Question About Potty Training

[LNO27]

I have a wonderful family that has been so awesome thus far but today they shocked me a little bit with their request. They wanted their child to wear underwear today and for me to take them potty every 15-20 minutes. I was a little shocked but being put on the spot said "sure." I have in my contract that I will help them potty train their children and that I have no requirements for when they should be potty trained. If there are problems I will come to them and we will find a solution. Background - has been in pullups since coming and is wet almost every potty trip we take - I ask often if the child needs to go; the answer is always "No."

So all is going ok until about 11:00am when I take the child to the restroom, the child said they went, despite me not hearing anything. I let them come off, and we walked back to my den. The child played for the next 10-12 minutes (I have the timer set for every 15 minutes) and then lays on my couch and covers self with a blanket. The timer buzzes, and I let the child know it's time to go back to the potty and they say "I pottied in my pants." It was all over my couch. The child had already had 2 accidents prior during those 15 minutes of waiting for the timer.....

Now, totally my fault for not being on guard with the couch, so not uptight about that. What is obvious to me is that the child is not ready. 1. the child cannot tell me when they need to go. In fact each time asked they say they do not have to go. 2. every 15-20 mins seems excessive to me. The poor child can hardly get into an activity before I'm sending them back to the potty.

I messaged DCM and said it was not working well, we were out of clothing for the day and going back in a pull up, that we could try again tomorrow if they brought a stack of fresh clothes in. I want to speak with the DCM a little bit about it if this happens again tomorrow. My gut is the child is not ready, but I am not sure if this is my place to decide? It is my home....and my furniture.. I had a very late potty trainer so I totally get how hard it can be.....yikes. ???

Looking for any input you have. Have you tackled this? Am I being ridiculous - should I just stick with this method? OR Is this excessive and is the child giving clear indications that they aren't ready? What kind of rules do you have about potty training in your home?:confused: Thanks for your help!

[Unregistered]

This child is not ready for underwear. Use the pulls ups until they are having success in those THEN switch to underwear. It amazes me that parents think putting their child in underwear is going to magically make them go on the toilet. Not to mention, a child having accidents all day long on your floor, couch, etc. is extremely unsanitary. I would tell these parents that while you are totally willing to work with them on potty training, it can't come at the expense of everyone's day and underwear cannot be worn to daycare until the child has gone "x" amount of time in a pull up without an accident (i would say along the lines of 2 weeks)

[JackandJill]

I would let mom know you are happy to help, but for sanitary reasons the little one must be accident free AT DAYCARE for 2 weeks, no exceptions.

I also have as part of my potty training policy that a child really needs to be aware of the process. To me they are potty trained when they can tell me they need to go. I have no problem with helping to remind the child in the beginning every 30 minutes or so to take a break if they need it, but if its going over the child's head I don't feel they are ready to potty train in daycare.

I highly encourage my parents to use long weekends and weeks off to do the initial training at home. I require they do the bulk of the work, as I can't dedicate all that time and focus in a group setting.

Good luck!!

[Thriftylady]

Two weeks accident free here to get rid of pull ups. I just can't go around cleaning up accidents all day.

[KarenSue]

I have a wonderful family that has been so awesome thus far but today they shocked me a little bit with their request. They wanted their child to wear underwear today and for me to take them potty every 15-20 minutes. I was a little shocked but being put on the spot said "sure." I have in my contract that I will help them potty train their children and that I have no requirements for when they should be potty trained. If there are problems I will come to them and we will find a solution. Background - has been in pullups since coming and is wet almost every potty trip we take - I ask often if the child needs to go; the answer is always "No."

So all is going ok until about 11:00am when I take the child to the restroom, the child said they went, despite me not hearing anything. I let them come off, and we walked back to my den. The child played for the next 10-12 minutes (I have the timer set for every 15 minutes) and then lays on my couch and covers self with a blanket. The timer buzzes, and I let the child know it's time to go back to the potty and they say "I pottied in my pants." It was all over my couch. The child had already had 2 accidents prior during those 15 minutes of waiting for the timer.....

Now, totally my fault for not being on guard with the couch, so not uptight about that. What is obvious to me is that the child is not ready. 1. the child cannot tell me when they need to go. In fact each time asked they say they do not have to go. 2. every 15-20 mins seems excessive to me. The poor child can hardly get into an activity before I'm sending them back to the potty.

I messaged DCM and said it was not working well, we were out of clothing for the day and going back in a pull up, that we could try again tomorrow if they brought a stack of fresh clothes in. I want to speak with the DCM a little bit about it if this happens again tomorrow. My gut is the child is not ready, but I am not sure if this is my place to decide? It is my home....and my furniture.. I had a very late potty trainer so I totally get how hard it can be.....yikes. ???

Looking for any input you have. Have you tackled this? Am I being ridiculous - should I just stick with this method? OR Is this excessive and is the child giving clear indications that they aren't ready? What kind of rules do you have about potty training in your home?:confused: Thanks for your help!

Please read nanny de's potty training readiness article. I gave it to all my parents when the time came. It's very very helpful.

[laundrymom]

I have one who thinks she's training one this mem weekend.
She's tired of buying diapers. She is really excited about it so I'm cheering her on. The thing is, child doesn't care if they are wet, poopy, in diapers or nekkid. Child honestly does not care. So I am anticipating mom being trained. Not child.
I'm guessing the stress will set him back a few months. I'm guessing around the end of summer he will catch on. He turns 3 in July.

[KarenSue]

https://www.daycare.com/nannyde/potty-training-letter-to-parents.htm

This is the article. I couldn't figure out how to put the link but think I got it. Read this and give it to the parents.

[Mike]

This child is not ready for underwear. Use the pulls ups until they are having success in those THEN switch to underwear. It amazes me that parents think putting their child in underwear is going to magically make them go on the toilet. Not to mention, a child having accidents all day long on your floor, couch, etc. is extremely unsanitary. I would tell these parents that while you are totally willing to work with them on potty training, it can't come at the expense of everyone's day and underwear cannot be worn to daycare until the child has gone "x" amount of time in a pull up without an accident (i would say along the lines of 2 weeks)

Until a child is ready, they stay in pullups. Occasional accidents after they are trained is one thing. Daily accidents, definitely not ready.

[Unregistered]

Put pull up over the under wear so no mess but they can still feel it and start to catch on

[Leigh]

Put straight: You are insane if you let this to happen again tomorrow. A child who can't recognize and verbalize the need to go is not ready to train. Unless you don't mind pee ruining everything you own, you need to tell DCM that you don't believe the child is ready, and will NOT be using underwear until the child has a few weeks of success in a pull up. Why would DCM think it's OK to have someone else's child pee all over YOUR belongings?

[HHdaycare12]

Thank you !!!!!

[Crazy8]

Put pull up over the under wear so no mess but they can still feel it and start to catch on

I tried this once until the child pooped in the underwear. A LOT OF POOP. No thanks.
I highly recommend potty training with underwear only at home when you have a good 4-7 days to stay home with the child - and that means no throwing a pull up on for 3 hours while you are at the mall - it means you STAY HOME and potty train. Then by the time the child comes to my home wearing pull ups they are further along in the training and once accident free for 2 weeks we will go to straight underwear.

[Unregistered]

I know most hate potty training but i like it maby cause I'm really good at it.i had all tile at my old house so didn't mind the mess,it was just like any other mess that could happen.i even did like a potty training thing (advertised for strictly potty training)while I only had a couple potty trainer no other kids so had the time to potty train them. I seen it as I have these kids 10+ hours a day anyway so I my as well teach them my self ,but I understand doing daycare u don't have time or for the mess.i don't think pulls up ever work so I would say they should take time off maby a week or so to start it then u could help out after that

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Why can't parents accept that the kid just isn't ready? Put him back in a diaper and wait it out for awhile. I am so over parents forcing the potty issue and saying the kid is ready and spending months trying to get them out of diapers. If it is taking months...they are nor ready!

[Play Care]

I know most hate potty training but i like it maby cause I'm really good at it.i had all tile at my old house so didn't mind the mess,it was just like any other mess that could happen.i even did like a potty training thing (advertised for strictly potty training)while I only had a couple potty trainer no other kids so had the time to potty train them. I seen it as I have these kids 10+ hours a day anyway so I my as well teach them my self ,but I understand doing daycare u don't have time or for the mess.i don't think pulls up ever work so I would say they should take time off maby a week or so to start it then u could help out after that

I actually don't hate training. When the child is ready it takes me less than a week to get it done. Easy peasy. I've trained many a kid here who wasn't training at home because I knew they were ready. Love having one less diaper to change.

What I despise is when the child clearly isn't ready and parents push. I then get to spend *months* putting the child on the potty or dealing with the potty accidents. Not cool.