Tantrums at Drop Off..

**Cat Herder** · 01-20-2011, 06:25 AM

Mine is the other way around, tantrums/clinging on to me when it is time to leave, but YES I take control.

I hand them over and close the door quickly, the tantrum is all theirs.

I am not being passive aggressive. It is necessary, otherwise it can drag on indefinitely and I have other kids I need to get back to (my daycare space is separate from my family space and at the back of the house). I admit it helps that I am a bit older than all my DC parents.

**Blackcat31** · 01-20-2011, 07:03 AM

I have actually starting using a bit of a method nannyde suggested...I have dcm and dcg say their goodbyes outside and dcm opens door, puts dcg inside the door without entering the house and at pick up I have dcg ready and when dcm gets here I send her out onto steps to greet mom. I haven't had any temper tantrum issues with anyone else at drop off and the only reason I am doing this with this little girl is because I can't stand the babyish behavior and whining about how she caaaaan't take any of her stuff off with out mom. Drop offs and pick ups were starting to get so annoying and lasting up to 3/4 of an hour! Grrrr! That behavior really bothers me so I have started having mom do what Nan says she does for this issue. It is working like a charm! THANKS NANNYDE!!!!

Otherwise, I don't have issues with drop-off either...more apt to happen at pick up and if the child does act out...I just turn and walk away even if mom is in middle of talking because I am NOT going to try to have a conversation with her while her kid is acting up and she ignores him if anything so I just walk away and say "See you tomorrow" over my shoulder.

**MyAngels** · 01-20-2011, 07:14 AM

Yes, I do take control. I simply say "It looks like a drop and go morning - see you later Mom." At pickup it becomes a "grab and go evening." I've found that if I don't control this right away it almost invariably becomes an epidemic, with the other kids "catching" it from the first one to do it.

**DanceMom** · 01-20-2011, 09:02 AM

The tantrum is not because they are coming here...they are having the tantrum at home and in the car...and while the parents are getting the kids coats etc off....So this morning I just said leave to all three moms..and got them undressed myself..as soon as the parent was out the door they ALL stopped and were normal and happy as can be. :

:

**lvt77** · 01-20-2011, 09:13 AM

I added this to my PHB, It worked for my group:

It is normal for some children to have difficulty separating from parents in the morning or not wanting to leave when it's time to go home. Please be very brief (no more than 5 minutes is sufficient) during these transition times. The longer you prolong the departure the harder it gets, and provider will need to focus on the other children in care. A smile, cheerful good-bye kiss, and a reassuring word that you will be back are all that is needed in the morning. In years of experience, children are nearly always quick to get involved in play or activities as soon as parents are gone. This is also a time of testing when two different authority figures are present (the parent and the provider). All the children will test to see if the rules still apply. During arrivals and departures, parents must back the rules of the daycare (see House Rules). If you do not, provider will remind the child that their behavior is inappropriate and take action to correct, if needed. So please be in control of your child during drop off and pick up times. Please help show your child that you respect the rules of the daycare, as well as the provider by reminding them that the rules still apply whether you are here or not.

**nannyde** · 01-20-2011, 10:11 AM

Originally posted by Blackcat31

I have actually starting using a bit of a method nannyde suggested...I have dcm and dcg say their goodbyes outside and dcm opens door, puts dcg inside the door without entering the house and at pick up I have dcg ready and when dcm gets here I send her out onto steps to greet mom. I haven't had any temper tantrum issues with anyone else at drop off and the only reason I am doing this with this little girl is because I can't stand the babyish behavior and whining about how she caaaaan't take any of her stuff off with out mom. Drop offs and pick ups were starting to get so annoying and lasting up to 3/4 of an hour! Grrrr! That behavior really bothers me so I have started having mom do what Nan says she does for this issue. It is working like a charm! THANKS NANNYDE!!!!

I rule

You shouldn't have to do it for too much longer unless you have a terribly behaved parent. Usually the parent gets bored with it really quick like and you can go back to regular programming.

Sometimes it's the kid but most of the time it's actually the parent. There's a good subset of parents who want to do "uber parent" with an audience. Once the audience is removed it get boring really fast.

Sometimes it's the kid and you just have to remove the power supply and they settle down quickly. It's always best with these kids to never have any time under your roof where they are confused about who is in charge.

**Cat Herder** · 01-20-2011, 10:33 AM

Originally posted by nannyde

I rule

There's a good subset of parents who want to do "uber parent" with an audience. Once the audience is removed it get boring really fast.

Ugh, and these are the ones that make me nuts!!! Number one "baby talk", "exception begging" and "child behavior problem" offenders....

Have you found that correlation, too?

**kitkat** · 01-20-2011, 10:49 AM

I help take control if a kid starts throwing a fit. Below is what I have in my handbook and it has helped. The parents I have feel bad leaving me with a kid throwing a tantrum, but I'd much rather they leave b/c the behavior stops immediately. Sometimes it's hard for well meaning parents to get the hint that they are making it worse, even if it's unintentional.

Arrival/Pick Up
Please ring the door bell (front door) and come in. Please help your child take his/her jacket and shoes off on the rug in front of the lockers and place them in the assigned locker. Please do not let your child walk through the house with his/her shoes/boots on. Please be brief during drop off/pick up times. Children see this as a great opportunity to test parents and care provider to see who is in charge. Children will cry, throw fits, or misbehave at this time. As hard as it may be, it is best to leave immediately if your child begins to cry, throw a fit, or misbehave. The situation will only escalate if you linger and make everyone feel bad.

**JMDJ** · 09-25-2012, 10:57 AM

tantrum drop off

Hi I have a small at home daycare I have been doing this for a few years . I have had a larger daycare in the past but back to a couple kids in my house. One child is 2 and the other is 4. I know both the families well. The 4 year old boy over the last 3 times is having these blowout tantrums at drop off kicking pinching me throwing stuff almost hitting me with it or the other little girl here. Not t mention pounding on my window. I am so anxious when I know he is coming. And today had called the mom after this episode being worse to possible come get him, What should I do he has been fine here gets engaged in the projects I have for the day and plays well. The parents made reference to maybe he doesn't want to come cause there isn't any other kids just the one 2 yr old. Which I have opening but I can't go out and just take them. This comment has been mentioned a few times and of course I take it personally. i have always had GREAT re pore and families have always highly recommended me and begged me to get back in to child care. But I tend to always take it personal when stuff like this happens. What should i do???

Tantrums at Drop Off..

Tantrums at Drop Off..

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