Have Any of You Created an IFSP or Been Involved with One at All?

[snbauser]

I may be the odd one out here but if a child is not able to participate in our day for any reason, they are sent home. That would include sleeping all day. Plus you are setting up a horrible sleep cycle if you are letting her sleep all day on a regular basis. Think about if you slept all day. With the exception of when you are sick, if you sleep all day on a regular basis you would have a hard time going to sleep at night. You are also making the parents problem your problem. They don't need to worry about how much sleep she gets at home because you will let her sleep there.

[permanentvacation]

I keep her awake as much as I can. She will literally fall asleep while standing up. She will fall asleep in the middle of an activity. I talked about that above when I said that she is in the middle of doing something, playing or educationally, and will lay down or just the next thing you know, she's asleep on the table.

[Silly Songs]

Tonight I talked with 2 different people who are very bluntly honest. One is an African American man and the other is a white mother of mixed children. They both, without knowing what the other said, told me that black families, at least in our area - the Baltimore area, often call each other and the children that term to desensitize them. If children get used to being called that term when they are young, it simply becomes another word, another way of describing themselves and when they hear it on the street out in the world, they don't overreact to it. The lady I spoke to said that getting the girls used to the term keeps the girls from getting their feelings hurt if and 'you know someone will' call them that or they'll at least hear someone being called it on the streets or in school. And it keeps the boys from getting in fight or shooting someone over being called a word that they aren't used to being called.

Both of them told me not to worry about her calling herself that term in the mirror. The man actually chuckled at me as if saying, "You silly clueless white woman, YES! This is normal for black households in our area!" The white woman who has mixed kids told me that if she calls herself that term again when looking in a mirror, that I could just simply say, "That's you! Your name is so-and-so" and basically ignore that she said that term. She said, "Or, just don't do the mirror part of the test again for a while!" and she chuckled.

So, I won't stress any more over her calling herself that term.

That's absurd ! So maybe we should all call our children names they might later be called by ignorant people. Sorry, that's wrong on so many levels. My opinion.

[permanentvacation]

After those two told me what they did, I started thinking of the way people are in the stores here, the way the kids were that my kids knew in the area while growing up. And those two people are right. Every family I know except the ones with a higher education and better income, cuss at their children, smack their children upside their heads, call them the n word, etc. You really can not go to a store in the area without hearing a parent - whether it's a mother or a father, saying something like, "Boy, getchur a$$ over here" or "Shut da He** up" or people from ages 8 years old and up saying something about having already or wanting to beat the sh*t out of someone or about someone that got jumped. And the 'n' word is always being used between friends and family members. And, in a different tone when a fight is about to happen.

It might also simply be that the majority of the people in this area speak 'hood rat language'. This is a very uneducated, low income, low class area. I'm sure that has a lot to do with the way parents speak to their children. They just might not know any better. Most likely their parents spoke to them that way and that's the only way they know to speak to their children. They don't mean to be abusive and they don't believe that they are being demeaning, degrading, or abusive. It's 'just the way they talk'.

I just know that I really don't fit in around here! I really do need to work on moving out of this area one day.

[permanentvacation]

Silly Songs,
You are so right! However, around here, parents call their children almost every name in the book and tell them how much of a pain in their a$$ they are when they get on their nerves at the store/restaurant. I really don't think they know that it is emotionally and mentally abusive. I don't think they know any better or that it's harmful to their children. I just think it's so common in this area that no one even thinks it's wrong or that they should speak in a different manner.

[Thriftylady]

Silly Songs,
You are so right! However, around here, parents call their children almost every name in the book and tell them how much of a pain in their a$$ they are when they get on their nerves at the store/restaurant. I really don't think they know that it is emotionally and mentally abusive. I don't think they know any better or that it's harmful to their children. I just think it's so common in this area that no one even thinks it's wrong or that they should speak in a different manner.

It doesn't matter if what the parents think it is, abuse is abuse. I am very worried about this child based on what you have posted, and I think you should call CPS and tell them everything you have told us. Let them decide if it is something they should check out or not. It isn't our job to decide if a child is being abused. It is our job to report it when we suspect it. This child needs some kind of help. It isn't up to us to diagnose and fix everything.

[Unregistered]

This is some of the craziest stuff I have ever heard! It doesn't matter where you live, abuse and disrespect is abuse and disrespect! Just because a "black person" or a "white person" has told you what is acceptable to THEM doesn't make it right. EVERYTHING you have posted has made me so concerned reading through this...

[Alwaysgreener]

It doesn't matter if what the parents think it is, abuse is abuse. I am very worried about this child based on what you have posted, and I think you should call CPS and tell them everything you have told us. Let them decide if it is something they should check out or not. It isn't our job to decide if a child is being abused. It is our job to report it when we suspect it. This child needs some kind of help. It isn't up to us to diagnose and fix everything.

This is a clear case of NEGLECT, not caring if child gets basic need meet is Neglect. There is possible physical, emotional and sexual abuse going on. If Dcg slept better while Dcd was gone is a sign that she was able to relax and sleep.

I agree with thrifty lady, report this! Reading though this post reminded me of my past foster kids and there stories.

[Mike]

I have to agree also. Let the professionals, CPS, decide if there is a problem. And I'm still worried about the part where dad's gone, child is fine, dad returns, trouble. Child abuse is more common in some nationalities, and actually considered to be normal living in some. It's still child abuse. I hope child abuse isn't the problem, but the pros need to look at the case.

[permanentvacation]

I spoke with people from CPS. Here, in my state, name calling is not child abuse and the fact that a child can't get enough sleep at night is not child abuse. Nothing that I have witnessed would prompt them to do anything.

[Thriftylady]

I spoke with people from CPS. Here, in my state, name calling is not child abuse and the fact that a child can't get enough sleep at night is not child abuse. Nothing that I have witnessed would prompt them to do anything.

Not sleeping at night could be a symptom of child abuse. And name calling of a child, and not allowing them to sleep is child abuse. It is also considered domestic violence if done to an adult. Just call, report what you know, tell them you are worried about the child, and let them deal with it from there.

[permanentvacation]

I did call. That's what I just said. They told me that the things I told them are not considered child abuse. Here in my state, there is no such a thing as verbal abuse. You can yell at, cuss at, and call a kid any name you want and it's not considered abuse. And CPS can not dictate to parents what time they have to put their child to bed or how many hours of sleep they must make sure their child gets at night. So the things that I have witnessed are nothing for CPS to get involved with.

[Mike]

I spoke with people from CPS. Here, in my state, name calling is not child abuse and the fact that a child can't get enough sleep at night is not child abuse. Nothing that I have witnessed would prompt them to do anything.

CPS does need a certain level of data before they can investigate, and different states do have different levels of requirements. Sometimes we have to accept the fact that abuse isn't classified the same everywhere, just like slavery. It's still in existence legally in many places.

I guess just do the best you can for the child and keep your eyes open for signs of things being worse.

[Mom2Two]

I used to work for the state and wrote IFSP's. However, this is just not something you should be doing for a daycare child. You need to be trained first of all, second this is something you do with a team (medical, therapists, social workers, etc) of people that are involved with the child's early intervention.

If this family has not been taking you seriously then an IFSP is just a piece of paper and won't mean a thing. I think you are confused about what IFSP's are used for, it won't help you with your problem with this family. It is for documenting therapy services the child will receive and how often, outcomes, time lines, etc...

THANK YOU for addressing this and to spedmommy too. An IFSP is the <3 yo version of an IEP. DD had one from her early intervention folk.

Sounds like OP is taking too much responsibility for this and needs to get this family working with professionals or simply reinforcing her business policies.

[Mom2Two]

I may be the odd one out here but if a child is not able to participate in our day for any reason, they are sent home. That would include sleeping all day. Plus you are setting up a horrible sleep cycle if you are letting her sleep all day on a regular basis. Think about if you slept all day. With the exception of when you are sick, if you sleep all day on a regular basis you would have a hard time going to sleep at night. You are also making the parents problem your problem. They don't need to worry about how much sleep she gets at home because you will let her sleep there.

Yes