Fighting

[nikia]

I have two dcg one is 2 and is whiner and really just not a pleasant child. The other one is 3 and knows how to push the buttons of the 2 year old. 2 year old told 3 year old she hated her I was shocked told her we do not talk like that to our friends or in my house. they have been fighting none stop over everything and I am sick of be the dang ref for them.

Do you guys let your kids work it out as long as it isn't getting physical or do u always work it out for them? I have separated them took toys away and did time outs. Mainly its the 2 year old who whines hits throws fits and starts all if the fights. I'm at my end today and cannot wait to get rid of these kids today as bad as it sounds its how I feel today.

[lvt77]

this is how my day was on Friday and I was feeling like I was gonna just pop!

For me, I let them try to work things out, as long as it does not end up getting physical like you said, I want them to learn to take matters into their own hands sometimes.

When kids say bad words, I will tell them " I know that you know some very nice words can you tell me some of those nice words?" When they find the nice words I tell them that they will need to use those words instead because the other words hurt my feelings or _________feelings. If they keep using the bad words or not so nice words I ignor it.....

If they keep fighting over toys, I put that toy in a time out crate and no one can play with it for the rest of that play period....

In the end, if they just keep going at it, I will have one of the kids become my shadow and will not allow for that child to mingle with the other child that they are having issues with..... Sometimes I have to go that extra mile having them shadow me, rather than listen to them fight non-stop....

[nannyde]

Do you guys let your kids work it out as long as it isn't getting physical or do u always work it out for them?

I don't let them work it out. I assess each child's behavior singly and correct. I don't spend energy counselling them to do the right thing. I just TELL them what I want and then supervise them to make sure they are doing it. If they are behaving individually they will behave with each other.