Losing My Kids One by One

[Ariana]

***Warning! Long wandering thought process ahead! ***

I wonder if the lack of consistency is connected to the trend we have now- the "fear of missing out". We always are on the look out for something better. So it may be a we think another daycare is better or a different type of program or if I were a SAHM instead- and keep the kids home, or if I took some classes and send the kids to daycare part time, or maybe if I was working things would be better. I feel like part of the inconsistency and the fear of missing out comes from our (mostly moms but dads too) roles not being defined like they used to. So, we don't really know what we think is best or right. I myself, constantly (more than daily!) vacillate between really committing to school, fcc, work at a preschool, etc. I don't like being dependent on dh. I don't like feeling unvalued for the work I do as a parent (as if it isn't anywhere near as useful to our family as bringing in income). I don't like having little education. So, I constantly want these different situations that seem better. And, so, I am always thinking about switching up how my children are cared for- they have gone to parent child co-ops, enrolled in preschools where I sub, and attended an amazing fcc, AND stayed home with me when I have dcks! It feels immature, irresponsible, and childish to not commit to a path. At the same time, I always want the best for my kids so I keep trying to figure it out. And, just that act of constantly searching for what is best probably has an ill-effect- because of the inconsistency, etc! I do my best. I guess we all do!
Best of luck Sharlan... Calcare

I think listening to what "society" tells you is what a lot of us do and it gets us down. Society is based on a male point of view which values male type traits like career, drive, ambition and as women some of us don't value that (some men don't either but it is what society deems respectable). This can lead to feelings of worthlessness. I really wanted to be a SAHM but I felt I was worthless without a paycheck so here I am running a daycare and taking care of my kids which I hate.

Now I realize that just because society doesn't value it doesn't mean it is not valuable. I for one think that staying home with your kids gives them the absolute best start in life (unless you are depressed because of the above reasons). If you have the means I wish more parents would choose it, men too (although it is even harder for men to choose it).

Anyway totally Off Topic but wanted to respond. Sharlan I hope things pick up for you. I have problems getting kids these days too. I don't take infants and by 3.5 everyone is going to kindergarten and rarely is there a 2-3 yr old without an infant sibling. I am ready to retire once my last dck leaves in June.

[Mike]

The family and economical changes are making things different now.

It's also because more and more moms are deciding to quit their jobs and stay at home and go into daycare themselves. It used to be common for moms to stay home until their youngest was in school, then lifestyle and cost of living caused more moms to go to work. That of course meant daycare. Eventually, finding daycare got too hard in some areas, so more moms decided to go into that field. Then some areas, like where I currently live, had more daycare providers than was needed, and eventually they start closing.

Most fields have some roller coaster effect over the years. That's where reputation comes in handy. With your experience, you will get more children eventually. You just need to advertise, and for now, enjoy the lower "work load". ::