Cold Sandwich Meal Alternative?

[Angelmichelle]

We have a 4 year old DCG who started a little over week and a half ago full time. She is a very picky eater and will only eat one or two components of a meal or snack, if we're lucky; and her tastes will change from day-to-day. For example, this morning for breakfast she ate all of her cheese omelette and a few grapes but last week when we had cheese omelettes she refused and only ate a half a slice of plain honey wheat toast. I've been worried about her not getting enough and being hungry.
Thankfully, Friday we had the first breakthrough! We had egg salad sandwiches for lunch and DCG ate 2 full sandwiches (cut in halves). I told Mom about it at pickup and she was ecstatic. This was the first meal since starting that she ate EVERYTHING.
This morning at drop-off mom handed me a tupperware bowl filled with chicken salad. She requested I give it to her daughter in lieu of the chicken and black bean roll-ups listed on the menu for lunch. She said DCG doesn't care for beans or spinach tortilla wraps. I agreed to just this once, mainly because Monday is DCG's late day and she's here until almost 6. I also told her it couldn't be an ongoing thing and we need to come up with another plan since it's the daycare's responsibility to provide all meals and snacks. There was enough to share and we made sandwiches for DCG and another part-time DCG who doesn't normally eat the roll-ups.
This evening I received a message from DCM praising us for giving her daughter the sandwich. She said her daughter was very excited about coming back; this is the first time she's been so excited and says she can't wait to go back to school tomorrow, DCM writes. Then DCM asked if I was willing to offer tuna, egg or chicken salad sandwiches daily as an alternative to the main course for lunch. She says that her daughter loves mayonnaise, especially in egg and chicken salad and will eat every day if offered. She volunteered to continue making it herself to bring in, including enough for other kids, or paying extra to offset the reimbursement I'd forfeit from the food program if I was willing to accommodate them. Mom also mentioned that the school she works at also get reimbursement from the government for food but has cold sandwiches as an alternative for the kids who don't care for the hot lunch offering, so she thinks maybe the same applies to daycares. She's a very nice lady and doesn't come off rude at all, so I almost want to go out of my way to accommodate her. We've never had this request before, although I can see the value in it. It really wouldn't be that difficult to mix up a batch of tuna or chicken salad a couple days at a time to keep on hand for sandwiches as an alternative. Egg salad is a little more time-intensive and stinky, but can also be done as a treat... Even PB&Jam could be made ahead and put in the fridge. Does anyone on the food program offer a daily cold sandwich alternative? We are a large group, operating in two shifts, so any given day we have a number of kids who will opt out of different components of a meal (they have to try at least a bite) and a lot goes to waste. Maybe a cold sandwich offering will cut back on some of the wastefulness and insure fuller bellies...? Before they go bad the extras could easily be given to the school-agers for an additional (non-reimbursed) "after school snack" since their appetites are insatiable, anyway. I can see how this could work out well. I already have a call into my food rep for clarification and to see if that's even permissible but it's after hours so I just left a message.

[NillaWafers]

Meh, I wouldn't cater to her pickiness. If she is hungry she will eat. If she is hungry after a meal, too bad so sad.

I wouldn't let mom bring food from home if that's my policy, either. Mom seems to be enabling the pickiness by catering to her. She can do that at home if she wants, but it doesn't need to continue while she's in your care.

Maybe I'm a big meanie but I would hate to be making like 50 different meals for the picky eaters. I have a kid who won't eat peanut butter, the most I'll do is just not make him the sandwich and give him the rest of the meal (and that's just to save food!).

[Ariana]

Catering to food aversion is never a good idea. The child will end up never getting a chance to try new things and then disordered eating can begin. I would also encourage trying new things for nutritional content. Eating the same thing all the time means the child is missing out on valuable nutrients found in other foods. If you hadn't tried the egg salad sandwiches and omellettes etc you never would have known what she liked. I would keep trying new foods with her. I currently have a dcg who is very picky but she eats things at my house she won't eat at home and she has started eating certain foods she never would have in the beginning. I read somewhere that it can take up to 12 exposures to a food before a child will start eating it so keep that in mind.

I would let mom know my reasoning behind it. At this age developing a wide variety of textures and tastes is a huge benefit for healthy eating later. Her current pickiness might come from mom serving the same things over and over. In my opinion trying new foods is very important at this age.

[CityGarden]

First let me warn you that I have very mixed feelings with this situation and it's a subject I am passionate about....

Please stop viewing dcg as a picky eater and treat her the same as everyone else in your program. DCG will either be hungry or not hungry. When she is hungry she will eat. Very few children will starve themselves due to only eating the limited favorites and those who do have generally crossed into using food as a form of attention seeking / power play / etc. which is an entirely different issue. Do not give this attention especially in front of the dcg.... if she does not eat pick up her plate and serve her at the next meal/snack/ etc.

I would feed all the children the same foods all of the time unless an allergy / religious reason was present. That said as providers it is great to look at what the dcks like and add those favorites into the regular rotation. (i.e. adding chicken salad sandwiches for all once a week). I would be careful of having back up offerings then you run the risk of every child holding out for the potential "something better" back up. My daughter's preschool served breakfast and afternoon snacks ---- she LOVED the meals and it was one of the reasons she liked going to school so yes you want your meals to be liked by the children but you don't want to set yourself up as a personal chef either.

Now that I have said that, I would be rather annoyed to be in DCMs shoes. I know many providers on here don't allow outside food but as a mom I am not impressed by the food guidelines that are heavily sponsored by big business. In our home we eat 100% local and almost entirely organic and non-processed that is hard to ask for in a group setting so while I view meals being offered as a nice perk to parents I find it sad that it is required over a lunch made with love by mom or dad. In this case I would say it is good because mom is enabling dcg to be a picky eater which is not good for the child long run but it puts a negative feeling toward the food program that this is even an issue.

[Josiegirl]

I would try a compromise of sorts. I don't know how many children you're talking about here but I could see how having 1 mom doing this could become a huge problem if other moms joined in and offered, ya know?
I would do as suggested and find foods this girl likes, offer them along with other foods she may/may not eat. That's what I do with my extremely picky ones. If she refuses something one week, yet eats it happily the next, it could be a control issue or maybe she just wasn't in the mood at the time. Either way, she wouldn't get catered to at my house, not to that extent.
I try to keep in mind how *I* would be or feel if I went to work every day and had to eat what was supplied or not at all. I probably wouldn't like it and I'm not picky by any means. So it can be quite a challenge for kids who don't have quite the taste experience we do.
I used to be of the mindset where if kids ate then great, if not then they'll eat again in a couple hours and won't starve. BUT I know also what hungry kids are capable of. And their moods can ruin everybody's whole day. So now I try to offer things I know they'll eat to some extent. But I never offer 2 different main courses, because pretty soon that will be refused. Give them an inch, KWIM?
Maybe you could give it a try and see how it goes, for a month or so?? As much as we'd love to please everybody, sometimes it's just not possible in group care.

[childcaremom]

I wouldn't do it. Period.

Meals are not a battle here. You eat what is served or you don't. I don't make a huge deal out of it. If a child is hungry, they will eat. If they aren't, then snack is in a few hours.

Parents know this signing on so I wouldn't even entertain the idea.

eta: I have the same policy with my own kids. Eat or don't eat. But you will sit at the table and have a friendly conversation until everyone is finished. I am not a short order cook.

[Blackcat31]

Mom is catering to the child's picky eating.

NOT a good idea in ANY way shape or form.

What is it teaching the child?

What's next?

Don't allow others to play with X toy because DCG gets upset....
Don't go outside on Tuesdays because DCG only likes playing outside on Wednesdays.....
Use only primary colored crayons because DCG likes only those colors....
Don't wear leggings because DCG likes jeans....

As adults its our job to expose kids to different experiences, ideas and activities and this includes meals and snacks

[Thriftylady]

Not in my home. In my daycare I have all picky eaters. But a huge part of the issue with my kids is they are not offered anything but processed and fast foods. They can eat or be hungry, but it isn't my job to cater to picky, it is my job to serve healthy meals and teach the children to experience new foods.

[CalCare]

Josiegirl's comment reminded me: I threw away the sandwich and drink my mom packed Every Single Day from like 4th to 8th grade. I didn't like any of it: cold cuts, american cheese, thick globs of mayo, or squeeze-its . And there were zero second chances. It was 1-2 bowls of lucky charms in the morning, nothing aaaaall day and nothing after school 'till dinner! And I did great (I was skinny back then ). Wish I could have that kind of will power today!... Oh and you can bet I didn't complain once - thus the years of tossed lunches.

[daycarediva]

I have a dcm that I am allowing to bring in ONE component to replace something at lunch. Dck is beyond picky- I am going to guess SPD/SID, there are about 4 foods she will consistently eat, and 4 foods that are 'mood depending'. She is also losing weight due to it. (although she was on the heavy side to begin with, because her 4 consistent foods are grain, and she overeats them, and she snacks on them between meals) After speaking to the parents on numerous occasions, they finally sought help. The parents are working with me, and the pedi, and seeking evals.

I am allowing this ONLY because a nutritionist suggested that there would be less anxiety at meals IF she had one 'familiar' food served to her. We are giving it a month trial.

It is almost the end of the month- and dcg has not tried any new foods. The parents are giving the correct serving size now as well (eg not 25 crackers, just 5) I'll be honest- it's a pain. The parents forgot once, and had to be sent back home to get the food. It hasn't improved her eating habits, nor has it reduced her anxiety. She polishes off the 5 crackers, loses it, and has to be excused from the table.

Our food program rep said it would be allowed, and that I could claim her at meals, IF I had enough components to serve her AND offered her the food. I have the nutritionists note on file as well.

[Josiegirl]

I had starving dcks by 10:00 this a.m.,(well, then you should've eaten your breakfast I served you at 8:15!! ). So I told the 5 of them they could have cucumber slices because that was going to be served at lunch. My fussiest dcg kept wanting crackers, I said no I'm offering cucumbers. All 5 sat at the table, she ate 1 sliceand the other 4 polished the cucumber off. Guess she wasn't all that hungry.
Been one of those mornings anyways.

[racemom]

Eating is never a battle here, eat it or don't. I have one newish dcg3, whose parents believe she won't eat at all. Well, since she has been coming here she usually asks for thirds at lunch. There is nothing this girl won't eat, but at the beginning of every meal as I am passing the food around she says she doesn't like every single item we offer, so I tell her just take a little because we have to try everything. Now that she knows I am not going to coddle her, or try to convince her to eat, she eats more than the others. Eating often becomes a control issue for them, and I won't play that game.

[Angelmichelle]

Update for those who are following:
Thank you for the responses. She's new so she hasn't had an opportunity to try everything we offer; we have a 3 week rotating menu that gets changed with the seasons to embrace seasonal produce availability (i.e, pumpkin ravioli with sage brown butter in the fall will be replaced with summer squash and zucchini casserole in the warmer months). We take field trips to the public market a lot in the summer and love trying new tastes of fresh produce. Also, children are encouraged to try at least a small bite of everything at each meal- "how do we know what we like or don't like unless we try it?"
We've had finicky eaters in the past, there's a couple in the group now, but she's here at 7 AM until almost 6 PM and she's very tiny so her eating has concerned me more than some of the other children. Even our most finicky eaters will find something they like in each meal and gobble it up, often asking for more. She didn't eat all of ANYTHING until Friday. It's very weird. Last Wednesday we made English muffin pizzas, a group favorite. Each kid made their own and we had a plethora of toppings to choose from. DCG refused to eat any toppings on her pizza and only nibbled around the edges of the plain toasted English muffin. She won't even allow us to put butter, cashew butter or jam on her breads. She won't drink all of her milk, she sips water only when very thirsty. Some days she will drink apple or orange juice if offered, some days she simply won't.
All that aside, I heard from the food rep this morning. She said it's a great idea to offer a sandwich alternative for lunch. She said some other homes do it, usually with PB&J or meat/cheese and crackers. She advised that if we choose to go that route, as long as it's listed on the monthly menu ahead of time as an available alternate, then it's reimbursable. She believes it encourages independence when kids are given limited choices.
It's probably a moot point, though. Today DCG screamed bloody murder from the time she was dropped off all the way through circle time and snack. Our assistant finally called DCD after we couldn't reach mom and he said DCG had a rough night, she fell off the top bunk last evening and probably is sore. DCD picked up early and when he came he gave me the heads up that he and his wife are discussing him staying home with the kids because their child care co-pay will be too costly for them in the summer when the older two are out of school.

[Thriftylady]

Update for those who are following:
Thank you for the responses. She's new so she hasn't had an opportunity to try everything we offer; we have a 3 week rotating menu that gets changed with the seasons to embrace seasonal produce availability (i.e, pumpkin ravioli with sage brown butter in the fall will be replaced with summer squash and zucchini casserole in the warmer months). We take field trips to the public market a lot in the summer and love trying new tastes of fresh produce. Also, children are encouraged to try at least a small bite of everything at each meal- "how do we know what we like or don't like unless we try it?"
We've had finicky eaters in the past, there's a couple in the group now, but she's here at 7 AM until almost 6 PM and she's very tiny so her eating has concerned me more than some of the other children. Even our most finicky eaters will find something they like in each meal and gobble it up, often asking for more. She didn't eat all of ANYTHING until Friday. It's very weird. Last Wednesday we made English muffin pizzas, a group favorite. Each kid made their own and we had a plethora of toppings to choose from. DCG refused to eat any toppings on her pizza and only nibbled around the edges of the plain toasted English muffin. She won't even allow us to put butter, cashew butter or jam on her breads. She won't drink all of her milk, she sips water only when very thirsty. Some days she will drink apple or orange juice if offered, some days she simply won't.
All that aside, I heard from the food rep this morning. She said it's a great idea to offer a sandwich alternative for lunch. She said some other homes do it, usually with PB&J or meat/cheese and crackers. She advised that if we choose to go that route, as long as it's listed on the monthly menu ahead of time as an available alternate, then it's reimbursable. She believes it encourages independence when kids are given limited choices.
It's probably a moot point, though. Today DCG screamed bloody murder from the time she was dropped off all the way through circle time and snack. Our assistant finally called DCD after we couldn't reach mom and he said DCG had a rough night, she fell off the top bunk last evening and probably is sore. DCD picked up early and when he came he gave me the heads up that he and his wife are discussing him staying home with the kids because their child care co-pay will be too costly for them in the summer when the older two are out of school.

There is just no way I would do that. My kids would pick a sandwich and nothing else every day. They wouldn't touch a veggie if I offered a choice. Each provider is different, but back before I knew better than to offer special, I found you give a parent one "special" and they soon want their child's whole day to be special.

[NeedaVaca]

I agree with the others that I wouldn't do it, it's just not beneficial to the child in the long run. I have to wonder what the parents have been feeding her, they are the ones that most likely created this problem in the first place. Also, if she has only been in your care for a week and a half she really hasn't even been through the adjustment period. It takes a while for some kids to adjust and I don't personally think it's been long enough.