"After This, Can We...."

[Rockgirl]

Dcg, 3.5, is CONSTANTLY asking what we are doing "after this". I get it.....some people really need to know what's coming up, what to expect, etc. But it is getting out of hand! We barely get started with an activity, and she starts in...."After this, can we play with playdough? Can we play Zingo? Can we do yoga?" It goes on and on. It's like she can't just enjoy now--she MUST know what's next, or be making requests.

I do give them a 5 minute heads-up before we transition, so we're not abruptly changing activities.

I guess it's really more of an annoyance than a problem, but I'm curious if anyone else has a child like this. I've started just saying, "Right now we are doing this."

[Baby Beluga]

I have one like this. I just tell her "Right now we are focusing on X. We will talk about Y when we the time comes."

[Thriftylady]

I have two that are somewhat bad about this. I have started telling them both "if you bug me about X, we will take a nap instead". This works as all my kiddos are old enough to not nap. My two that are bad about this are siblings, and make their mom nuts as well.

[BabyMonkeys]

Some kids just need to know what's coming next. I was like that as a kid and I wouldn't be able to enjoy whatever we were doing now because I'd be worried about what we were doing next. When I knew what was coming next I could happily participate in the current activity. My son is like that too. My daughter couldn't possibly care less.

[MunchkinWrangler]

Maybe a picture chart of your schedule(if you have one for activities) would help the child not ask so much. I'm in the process of making one to help with transitions. Maybe this will help calm them and know what is happening next on their own. Just a thought.

[nannyde]

Answer "we'll see" after every question.

If you are doing playdoh and she asks what's next or can we do xyz say "we'll see...do playdoh"

If you are doing painting and she asks what's next or can we do xyz say "we'll see..do painting"

She's just controlling you. Her words are just "terms of engagement". She's figured out exact words to get you to DO her and DO what she wants.

It's a sign she has WAY WAY too much adult in her play. I would have her go play toys the majority of her time at your house and do very very little adult involved activities.... by involved I mean ... if it takes an adult to set up the activity, do with, and clean up... I wouldn't do it.

She needs a few weeks where she free plays and focuses on the other kids and toys. Then very gradually do an adult sponsored activity that is short and easy then back to go play toys. Increase as she tolerates. Of she starts her controlling terms of engagement again she is telling you you are doing too much so back down to go play toys.

[Rockgirl]

Answer "we'll see" after every question.

If you are doing playdoh and she asks what's next or can we do xyz say "we'll see...do playdoh"

If you are doing painting and she asks what's next or can we do xyz say "we'll see..do painting"

She's just controlling you. Her words are just "terms of engagement". She's figured out exact words to get you to DO her and DO what she wants.

It's a sign she has WAY WAY too much adult in her play. I would have her go play toys the majority of her time at your house and do very very little adult involved activities.... by involved I mean ... if it takes an adult to set up the activity, do with, and clean up... I wouldn't do it.

She needs a few weeks where she free plays and focuses on the other kids and toys. Then very gradually do an adult sponsored activity that is short and easy then back to go play toys. Increase as she tolerates. Of she starts her controlling terms of engagement again she is telling you you are doing too much so back down to go play toys.

This is pretty much what I'm doing, so I'll stick with it. This child has always been.....intense. I've had her from six weeks old, and I could tell a long time ago that she would be like this.

[spedmommy4]

This is pretty much what I'm doing, so I'll stick with it. This child has always been.....intense. I've had her from six weeks old, and I could tell a long time ago that she would be like this.

If this doesn't work, you might give the picture schedule a try. If she's been that intense since infancy, it may just be part of her personality. When I have kids like this I post the schedule and say, "I don't know. Check our schedule."

I have this one up in my classroom and it has worked out well so far. http://m.lakeshorelearning.com/h5/pd...2904%26f%3Dsli

[Ariana]

Answer "we'll see" after every question.

If you are doing playdoh and she asks what's next or can we do xyz say "we'll see...do playdoh"

If you are doing painting and she asks what's next or can we do xyz say "we'll see..do painting"

She's just controlling you. Her words are just "terms of engagement". She's figured out exact words to get you to DO her and DO what she wants.

It's a sign she has WAY WAY too much adult in her play. I would have her go play toys the majority of her time at your house and do very very little adult involved activities.... by involved I mean ... if it takes an adult to set up the activity, do with, and clean up... I wouldn't do it.

She needs a few weeks where she free plays and focuses on the other kids and toys. Then very gradually do an adult sponsored activity that is short and easy then back to go play toys. Increase as she tolerates. Of she starts her controlling terms of engagement again she is telling you you are doing too much so back down to go play toys.

100% agree with this. My own daughter is like this and it is never ending. She is definitely trying to control what is happening. I also say "we'll see, but if you keep asking, we won't be doing anything". I tell my kids to "go play" all the time but since she has started school with all the adult lead activities she can be really annoying at home. Usually by Sunday afternoon she stops doing it...then Monday starts all over again!

A schedule might work nicely for her but it will cut down on any sponteneity which is the downside. If you run a bery tight ship it will work for sure. I personally follow a loose schedule but crafts and things are spontaneous.

[Play Care]

Dcg, 3.5, is CONSTANTLY asking what we are doing "after this". I get it.....some people really need to know what's coming up, what to expect, etc. But it is getting out of hand! We barely get started with an activity, and she starts in...."After this, can we play with playdough? Can we play Zingo? Can we do yoga?" It goes on and on. It's like she can't just enjoy now--she MUST know what's next, or be making requests.

I do give them a 5 minute heads-up before we transition, so we're not abruptly changing activities.

I guess it's really more of an annoyance than a problem, but I'm curious if anyone else has a child like this. I've started just saying, "Right now we are doing this."

Yes! I've posted before about my 5 yo DCG. She's an only child and overly doted on by parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles.
We have a picture schedule. We do similar transitions. She is always asking what's next, or during free play asking for music or coloring or games, etc.
I've noticed that she can NOT sit still. Kindergarten starts in September and it should be interesting.

[WAHMderful_Life]

I have one like that

I have on that wants to know when we are going to do this or that and I just tell him "don't worry about it" and "go play/have fun" with what he is doing. With him I don't know if he gets a bit bored with free play but he is the only one that asks when we are going to do something else. Most of my older kids are excited to go outside and when its almost time they know and will ask if we are going out soon (their favourite thing to do) so that make sense to me but always asking are we going to this yet/is it almost time for art or circle or what ever I find annoying when it is persistent.

[TwinMama]

I have one that does this. I think that it's a good thing to say "Let's concentrate on what we're doing right now." It makes them anxious and honestly it stresses out the other kids. If he HAS to concentrate on what he's doing it will get better.

My dcb is a controlling child and an only child. He has other issues, but this one is annoying I agree. He never enjoys our activity because he's constantly worried about what's happening next. Even if he's told what the next activity is and that activity comes he doesn't enjoy himself he worries about the next one so I don't tell him anymore and it's helped.

He also thinks that if he puts in his requests for the day on what we do that's it's going to happen exactly how he wants it. It works at his house. Even when his Mom comes to pick him up the first thing he requests is either candy or to go to someone's house. She will literally say..."Well I dunno if they're home but let's find out." Even if she doesn't want to go anywhere.

It's better to help him with this now. It gets worse unless you do.