Should I Tell the Mom?

[Zoe]

I'm having supper with my DD, when she tells me that dcg was talking to her during quiet time and said, "If you aren't good for me, then I'm gonna tell my mom to find a new daycare."

So now I'm trying to figure out what I need to do, if anything. This girl is almost 5 years old (same as my DD) and I can just tell that she and her little sister are in charge of their mother. Frankly, I'm a little worried that she's going to start coming up with weird reasons to not come here, and her mom will go for it. They're my only dck's since I'm in the license process and can only have one family at a time. I really think they're a great fit and I really need the money!

I know that they have fun here, and I really love these kids, but I do discipline them when necessary and put them responsible for their actions. I hold certain expectations for my rules, proper behavior, etc, which aren't extreme or unreasonable. I'm sure they get to run the show at home, and probably aren't disciplined at all, so could this girl be starting to look for reasons to leave if she can get her mom to pull them?

I guess what I'm asking is this: should I bring this up with dcm as a precaution to let her know that her daughter may start to feed her mom untrue stories about us? I have this documented to start to show this bossy behavior that I HAVE noticed before, just not at this threatening level. Should I casually mention it as a "kids say the darndest things" sort of deal? Or should I just keep it to myself?

Any suggestions would really help here! I may be stressing over nothing, but I really don't want to lose this family!

[Blackcat31]

Why not talk to the daycare girl? Let her know you are on to her and will be discussing it with her mom. Even if you dont ever talk to mom, the dcg will know you are aware of her "games"...she can't play if you dont let her...kwim?

I currently have a really manipulative dcb and once I let him know I wasnt going to put up with his games, his behavior changed drastically.

[lvt77]

I would bring it up. I have a 4yr DCG who lies lies lies..
She will poop her pants and then tell her parents that I wont let he go to the bathroom and etc. I talked to them about the issues that I was haivng with her while at my home and they were quick to see that I was being truthful.... I feel that you always need to nip things quick or you will have more issues later......Dont let them spiral out of control....

[Zoe]

Here's the other thing. I don't have them again until Tuesday. That's a lot of time to "play these games" with dcm. I was thinking about calling her....

[Blackcat31]

Here's the other thing. I don't have them again until Tuesday. That's a lot of time to "play these games" with dcm. I was thinking about calling her....

Personally, I think you are stressing...so relax, take a deep breath and address the issue with the dcg on Tuesday. Then tell mom IN FRONT of girl that you know what she said and are on to her... I wouldnt call the dcm, because it looks like you are intimidated by the dcg who is a child so dont let the kid get the best of you....enjoy the few days without her!!

[lvt77]

Personally, I think you are stressing...so relax, take a deep breath and address the issue with the dcg on Tuesday. Then tell mom IN FRONT of girl that you know what she said and are on to her... I wouldnt call the dcm, because it looks like you are intimidated by the dcg who is a child so dont let the kid get the best of you....enjoy the few days without her!!

I agree. I would telll the mom infront of the little girl... let her know whos in charge...

[Zoe]

Yeah, I've felt like crap today and when I heard my DD say that, I freaked out a little. I'm pretty stressed out by stupid financial stuff right now. You're right. I'm probably over-reacting.

HATE it when money rules over everything! I'll try to relax.

[QualiTcare]

i think it's like the same as when a kid says "i'm not going to be your friend anymore." i doubt the kid was threatening to make up things about YOU or anything like that - just threatening your child that they wouldn't be friends anymore because they'd go to a new daycare.

still not nice, but not dangerous.

[countrymom]

Why not talk to the daycare girl? Let her know you are on to her and will be discussing it with her mom. Even if you dont ever talk to mom, the dcg will know you are aware of her "games"...she can't play if you dont let her...kwim?

I currently have a really manipulative dcb and once I let him know I wasnt going to put up with his games, his behavior changed drastically.

exactly this, confront the girl first before the mom.

[SandeeAR]

Why not talk to the daycare girl? Let her know you are on to her and will be discussing it with her mom. Even if you dont ever talk to mom, the dcg will know you are aware of her "games"...she can't play if you dont let her...kwim?

I currently have a really manipulative dcb and once I let him know I wasnt going to put up with his games, his behavior changed drastically.

I agree with this.

[momofsix]

i think it's like the same as when a kid says "i'm not going to be your friend anymore." i doubt the kid was threatening to make up things about YOU or anything like that - just threatening your child that they wouldn't be friends anymore because they'd go to a new daycare.

still not nice, but not dangerous.

This is exactly what I was thinking. Kids (especially girls) always say things like "I'm not going to be your friend if...fill in the blank. I would think it was directed at your daughter, not you. I wouldn't even mention it to mom because I would think nothing big of it.
As Blackcat said..."relax!"

[Zoe]

Thanks for the responses! Sometimes it helps to just talk it out. I over-reacted in my cranky/exhausted state. I'll be talking to the girl about it, and leave mom out of it. Thanks again!