Tweet
So first off, I have to say that this little boy is a really nice, cute, fun-loving little boy. I've been at this daycare for 2 1/2 months. But lately I can't seem to get him motivated to do ANYTHING. He refuses to do anything. He absolutely refuses to put his shoes on when we go outside. He's always in all the other kids faces. He refuses to eat snack, and then he runs around the snack table shoving toys in other kids faces. He is the class clown and he totally distracts other kids from eating their snacks. The other kids all think he is hilarious. He refuses to help clean up toys, and when we line up to go to the next room he's always bugging the other kids. Whenever I try to talk to him, he just whines and turns away from me. I have no idea what to do with him. All the other kids would listen if it wasn't for him. But I really like him and I think he really connects at times when I've read to him. He really gets into the books and the songs I do with my group. Does anyone have any tips on how I can try to connect better with him and motivate him?
-
-
Here are some more threads on kids who don't listen: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.p...won%27t+listen -
I guess I should mention that I work at a daycare centre, whereas a lot of people on here have home daycares, and I am the newbie there, and I am only working there until September when I go back to uni and start my practicum. Maybe I should talk to my supervisor and ask her for some ideas. I've gotta get over this feeling that I should be able to do this on my own, which is totally stupid because I am still a student and I shouldn't be expected to know how to manage everything because I am still learning!Comment
-
When kids are in a cycle of refusing to listen, there are typically 1 of 2 factors at play. You don't say his age, but old enough to talk is old enough to have an opinion so the first potential factor is that this has become a power struggle. He is going to say "no" because he can.
When there is a power struggle, you take the emotion out of the battle and give the child their options. In the case of going outside, shoes are required. You say, your choices are "Your feet need to be safe outside. You can sit with me here. (No shoes) or put shoes on and go play." You need to act like you don't care either way.
Same with toys. Save some for him to clean up. Then he has a choice. Stay here and clean these or move on to the next fun activity.
The second factor at play here could be attention. You mentioned at the table he is seeking attention from peers by being silly and rowdy. He needs another way to get the same attention from peers, but in a positive way. At the table, I would sit next to hit and model how to talk to peers. Excessive rowdiness earns you an early exit from the table (to the library or drawing table) after the first reminder here. If he's modeling negative behavior, he is going to need a buddy sitting next to him modeling how to appropriately sit at the table.(you or a very mature peer)
Regarding connecting with him, I watched a training webinar recently that said you need to have five positive interactions with a child for every negative/directive statement to develop a positive relationship. That struck me as high as I tried to tally the number of times I told a precocious 18 month old girl to sit on her bottom yesterday but I think the point is to strive for positive interactions with those little ones who make you crazy.
For more resources on preschool and toddler behavior search: csefel.org. They have amazing free resources for teachersComment
-
I agree with spedmommy with taking the emotion out and simply giving 2 choices. Follow through. I also wanted to add to the connecting with him aspect. I always try to look at difficult ones with a super positive eye. It may take a lot more effort than the others, but it's worth it, instead of being frustrated with him. If he is seeking attention, have him put on a show at circle time. And again outside, etc. Even if it's just 5 minutes. Then say that if he has more to show, it has to wait until circle time, or whatever opportunity is next. Be prepared to let everyone have a few minutes to tell a story or "put on a show". But be clear as to the times they CAN. I say a couple times a day, to one in particular, "save it for outside time! I can't wait to see it! (or hear it, etc.)" I have another that learned how to do a cartwheel. So everyday for her showtime outside, she does cartwheel after cartwheel
Long story short, set aside some time to be in the spotlight! They will love it & look forward to it, and over all they will definitely be more pleasant to be around.
Comment
Comment