Because they were aware of the policy, it led to convos (we are friendly and neighbors) about looking forward to DC ending, being done with expenses, etc.

So although they didn't give me a formal end date, I went by what they've done the last four years, which is to pull at the end of the school year. I figured by mentioning something in the newsletter the kids would have time to process and say good bye. Because I knew that, even if I didn't have a specific policy, this is not a family that pays for/uses day care if they don't have to.
I think it would be splitting hairs to say "well technically they didn't give you and end date" since A. I do have a written policy about SA kids in care and B. I went by what they've always done.

The more I think about it the more I do think their annoyance stems more from me being the one to "strike first" than anything else. Knowing this family and knowing how they've used daycare I can't for the life of me believe for one moment they were planning on sending the boys if they don't have to.

[Mandy]

Dont feel badly at all. These kids are "graduating" and to me the dad should have been thankful that you were sharing the excitement with them happyface. Communication is key though and you have done your part . Just remember that although it might be hard, you cannot feel responsible for dcd's reaction. He chose the words, and he chose to react the way he did

[sleepinghart]

My written day care policy is that I only take SA kids if the have a younger FT sibling anchoring them in care. This family (teachers) has always pulled at the end of June and re-enrolled in September (I prefer school schedule so I allow this) But since they would both be in school next year, they obviously can't re-enroll. So from that stand point, this was all in black and white and signed off on. Because they were aware of the policy, it led to convos (we are friendly and neighbors) about looking forward to DC ending, being done with expenses, etc.

So although they didn't give me a formal end date, I went by what they've done the last four years, which is to pull at the end of the school year. I figured by mentioning something in the newsletter the kids would have time to process and say good bye. Because I knew that, even if I didn't have a specific policy, this is not a family that pays for/uses day care if they don't have to.
I think it would be splitting hairs to say "well technically they didn't give you and end date" since A. I do have a written policy about SA kids in care and B. I went by what they've always done.

The more I think about it the more I do think their annoyance stems more from me being the one to "strike first" than anything else. Knowing this family and knowing how they've used daycare I can't for the life of me believe for one moment they were planning on sending the boys if they don't have to.

~So they don't attend during the summer at all, okay.

(play Care quote)"I think it would be splitting hairs to say "well technically they didn't give you and end date"(end quote)

~Well actually I meant either one of you, and you did give one by your policies being in place, and even then you gave a heads-up, mentioned it again, by putting it in your newsletter yesterday. I think it's splitting hairs also, but I find with a lot of dcps this is what it comes down to, splitting hairs- Whether they sign off on policies they don't read, agree to policies only to later try to change them, change their habits on a whim, or are just poor communicators, etc....Which none of that is your problem, as it falls on them to be responsible adults- I'm just saying this might be where the problem lies with them and why they are acting the way they are. I also agree there's a strong possibility that they are just upset that you "signed-off" first. If you feel badly about it, I'd just ask and say "I'm sorry, I thought we were on the same page", and then maybe ask what their understanding was.

(Play Care quote)"Knowing this family and knowing how they've used daycare I can't for the life of me believe for one moment they were planning on sending the boys if they don't have to"(end quote)

~Do you mean during the summer? ..And I don't think so either. Do you think that they were maybe counting on you to bend your rules for them regarding after-school care...like do you think maybe they thought they could talk you into it come August/September?

[Play Care]

~So they don't attend during the summer at all, okay.

(play Care quote)"I think it would be splitting hairs to say "well technically they didn't give you and end date"(end quote)

~Well actually I meant either one of you, and you did give one by your policies being in place, and even then you gave a heads-up, mentioned it again, by putting it in your newsletter yesterday. I think it's splitting hairs also, but I find with a lot of dcps this is what it comes down to, splitting hairs- Whether they sign off on policies they don't read, agree to policies only to later try to change them, change their habits on a whim, or are just poor communicators, etc....Which none of that is your problem, as it falls on them to be responsible adults- I'm just saying this might be where the problem lies with them and why they are acting the way they are. I also agree there's a strong possibility that they are just upset that you "signed-off" first. If you feel badly about it, I'd just ask and say "I'm sorry, I thought we were on the same page", and then maybe ask what their understanding was.

(Play Care quote)"Knowing this family and knowing how they've used daycare I can't for the life of me believe for one moment they were planning on sending the boys if they don't have to"(end quote)

~Do you mean during the summer? ..And I don't think so either. Do you think that they were maybe counting on you to bend your rules for them regarding after-school care...like do you think maybe they thought they could talk you into it come August/September?

No, I meant come the school year. I know for sure it wouldn't have been summer. I think they thought I might take the boys on occasion - and honestly, I probably would have here and there. But for them to act surprised that the FT care agreement was ending is odd.
I will say we did talk afterwards and cleared the air, so it all good. It was just so, so weird.