Mine

[daycarediva]

Of course this child is 2. Pretty verbal. It is the most extreme case of the mine's I have ever seen though.

Another child's Mom comes in and they say "Mommy!" He will SCREECH "NO MY MOMMY!"

despite correction, redirection, and a lot of modeling, this situation is going from bad to worse.

This week when ANOTHER child corrects him, he now pushes.

Any ideas?

[Blackcat31]

Of course this child is 2. Pretty verbal. It is the most extreme case of the mine's I have ever seen though.

Another child's Mom comes in and they say "Mommy!" He will SCREECH "NO MY MOMMY!"

despite correction, redirection, and a lot of modeling, this situation is going from bad to worse.

This week when ANOTHER child corrects him, he now pushes.

Any ideas?

Ugh! That's a tough one...

Can you make pick up a game? Kind of like let's guess who's mommy is here....

Either that or maybe just dont allow him to be by the door at pick up time so he can't claim someone else's mom?

Other than that, I guess I'd try my best to ignore him and not even correct him...sometimes toddlers are one tracked mind so they simply don't hear you.... or care.

[Josiegirl]

Waiting to see what others say. I have the same problem here. Some days I see a light at the end of the tunnel, dcg will be 3 this summer but most days are spent teaching sharing. If I have 100 of something she wants those plus 1 more. Lots of snatching, grabbing, tantrums....fun times. Then the next day she gives some to everybody. It's sinking in, just not as quickly as I'd like it to.
It's normal. Frustrating. Creates chaos and tears within seconds.
As to the my mommy thing, if there are 2 kids waving byebye to their mommies at the window, heaven forbid. That's MY mommy and she pushes the others away. No MY Mommy and the other pushes back.
This too shall pass, right?

[KiwiKids]

Are mom and dad on the same page? I've found some kids ( 2 kids in 11 years of business ) simply won't stop a behavior like that unless home and daycare are 100% on the same page. I handle things the same way others have posted but I will make kids take a break for shoving. They have to go play by themselves until they calm down enough to apologize and go back to playing. In both cases where the parents weren't willing to work with me there were enough other issues that I terminated care. If it was the only issue I would probably have tried to wait the stage out.... Give it a month to see if there is progress and make a decision then.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Call me crazy but I just shake my head and say, "no" (if it is, in fact, not theirs) in a calm voice and then say, "play time" and point for that child to go play. It seems to curb it pretty fast.

[Mike]

Call me crazy but I just shake my head and say, "no" (if it is, in fact, not theirs) in a calm voice and then say, "play time" and point for that child to go play. It seems to curb it pretty fast.

That sounds like a good way to handle it. I know that in general, too much attention just aggravates situations.

[daycarediva]

I have tried ignoring (which leads to increased and/or repeated yelling and saying MINE). This will lead to toy taking, pushing, etc. by him if I do not intervene fast enough. I obviously have to intervene before hand, but ignoring and then having to intervene when he escalates it is more than I can provide in a day, since this is ALL DAY LONG.

I have been saying "No, leave it." but that does not work. He will continue until I have him sufficiently redirected.

If another child TALKS about a toy/person he says "MINE!" "No, MY Mommy/toy/etc" ALL through show and tell, circle, ANY conversation this almost always comes up.

If another child SAYS "Miss daycarediva can I...." he will interrupt and screech "NO! MY MISS DAYCAREDIVA!" and will run to me and grab me (to claim possession?)

I have told mom he can no longer bring show and tell as the toy is so heavily guarded it interrupts his whole day.

When he plays his eyes are constantly scanning the room to see if anyone has anything he MAY want.

He is a toy hoarder.

Even if I have two of the EXACT SAME ITEM, he claims both. Eg. yesterday on a ride on scooter, he was riding and screaming at the other child that the OTHER scooter was "MINE" as well.

Only child, they are on board but since they have no comparison they see it as normal (which is it, but this is the worst I have ever seen) . Eg. yesterday Mom came to pick up in sunglasses. He screamed "MINE" and attempted to take them. She had to stop him, pry them out of his hands and say "NO. These are MOMMY'S. Your sunglasses are BLUE and they are in the car."

[daycarediva]

Circle time, he interrupts all the kids to say "MINE" to whatever they are talking about.

When I am reading, he says MINE to the book, or to the characters IN the story.

When we have music time, he claims all of the instruments and loses it when I put out 6 of the same colored maracas because they aren't ALL his.

But, here's the kicker- he CAN and DOES share, he openly gives up toys he is no longer playing with. He finishes his turn on the computer and calls the next child. He gives children their share toys from home sweely. He sits next to another child and plays out of the same bin of blocks uneventfully.

I just can't figure him out!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Can you start having him play out of a bucket of toys that you place RIGHT next to you during every single play time that way you can closely monitor him and he can't attempt to monopolize every item in your daycare? I'm just wondering out loud here because I am sure that would be incredibly frustrating to deal with all day.

[Blackcat31]

Here are a couple other threads about "mine"s and possessive behaviors

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=40888

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=71709

https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=possessive

[JackandJill]

I have tried ignoring (which leads to increased and/or repeated yelling and saying MINE). This will lead to toy taking, pushing, etc. by him if I do not intervene fast enough. I obviously have to intervene before hand, but ignoring and then having to intervene when he escalates it is more than I can provide in a day, since this is ALL DAY LONG.

I have been saying "No, leave it." but that does not work. He will continue until I have him sufficiently redirected.

If another child TALKS about a toy/person he says "MINE!" "No, MY Mommy/toy/etc" ALL through show and tell, circle, ANY conversation this almost always comes up.

If another child SAYS "Miss daycarediva can I...." he will interrupt and screech "NO! MY MISS DAYCAREDIVA!" and will run to me and grab me (to claim possession?)

I have told mom he can no longer bring show and tell as the toy is so heavily guarded it interrupts his whole day.

When he plays his eyes are constantly scanning the room to see if anyone has anything he MAY want.

He is a toy hoarder.

Even if I have two of the EXACT SAME ITEM, he claims both. Eg. yesterday on a ride on scooter, he was riding and screaming at the other child that the OTHER scooter was "MINE" as well.

Only child, they are on board but since they have no comparison they see it as normal (which is it, but this is the worst I have ever seen) . Eg. yesterday Mom came to pick up in sunglasses. He screamed "MINE" and attempted to take them. She had to stop him, pry them out of his hands and say "NO. These are MOMMY'S. Your sunglasses are BLUE and they are in the car."

This describes my oldest son. I tried it all, ignoring, redirecting. I wish I had better advice, but I don't. He eventually grew out of it, but it really is no fun!

At the time he was my only child, and I had been doing daycare for a while. I have no idea what triggered it. Hope it passes quickly for you!:hug:

[daycarediva]

I just read through all of those threads! I am armed with some ammo for tomorrow-

a bin of toys that are only his.
positive restatement of the facts. "YES! That's YOUR TOY. THAT toy is SUE'S!"
toy reduction.

Today three kids were building during centers, they were using all of the blocks on the entire block shelf. ONE child wasn't building. She was on 'guard duty' for this child! They even made up a code word for him!

This child was in the sensory center, and despite my ah-mazing sensory options this week, he was eyeing them playing blocks and saying mine he wasn't really enjoying his play at all. I was right next to him the entire time as he was ready to bolt to take those blocks.

I told him "Joe, it's your turn at THIS center with Sue. When we are done here, you may move to the blocks NEXT for a turn." and then he played in the sensory table saying "Pay bocks nex. MINE box." on repeat until it was time to change. No amount of distraction (and I'm taking foam hand pumps, hand mixers, insect fossils/sand, dinosaurs. NOTHING could get him to refocus that energy)

The second the timer went off, he stormed over to their center and I just stopped him before he barreled over a kid to get those 'box'.

PHEW.

[Blackcat31]

I just read through all of those threads! I am armed with some ammo for tomorrow-

a bin of toys that are only his.
positive restatement of the facts. "YES! That's YOUR TOY. THAT toy is SUE'S!"
toy reduction.

Today three kids were building during centers, they were using all of the blocks on the entire block shelf. ONE child wasn't building. She was on 'guard duty' for this child! They even made up a code word for him!

This child was in the sensory center, and despite my ah-mazing sensory options this week, he was eyeing them playing blocks and saying mine he wasn't really enjoying his play at all. I was right next to him the entire time as he was ready to bolt to take those blocks.

I told him "Joe, it's your turn at THIS center with Sue. When we are done here, you may move to the blocks NEXT for a turn." and then he played in the sensory table saying "Pay bocks nex. MINE box." on repeat until it was time to change. No amount of distraction (and I'm taking foam hand pumps, hand mixers, insect fossils/sand, dinosaurs. NOTHING could get him to refocus that energy)

The second the timer went off, he stormed over to their center and I just stopped him before he barreled over a kid to get those 'box'.

PHEW.

I read through those threads too before posting them and thought there was a bunch of great info to be gleaned from them! I am so happy they were useful!

If they still don't product any positive results, I'd recommend giving Nan a call....she's GREAT with how to manage "mine" kids.

[Josiegirl]

When we get into battles about Mine, I'll come right out and tell them all that 'NO, these are MY toys that I bought for all of you so I can share with you and you can have fun together.' I might have to repeat it a few times, even reiterating that I can share them OR I can take them away.
I like the idea of 'his only' bin of toys. Plus you could set him up on his own blanket area that he cannot leave and no one else can enter. Try it every single time he goes over the top.