Tough Going

[mac60]

The last 3 or 4 months have been tough here. From disruptive schedules due to kids going to "real preschool" interferring with my own program, to holding spots for a family for a year only to have them go to part time after 5 months, to screaming babies, to wiping snot on 2 kids for the past several months, to changing blown out diapers for over 5 months, from cleaning puke off my carpet 5 times in the last 6 months and always from the same 2 kids from the same family.....I could go on, I am getting so fed up.

I try to have a preschool program with my 3 preschoolers, but 2 of the 3 go to "real preschool", and the 3rd kid is gone every Wednesday, and it is a real struggle to do what I want to for my prescool activities. I am just ready to quit it, I don't get paid any extra for it anyways.

Snot....I have a now 1 1/2 yr old. He has had snot for over a year...yep...and bad. In December he had tubes in his ears, tonsils and abnoids taken out. I thought for sure he would get better. Nope. Not at all. And he whines and whines and whines...all day all the time. I am not talking a runny nose, but wads of snot that continually are coming down all day every day, and the parents NEVER bring a box of kleenex for him.

Poop....I have a just turned 1 yr old....was on the canned formula/mix with can of water type. For over 6 months, she would have massive poops about 2 to 3 times per day while here and poop out her clothes every time. Well the mom kept saying it was from "teething", NOT! Then, at 11 months, started switching her to milk. OMG, I am pretty sure she is lactose intolerant...or some allergic reaction to milk and the formula she was on. She poops 2 or 3 times a day here, and her bottom is so fire engine red complete with welts on it everyday and she screams every time I change her. About 4 weeks ago, shortly after them switching her to milk, she pooped in the pack in play and it was up her back, in her hair, on hands, all over the pack in play, mesh, etc. Was an absolute horrible horrible mess. I of coarse gave her a bath, had a heck of a time cleaning the pack in play, and told mom that I thought maybe she was having a hard time handling the milk. I have continued to mention to mom the relation of bad poop sore butt to milk. They still continue to give her milk. If they bring me a bottle of milk, I just dump it out. I will no longer give her milk at my house. It does not agree with her for whatever reason. When I don't give her milk, she has normal poops, and by the end of the day, after cremeing her bottom 3 or 4 times throughout the day, her bottom will be much better than when she arrived. Next morning, same sore bottom. I don't know why they are so blind to the correlation of milk/sore bottom/bad poops.Just doesn't make sense they don't get it. All I do know is I am done cleaning those kinds of massive poops and I have proven that it is the formula/milk.

I have had a family for 8 years, they had another baby that is 6 mo old. I saved them a spot their whole pregnancy plus the 3 months mom took off, only for them to now tell me they are going to 3 days per week. I am so flipping pissed. I saved them the spot, turned down other clients during this 11 mo time, and this is what I get. I am so sick of getting burnt in this business. You bend over backwards and do for these families, and this is what I get. Yep, I have cared for the older child 3 different times while mom went vacationing....4 days/then 5 days/then another 4 day trips. And never once did she offer me $5 for doing it....and yes I have learned my lesson. NO MORE.

My biggest problem is.....I am always afraid of pissing them off if I speak up. But why do I think it is ok for parents to disrespect my home, abuse my policies, etc, well, I don't think it is ok, I am just a weiny and don't speak up because of what "might" happen. GRR. And school is cancelled for day 2 today. yuck.

[momofboys]

The last 3 or 4 months have been tough here. From disruptive schedules due to kids going to "real preschool" interferring with my own program, to holding spots for a family for a year only to have them go to part time after 5 months, to screaming babies, to wiping snot on 2 kids for the past several months, to changing blown out diapers for over 5 months, from cleaning puke off my carpet 5 times in the last 6 months and always from the same 2 kids from the same family.....I could go on, I am getting so fed up.

I try to have a preschool program with my 3 preschoolers, but 2 of the 3 go to "real preschool", and the 3rd kid is gone every Wednesday, and it is a real struggle to do what I want to for my prescool activities. I am just ready to quit it, I don't get paid any extra for it anyways.

Snot....I have a now 1 1/2 yr old. He has had snot for over a year...yep...and bad. In December he had tubes in his ears, tonsils and abnoids taken out. I thought for sure he would get better. Nope. Not at all. And he whines and whines and whines...all day all the time. I am not talking a runny nose, but wads of snot that continually are coming down all day every day, and the parents NEVER bring a box of kleenex for him.

Poop....I have a just turned 1 yr old....was on the canned formula/mix with can of water type. For over 6 months, she would have massive poops about 2 to 3 times per day while here and poop out her clothes every time. Well the mom kept saying it was from "teething", NOT! Then, at 11 months, started switching her to milk. OMG, I am pretty sure she is lactose intolerant...or some allergic reaction to milk and the formula she was on. She poops 2 or 3 times a day here, and her bottom is so fire engine red complete with welts on it everyday and she screams every time I change her. About 4 weeks ago, shortly after them switching her to milk, she pooped in the pack in play and it was up her back, in her hair, on hands, all over the pack in play, mesh, etc. Was an absolute horrible horrible mess. I of coarse gave her a bath, had a heck of a time cleaning the pack in play, and told mom that I thought maybe she was having a hard time handling the milk. I have continued to mention to mom the relation of bad poop sore butt to milk. They still continue to give her milk. If they bring me a bottle of milk, I just dump it out. I will no longer give her milk at my house. It does not agree with her for whatever reason. When I don't give her milk, she has normal poops, and by the end of the day, after cremeing her bottom 3 or 4 times throughout the day, her bottom will be much better than when she arrived. Next morning, same sore bottom. I don't know why they are so blind to the correlation of milk/sore bottom/bad poops.Just doesn't make sense they don't get it. All I do know is I am done cleaning those kinds of massive poops and I have proven that it is the formula/milk.

I have had a family for 8 years, they had another baby that is 6 mo old. I saved them a spot their whole pregnancy plus the 3 months mom took off, only for them to now tell me they are going to 3 days per week. I am so flipping pissed. I saved them the spot, turned down other clients during this 11 mo time, and this is what I get. I am so sick of getting burnt in this business. You bend over backwards and do for these families, and this is what I get. Yep, I have cared for the older child 3 different times while mom went vacationing....4 days/then 5 days/then another 4 day trips. And never once did she offer me $5 for doing it....and yes I have learned my lesson. NO MORE.

My biggest problem is.....I am always afraid of pissing them off if I speak up. But why do I think it is ok for parents to disrespect my home, abuse my policies, etc, well, I don't think it is ok, I am just a weiny and don't speak up because of what "might" happen. GRR. And school is cancelled for day 2 today. yuck.

Just one clarification. . . you provided FREE care for the mom to go on vacation?!?! Did I read/understand that correctly!? Youa re much too kind!

[mac60]

Go ahead and smack me...... Yes. Seriously, I thought she would of offered me something....I am a fool and a ****er at times.

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

I understand your frustrations....some days I want to give this all up....really, I daydream to just coming home to MY kids ONLY. Then I think about my 5 and 7 year old being in daycare if I worked outside of the home and I just don't want that. It's so hard, I wish we could make it on one income sometimes, but that's not going to happen.

I have a hard time speaking up too, yet it gets you burnt in the end. I have much more of a backbone now than I used to, but in this business you have to be firm with some parents.

[momofboys]

Go ahead and smack me...... Yes. Seriously, I thought she would of offered me something....I am a fool and a ****er at times.

Wow, MArie you are a saint & you deserve much better. That mom was a jerk to not pay you something, offer you a gift card or SOMETHING to show her appreciation. That is so rotten I feel awful for you. I think you need to sit down & take it easy today with a nice cup of coffee or hot chocolate & do something nice for YOU! Then you need to really form a plan of action as to how you are going to TAKE CHARGE of your business & set some of these parents straight.

[SilverSabre25]

That girl who can't tolerate the milk--you NEED to tell the parents that she's allergic. Does she have eczema or anything? That's not okay for her to keep having something that so clearly makes her so sick! Her little tummy probably hurts horribly, too! I'd be half tempted to threaten to call CPS if they don't start giving her something else! Soy, almond, hemp, coconut...there are LOTS of options and she needs one!!

[momofsix]

The last 3 or 4 months have been tough here. From disruptive schedules due to kids going to "real preschool" interferring with my own program, to holding spots for a family for a year only to have them go to part time after 5 months, to screaming babies, to wiping snot on 2 kids for the past several months, to changing blown out diapers for over 5 months, from cleaning puke off my carpet 5 times in the last 6 months and always from the same 2 kids from the same family.....I could go on, I am getting so fed up.

I try to have a preschool program with my 3 preschoolers, but 2 of the 3 go to "real preschool", and the 3rd kid is gone every Wednesday, and it is a real struggle to do what I want to for my prescool activities. I am just ready to quit it, I don't get paid any extra for it anyways.

Snot....I have a now 1 1/2 yr old. He has had snot for over a year...yep...and bad. In December he had tubes in his ears, tonsils and abnoids taken out. I thought for sure he would get better. Nope. Not at all. And he whines and whines and whines...all day all the time. I am not talking a runny nose, but wads of snot that continually are coming down all day every day, and the parents NEVER bring a box of kleenex for him.

Poop....I have a just turned 1 yr old....was on the canned formula/mix with can of water type. For over 6 months, she would have massive poops about 2 to 3 times per day while here and poop out her clothes every time. Well the mom kept saying it was from "teething", NOT! Then, at 11 months, started switching her to milk. OMG, I am pretty sure she is lactose intolerant...or some allergic reaction to milk and the formula she was on. She poops 2 or 3 times a day here, and her bottom is so fire engine red complete with welts on it everyday and she screams every time I change her. About 4 weeks ago, shortly after them switching her to milk, she pooped in the pack in play and it was up her back, in her hair, on hands, all over the pack in play, mesh, etc. Was an absolute horrible horrible mess. I of coarse gave her a bath, had a heck of a time cleaning the pack in play, and told mom that I thought maybe she was having a hard time handling the milk. I have continued to mention to mom the relation of bad poop sore butt to milk. They still continue to give her milk. If they bring me a bottle of milk, I just dump it out. I will no longer give her milk at my house. It does not agree with her for whatever reason. When I don't give her milk, she has normal poops, and by the end of the day, after cremeing her bottom 3 or 4 times throughout the day, her bottom will be much better than when she arrived. Next morning, same sore bottom. I don't know why they are so blind to the correlation of milk/sore bottom/bad poops.Just doesn't make sense they don't get it. All I do know is I am done cleaning those kinds of massive poops and I have proven that it is the formula/milk.

I have had a family for 8 years, they had another baby that is 6 mo old. I saved them a spot their whole pregnancy plus the 3 months mom took off, only for them to now tell me they are going to 3 days per week. I am so flipping pissed. I saved them the spot, turned down other clients during this 11 mo time, and this is what I get. I am so sick of getting burnt in this business. You bend over backwards and do for these families, and this is what I get. Yep, I have cared for the older child 3 different times while mom went vacationing....4 days/then 5 days/then another 4 day trips. And never once did she offer me $5 for doing it....and yes I have learned my lesson. NO MORE.

My biggest problem is.....I am always afraid of pissing them off if I speak up. But why do I think it is ok for parents to disrespect my home, abuse my policies, etc, well, I don't think it is ok, I am just a weiny and don't speak up because of what "might" happen. GRR. And school is cancelled for day 2 today. yuck.

UGH! No words of wisdom from me, but you do need to start doing what it takes to take care of YOU...whatever that might be! Hugs going yo9ur way!
PS that's very easy for me to SAY, but like you I'm afraid too

[mac60]

I have mentioned more than a couple times to the mom about the correlation of milk/bad poop/sore butt, to no avail.

[SandeeAR]

I think with the spot you held that they are cutting back to 3 days a week, I would tell them you are limited on full and part time spots. That all your part time slots are full. That the spot you held for them was a full time spot. Tell them they have a choice of paying full time or as soon as you can get another full time child, you will have to give them notice. If they really value you as a caregiver (sounds like they don't), they will pay full time, even if they don't use it daily.

[misol]

I think with the spot you held that they are cutting back to 3 days a week, I would tell them you are limited on full and part time spots. That all your part time slots are full. That the spot you held for them was a full time spot. Tell them they have a choice of paying full time or as soon as you can get another full time child, you will have to give them notice. If they really value you as a caregiver (sounds like they don't), they will pay full time, even if they don't use it daily.

I think this sounds like a great and fair idea

[melskids]

I think with the spot you held that they are cutting back to 3 days a week, I would tell them you are limited on full and part time spots. That all your part time slots are full. That the spot you held for them was a full time spot. Tell them they have a choice of paying full time or as soon as you can get another full time child, you will have to give them notice. If they really value you as a caregiver (sounds like they don't), they will pay full time, even if they don't use it daily.

yes!!!! agree!!!

That girl who can't tolerate the milk--you NEED to tell the parents that she's allergic. Does she have eczema or anything? That's not okay for her to keep having something that so clearly makes her so sick! Her little tummy probably hurts horribly, too! I'd be half tempted to threaten to call CPS if they don't start giving her something else! Soy, almond, hemp, coconut...there are LOTS of options and she needs one!!

and yes to that too!!!

[missnikki]

SandeeAR hit it on the nose. They took the first step in trying to disrespect your program, and the ball is in your court. Go ahead and get what you deserve from it. They must have expected you to let it slide.

About the milk, I would just tell them that starting next week, milk will no longer be served to her. You will return to them any milk brought in. You will provide an alternative and apply the cost to the bill if they do not provide it. You know there is a direct correlation between her suffering and her milk intake, and yo are not going to let it continue. (End on a positive note) She's just such a joy when she isn't bothered by a terrible rash.

[Blackcat31]

i think with the spot you held that they are cutting back to 3 days a week, i would tell them you are limited on full and part time spots. That all your part time slots are full. That the spot you held for them was a full time spot. Tell them they have a choice of paying full time or as soon as you can get another full time child, you will have to give them notice. If they really value you as a caregiver (sounds like they don't), they will pay full time, even if they don't use it daily.

like!!!!!!

[lvt77]

I used to be exactly like you…Always wanted to please everyone else and was afraid to speak up. It took me getting really sick from all of the stress that I ended up in the hospital. After that happened, everything turned around. It was sad that it took me ending up in the hospital to realize that I was letting everyone walk all over me.
After getting taken advantage of so many times, I realized that it was my fault that all of the matters blew out of control. It was my husband who made me realize how much these families needed me, just as I needed them. That no amount of stress and drama was worth it, no matter how much one was willing to pay.
I had a parent hand book written and signed by all the parents, but was not even enforcing it? After my release from the hospital, I had to revise my handbook and tell parents I meant business. I had to put my foot down. It sounds like you might need to do the same.
In the end, this is your business, and if people don’t like your rules or policies, then you really don’t want them there anyways. There are always people out there that are going to appreciate you and respect you for all that you are and all that you do……. DON’T sell yourself short EVER!
You give the best; you only deserve the best in return….

[Michelle]

I had the same thing happen with the milk /very bad smelling,runny, poop issue
It's kinda sad but some parents don't want to buy the lactaid or similar alternative because its more expensive .
I just buy it for the child in my care and send it home with them on Fri.

maybe you can do this and say" I know this milk is expensive but I hate to see her suffer , so I am willing to let you have this milk for the weekend " maybe they will get embarrassed and start buying it for her? I don't know , but it's worth a shot.

I once tried to get a parent of an autistic child to try that special no milk-no white flour diet and she laughed in my face.
So, I don't know... It's a good thing that little girl is in your loving care, she is lucky she has you because you care about her skin and her health.
Let us know hoe it goes,
hugs