Where are the Nap Whisperers

[childcaremom]

I have a 14 mos that just started. Dcm had told me a few weeks ago that she was starting to fight the morning nap so I told her that I would be doing just one with her here when she starts.

Day 1: Cried for 25 mins before falling asleep. Slept for 2 hours. Woke up crying. (this is a loud and demanding cry. Not a whimper.)

Day 2: Cried for 5 mins before falling asleep. Slept for 45 mins and woke up crying. I went in to lay her back down and tell her 'lie down please' which she eventually did remain lying down but did not go back to sleep. She cried for 30 mins but eventually stopped and lay resting quietly.

I know it's only been 2 days but I am wondering if I should keep going in to lie her down (she stands at cries at the edge of the playpen) or not? Leave her?

When I asked dcm she told me that they are still doing 2 naps at home. She only sleeps for about an hour for each one. And wakes up crying.

Again, I know it's only been 2 days. I have had some terrible nappers come through here and just want to get it right because the parents are awesome and the little one is a doll.

[Heidi]

I would keep on the track your on. A little crying isn't so bad. If you're allowed in your state, are you willing to give her a book or stuffed animal, or both? I always tucked the stuffed animal in to, and then said "when you wake up, you can look at the book". Some did, some didn't.

As long as going in doesn't make her MORE upset, I'd do that for a couple weeks, then wean her off of it. Try to keep the "getting up" routine the same. Sing a little song, open the curtains, get her out. That way, she can distinguish a visit from a "get me up". I usually started singing loudly as I got close to the room so they could hear me coming.

[Ariana]

The problem is over tiredness. She is not napping enough at home or at your house. Waking up crying is a classic symptom of over tiredness and she is "fighting" her nap at home because she is tired and is fussy at your house because she is tired. The parents are going in at the one hour mark because she is crying but it is because she doesn't know how to transition into the next sleep cycle so they just get her up.

I would keep with two naps. The first one can be short but when she wakes crying don't go in to get her right away. Leave her at least 15-30 minutes. The second one should be at least 2 hours and she needs to stay in her bed for those 2 hours. It seems like going in and encouraging her to lie back down is working so keep doing that but prolong the time that you go in. So go in after 5 minutes the first time, then wait 10 minutes before going in, then 15min etc. Eventually she will wake and put herself back to sleep without crying and then stop waking altogether.

It is very important that she understands that waking up crying does not mean nap is over. Her parents are unfortunately reinforcing that for her so you will need to break it. I had a child exactly like this. The parents were getting him up when he started crying so when he came to me I did this and he eventually started sleeping well.

[Ariana]

^^ I did the above for my own kids too! You will know a child is well rested when they wake up smiling

[Heidi]

^^ I did the above for my own kids too! You will know a child is well rested when they wake up smiling

[childcaremom]

Thanks ladies.

She came in exhausted so I lay her right down. I let her sleep for an hour (meant to only do 30 mins, whoops) and then we carried on with normal schedule. She lay down at regular afternoon time and went right to sleep.

Fingers crossed she has a great nap this afternoon but I plan to approach an early wake up the same way as I have been doing.

Same plan for tomorrow and hopefully can wean her off the morning nap over the next few weeks.

Thanks!

[childcaremom]

Well the week has been back and forth.

I think the issue is all her props! She has a blanket, a doll, and 2 soothers. One for her mouth and one to hold. She has started throwing them out of the crib. I refuse to get them back for her.

I am still doing the "time to lay down" thing but am ignoring the soother game.

Help!

Is there a polite way to tell the parents to ditch the props? And would you start next week fresh with no props?

[Controlled Chaos]

Well the week has been back and forth.

I think the issue is all her props! She has a blanket, a doll, and 2 soothers. One for her mouth and one to hold. She has started throwing them out of the crib. I refuse to get them back for her.

I am still doing the "time to lay down" thing but am ignoring the soother game.

Help!

Is there a polite way to tell the parents to ditch the props? And would you start next week fresh with no props?

I would encourage you to ditch all props at your house. You can't control the parents. I have many kids that were able to successfully nap prop free at my house (after a week or so of training) and still used props at home. They learn to adapt to different rules at different places.

[childcaremom]

I would encourage you to ditch all props at your house. You can't control the parents. I have many kids that were able to successfully nap prop free at my house (after a week or so of training) and still used props at home. They learn to adapt to different rules at different places.

Thanks. I am going to start fresh on Monday.

[Ariana]

My current parents came with a giant list of things to do before childs nap and a bag full of props. I smiled and nodded, threw out the props and never ever once used them. This is my house and I do things my way . I sleep trained the child in 3 days with no props. She sleeps like a dream at my home.

[childcaremom]

My current parents came with a giant list of things to do before childs nap and a bag full of props. I smiled and nodded, threw out the props and never ever once used them. This is my house and I do things my way . I sleep trained the child in 3 days with no props. She sleeps like a dream at my home.

You're hired!

That is reassuring, though. I am starting tomorrow fresh with nothing in the crib. Fingers crossed!

[Ariana]

You're hired!

That is reassuring, though. I am starting tomorrow fresh with nothing in the crib. Fingers crossed!

:: I would do 5-10-15-20 minute soothing intervals for her at this age. I would personally use the soother but just one and only pick it up and give it to her during a regular interval if she throws it. She will learn quickly to stop throwing it. If going in makes her cry harder add more time to the intervals. My own kids would freak out more when we went in so we added time but started with the 5-10-15.

For the girl I described above she was 18 months and I did 15 minute intervals...so waited 15 before going in to soothe and then 15 more. Her first day it took an hour for her to fall asleep.

Good luck!!

[childcaremom]

I need some outside opinions.

Dcg is still waking and crying/screaming after naps. It doesn't matter how long she sleeps, she will wake this way. Her naps are getting a bit longer (1.5 hours on average now) but this is obviously not long enough.

They went away to visit family Fri/Sat/Sun/Today. Back tomorrow. I imagine this week will be much the same, if not worse. This is week 3.

Next week will be week 4. The last transition week. Mom and dad are going to be away and grandma is babysitting. Still bringing dcg to daycare.

Am I being too cautious by thinking this is not going to work out? I don't think dcps have created the best scenario to get her transitioned into care (2 vacays in the trial period?). But I don't want to spend the first few weeks of summer break listening to the afternap screaming.

I am sending dcm an email outlining our schedule, what I do when she wakes up, etc and just wondering if I should point out the obvious here. That it is not looking like it's going to work. Because the end of trial period, if I give notice, they will be away.

[Heidi]

I need some outside opinions.

Dcg is still waking and crying/screaming after naps. It doesn't matter how long she sleeps, she will wake this way. Her naps are getting a bit longer (1.5 hours on average now) but this is obviously not long enough.

They went away to visit family Fri/Sat/Sun/Today. Back tomorrow. I imagine this week will be much the same, if not worse. This is week 3.


Next week will be week 4. The last transition week. Mom and dad are going to be away and grandma is babysitting. Still bringing dcg to daycare.

Am I being too cautious by thinking this is not going to work out? I don't think dcps have created the best scenario to get her transitioned into care (2 vacays in the trial period?). But I don't want to spend the first few weeks of summer break listening to the afternap screaming.

I am sending dcm an email outlining our schedule, what I do when she wakes up, etc and just wondering if I should point out the obvious here. That it is not looking like it's going to work. Because the end of trial period, if I give notice, they will be away.

You could tell them that she's having a great transition except for nap, and you'd like to extend the trial period two weeks because there have been so many changes at the same time.

As for the crying once awake, I have a suggestion that has worked for me.

First, put everyone else to bed first, and let her "help" you tuck them in. That way, she understands that it's nap time for everyone, not just her.

Set an alarm clock (on music) in her room for when nap time is over. About 10 minutes before you get the other kids up. Then, tell her "when the music comes on, nap is over".

Stand outside her door right before the alarm goes off. When you hear it go, wait 30 seconds, then go in. Say "oh, yeah, the music is on. Nap is over, did you have a good nap?" Roses and sunshine and completely ignoring her yelling. "oh oh, I can't get you out if you're yelling"

Open the curtains, etc. Then, stand by her bed and try to get her to stop yelling before you pick her up. Talk to her, soothe her hair if you must, but try to get her to stop, even if for a brief second. If she starts up again, you can set her back down and try again.

That part is rough on both of you, but she needs to learn that screaming does not equal getting out. Sit down on the floor and try peek-a-boo or something silly, maybe.

Then, let her help you wake up the other kids...same song and dance with "nap time is over!"

I've also had a wake up song; you could try that. Last kiddo instead of an alarm, I just turned the music on the baby monitor on right before I walked in. That way, if he was actually still asleep, I had a few extra minutes. This one was co-sleeping at home, and he was right about that same age. At a month in, it was still rough some days, but he mostly went to sleep without too much of a fuss, and sometimes woke up the same way. He was otherwise pretty happy, though.

[childcaremom]

You could tell them that she's having a great transition except for nap, and you'd like to extend the trial period two weeks because there have been so many changes at the same time.

As for the crying once awake, I have a suggestion that has worked for me.

First, put everyone else to bed first, and let her "help" you tuck them in. That way, she understands that it's nap time for everyone, not just her.

Set an alarm clock (on music) in her room for when nap time is over. About 10 minutes before you get the other kids up. Then, tell her "when the music comes on, nap is over".

Stand outside her door right before the alarm goes off. When you hear it go, wait 30 seconds, then go in. Say "oh, yeah, the music is on. Nap is over, did you have a good nap?" Roses and sunshine and completely ignoring her yelling. "oh oh, I can't get you out if you're yelling"

Open the curtains, etc. Then, stand by her bed and try to get her to stop yelling before you pick her up. Talk to her, soothe her hair if you must, but try to get her to stop, even if for a brief second. If she starts up again, you can set her back down and try again.

That part is rough on both of you, but she needs to learn that screaming does not equal getting out. Sit down on the floor and try peek-a-boo or something silly, maybe.

Then, let her help you wake up the other kids...same song and dance with "nap time is over!"

I've also had a wake up song; you could try that. Last kiddo instead of an alarm, I just turned the music on the baby monitor on right before I walked in. That way, if he was actually still asleep, I had a few extra minutes. This one was co-sleeping at home, and he was right about that same age. At a month in, it was still rough some days, but he mostly went to sleep without too much of a fuss, and sometimes woke up the same way. He was otherwise pretty happy, though.

Thank you Heidi! lovethis

After much thought I have ended up extending the trial period. Yesterday was marginally better so I'm hopeful that it continues.

I have also talked with mom and dad and just laid out what I need her to be doing here and encouraged them to do the same at home. Dcm seems open to the suggestions so fingers crossed!

Thanks again.