Is This a Terrible Thing to Do?

[Indoorvoice]

I have written a few threads about downsizing recently, so I apologize this is a bit of a continuation. I have been gradually downsizing my current group and want to be down to only 2 families by June. Im having a baby soon and I told one family that takes summers off anyway that I needed to start my maternity leave early so they should start looking for care. I did this a few months ago giving them plenty of notice thinking they would just find someone they like better and I wouldn't have to "term". Well since they take summers off anyway dcm is seeing it as she will only need to find alternate care for 5 weeks before she is out for the summer and then she will be coming back to me in the fall Unfortunately, I'm not wanting them to come back and of course no daycare wants to take them knowing it is only temporary. I was originally thinking of just emailing her this summer and telling her that due to having a new baby, I'm realizing I can't take as many kids in the fall. Is that the coward way out? Now that she's having trouble finding care, I'm feeling bad about this and am thinking I should tell her now that I don't plan on taking them back, but I feel like this makes me look bad too since I already fibbed about needing to start my maternity leave early. Help, how do I get out of this? If it helps, they have been a nightmare family.

[Thriftylady]

Well I wouldn't say you fibbed exactly. I mean you did, but she doesn't need to know that. I would just tell her that you have been thinking it over and feel like you are going to need to downsize after the baby and she should go ahead and look for permanent care. You don't have to tell her it was the plan all along.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I have written a few threads about downsizing recently, so I apologize this is a bit of a continuation. I have been gradually downsizing my current group and want to be down to only 2 families by June. Im having a baby soon and I told one family that takes summers off anyway that I needed to start my maternity leave early so they should start looking for care. I did this a few months ago giving them plenty of notice thinking they would just find someone they like better and I wouldn't have to "term". Well since they take summers off anyway dcm is seeing it as she will only need to find alternate care for 5 weeks before she is out for the summer and then she will be coming back to me in the fall Unfortunately, I'm not wanting them to come back and of course no daycare wants to take them knowing it is only temporary. I was originally thinking of just emailing her this summer and telling her that due to having a new baby, I'm realizing I can't take as many kids in the fall. Is that the coward way out? Now that she's having trouble finding care, I'm feeling bad about this and am thinking I should tell her now that I don't plan on taking them back, but I feel like this makes me look bad too since I already fibbed about needing to start my maternity leave early. Help, how do I get out of this? If it helps, they have been a nightmare family.

I don't think you can be that open ended if what you WANT is to end the agreement. You should just tell her that you can no longer provide care as of XX date. Problem solved

[Alisyn]

I would be straight up and tell her so she can find another provider.

[Ariana]

I would be upfront right away because if she is in temporary care she will end up needing to find 2 providers instead of one. I would just tell her that you and your husband were talking and you have decided to downscale further and won't be taking her child. "it was a difficult decision and I know it is hard to find alternate care but this is important for my family...I will assist you in any way in finding new care arrangements". I find being over apologetic and offering help goes a long way in softening the blow even if you are not being entirely truthful about being actually sorry

[MunchkinWrangler]

I would definitely be clear about your intentions. Just mention that you must not have been clear in your communication and they misunderstood that you are closing their spot, permanently. I wouldn't go into to any other detail other than the fact that you are lowering you numbers and that you are doing it because you are going to care for your new baby. (Congrats!) Let them know it is nothing personal and you can even use the fact that they have summers off to why you thought it would be easier for them to find care.
Remember, it is not your fault that they are having a hard time finding care because they take summers off. That is their personal issue, not yours.