Difficult Daycare Provider

[sleepinghart]

I want to make sure there are no misunderstandings about what I'm saying before I even start; so first I want to say that I am not taking up for the provider in what I'm about to say. I'm simply trying to wrap my head around why any provider would do something as extreme, or as wrong; I am not excusing her, she was wrong in what she did. I am also really confused about a number of things so I'm gonna ask and hopefully OP can clear them up.

Usually, when someone does something wrong, and they know they've done wrong, they try to hide it. What's weird here is that this provider didn't; instead she was very open about it and acted like it was no big deal. She texted your Mom asking what pharmacy you used(which that is an admission in itself). So I'm thinking that she herself thought it was no big deal. You keep saying that you two were friends, and your child had been in her care for 1.5 years, so I'm just wondering if in her mind she thought she was doing you a favor(maybe a favor as a 'friend', not a dc provider)...even thinking you'd be appreciative maybe?
Another thing you keep mentioning is that you yourself took your child to the MD about one week before the provider took her- Did you communicate with her about this? Did the symptoms that caused you to take her to the MD in the first place continue after the visit? Had the provider been saying anything to you about your child's symptoms or voiced any concerns over her health? :confused: Once again, not that any of the answers to these questions make what the provider did right...She was wrong. Just trying to wrap my head around the whole situation & her thinking...Not that her thinking makes her right because it doesn't...She was wrong.

With regards to those texts or emails she sent you about being sick or having cancer- that in itself tells me a lot about this person. Not only were they very unprofessional, they were also the work of an unstable mind. ...IMHO.

About the 2K in fees she's claiming you owe...Is that late fees only or late + other fees? If so, what kind? How many times have you been late? Do any of the papers that you do have explain any fees she charges? I'm also curious as to why you didn't tell the provider immediately, or at least soon after, that you were not bringing your kids back to her because if I'm understanding correctly, after you found out what she did you didn't say anything to her you just kept your kids mostly some place else for a week:confused:?

When you've questioned her about why she took your child to the doctor, what does she say? Same with the fees...When you ask what they are for, what does she say:confused:? Also, about the term notice- A 2-week notice is pretty standard practice so it's not that far of a stretch to guess that she most likely had one.

[Thriftylady]

I want to make sure there are no misunderstandings about what I'm saying before I even start; so first I want to say that I am not taking up for the provider in what I'm about to say. I'm simply trying to wrap my head around why any provider would do something as extreme, or as wrong; I am not excusing her, she was wrong in what she did. I am also really confused about a number of things so I'm gonna ask and hopefully OP can clear them up.

Usually, when someone does something wrong, and they know they've done wrong, they try to hide it. What's weird here is that this provider didn't; instead she was very open about it and acted like it was no big deal. She texted your Mom asking what pharmacy you used(which that is an admission in itself). So I'm thinking that she herself thought it was no big deal. You keep saying that you two were friends, and your child had been in her care for 1.5 years, so I'm just wondering if in her mind she thought she was doing you a favor(maybe a favor as a 'friend', not a dc provider)...even thinking you'd be appreciative maybe?
Another thing you keep mentioning is that you yourself took your child to the MD about one week before the provider took her- Did you communicate with her about this? Did the symptoms that caused you to take her to the MD in the first place continue after the visit? Had the provider been saying anything to you about your child's symptoms or voiced any concerns over her health? :confused: Once again, not that any of the answers to these questions make what the provider did right...She was wrong. Just trying to wrap my head around the whole situation & her thinking...Not that her thinking makes her right because it doesn't...She was wrong.

With regards to those texts or emails she sent you about being sick or having cancer- that in itself tells me a lot about this person. Not only were they very unprofessional, they were also the work of an unstable mind. ...IMHO.

About the 2K in fees she's claiming you owe...Is that late fees only or late + other fees? If so, what kind? How many times have you been late? Do any of the papers that you do have explain any fees she charges? I'm also curious as to why you didn't tell the provider immediately, or at least soon after, that you were not bringing your kids back to her because if I'm understanding correctly, after you found out what she did you didn't say anything to her you just kept your kids mostly some place else for a week:confused:?

When you've questioned her about why she took your child to the doctor, what does she say? Same with the fees...When you ask what they are for, what does she say:confused:? Also, about the term notice- A 2-week notice is pretty standard practice so it's not that far of a stretch to guess that she most likely had one.

The part I bolded is very true, but I am wondering if it would stand up in a court if the OP's facts are right. Regardless when it comes to the safety of the child if the OP has all the facts right, two weeks is a small price to pay!

[Unregistered]

Are the late fees for late pu or late payment?

[Josiegirl]

The part I bolded is very true, but I am wondering if it would stand up in a court if the OP's facts are right. Regardless when it comes to the safety of the child if the OP has all the facts right, two weeks is a small price to pay!

There should be a clause in that contract stating if the provider loses her mind 2 week term is not expected.
If I'm understanding all OP has said, the provider has done some extremely questionable things and would have a terribly hard time in court proving she's on the up and up, KWIM? I know OP's child comes first and foremost in this situation, of course. But that provider should not have gotten another penny as soon as she was caught trying to get a prescription for OP's dd.

[Thriftylady]

There should be a clause in that contract stating if the provider loses her mind 2 week term is not expected.
If I'm understanding all OP has said, the provider has done some extremely questionable things and would have a terribly hard time in court proving she's on the up and up, KWIM? I know OP's child comes first and foremost in this situation, of course. But that provider should not have gotten another penny as soon as she was caught trying to get a prescription for OP's dd.

Exactly. I am thinking I would let her sue me and see what happens!

[mommyneedsadayoff]

This is a really bizarre situation. Do you know for sure that she took your dd to the doctor and had her looked at or did she just go with to the appt? (is it the same doc you go to or a new one? New docs would require paperwork and medical history to be filled out) The reason I ask is because it just does not seem possible for her to have your daughter seen and prescribed meds without going through insurance, especially if it is with a doctor your dd does not go to. My pharmacy and doctor ask for my insurance card every time I go (been going there for 15 years), so how was she able to get any meds unless she paid out of pocket? This may sound weird, but it is almost like she was trying to use your daughter and medical coverage to get prescriptions for herself (or her own children). Maybe not, but just a thought I had. I definitely don't agree with taking some one else kid to the doc and giving them meds, but I don't see the malicious or negative intent behind getting a prescription like amoxocillin. And like someone else said, if she thought she did something wrong, she wouldn't have been so open about all of it. She obviously made mistakes, but I am wondering if her actions had good intention behind it and if she even realized she had done something wrong. Why do you think she is drugging kids with allergy meds (my allergy meds actually make me hyper, not drowsy), to make them sleep. I guess I just see that as a VERY bad and dangerous, but I don't think the doc thing and the amoxicillin are that big of a deal...weird, but harmless.

I am not trying to be on her side, but I just find this whole thread to be so strange. You have no issues for over a year and love her, but this one situation of the doc visit had led to you thinking she is drugging your kids, insane, and not fit to run a daycare. People can be great at hiding stuff, but it doesn't seem like this woman was trying to hide anything. This either means she is very naive on what is allowed/appropriate or not allowed in daycare, or she may very well have mental health issues.

My brother is bipolar and I say this without knowing your dcp, so please take it with a grain of salt, but her extreme behavior change sounds like something bigger is going on. My brother will make up all sorts of stuff and is an unrecognizable person from the guy I know and love when he has an episode. Luckily, he keeps up on his meds and has not had any issues in the last 10 years, but it can be a scary and eye opening experience. Possibly this is an issue with your provider, or maybe she is having a sort of breakdown or something? I would just document everything and let her sue or not. There is not much else you can do at this point. Focus on moving forward and I hope it all works out for you!

[sleepinghart]

The part I bolded is very true, but I am wondering if it would stand up in a court if the OP's facts are right. Regardless when it comes to the safety of the child if the OP has all the facts right, two weeks is a small price to pay!

(^bold^ made by me)

I totally agree. I was wondering the same thing...If it would stand up in court because of the circumstances, but I have no idea; I was gonna leave that part up to the more experienced in that area providers.

[sleepinghart]

This is a really bizarre situation. Do you know for sure that she took your dd to the doctor and had her looked at or did she just go with to the appt? (is it the same doc you go to or a new one? New docs would require paperwork and medical history to be filled out) The reason I ask is because it just does not seem possible for her to have your daughter seen and prescribed meds without going through insurance, especially if it is with a doctor your dd does not go to. My pharmacy and doctor ask for my insurance card every time I go (been going there for 15 years), so how was she able to get any meds unless she paid out of pocket? This may sound weird, but it is almost like she was trying to use your daughter and medical coverage to get prescriptions for herself (or her own children). Maybe not, but just a thought I had. I definitely don't agree with taking some one else kid to the doc and giving them meds, but I don't see the malicious or negative intent behind getting a prescription like amoxocillin. And like someone else said, if she thought she did something wrong, she wouldn't have been so open about all of it. She obviously made mistakes, but I am wondering if her actions had good intention behind it and if she even realized she had done something wrong. Why do you think she is drugging kids with allergy meds (my allergy meds actually make me hyper, not drowsy), to make them sleep. I guess I just see that as a VERY bad and dangerous, but I don't think the doc thing and the amoxicillin are that big of a deal...weird, but harmless.

I am not trying to be on her side, but I just find this whole thread to be so strange. You have no issues for over a year and love her, but this one situation of the doc visit had led to you thinking she is drugging your kids, insane, and not fit to run a daycare. People can be great at hiding stuff, but it doesn't seem like this woman was trying to hide anything. This either means she is very naive on what is allowed/appropriate or not allowed in daycare, or she may very well have mental health issues.

My brother is bipolar and I say this without knowing your dcp, so please take it with a grain of salt, but her extreme behavior change sounds like something bigger is going on. My brother will make up all sorts of stuff and is an unrecognizable person from the guy I know and love when he has an episode. Luckily, he keeps up on his meds and has not had any issues in the last 10 years, but it can be a scary and eye opening experience. Possibly this is an issue with your provider, or maybe she is having a sort of breakdown or something? I would just document everything and let her sue or not. There is not much else you can do at this point. Focus on moving forward and I hope it all works out for you!

(^bolding^by me)
I pretty much agree & ...especially the bolded parts.

[daycarediva]

I want to make sure there are no misunderstandings about what I'm saying before I even start; so first I want to say that I am not taking up for the provider in what I'm about to say. I'm simply trying to wrap my head around why any provider would do something as extreme, or as wrong; I am not excusing her, she was wrong in what she did. I am also really confused about a number of things so I'm gonna ask and hopefully OP can clear them up.

Usually, when someone does something wrong, and they know they've done wrong, they try to hide it. What's weird here is that this provider didn't; instead she was very open about it and acted like it was no big deal. She texted your Mom asking what pharmacy you used(which that is an admission in itself). So I'm thinking that she herself thought it was no big deal. You keep saying that you two were friends, and your child had been in her care for 1.5 years, so I'm just wondering if in her mind she thought she was doing you a favor(maybe a favor as a 'friend', not a dc provider)...even thinking you'd be appreciative maybe?
Another thing you keep mentioning is that you yourself took your child to the MD about one week before the provider took her- Did you communicate with her about this? Did the symptoms that caused you to take her to the MD in the first place continue after the visit? Had the provider been saying anything to you about your child's symptoms or voiced any concerns over her health? :confused: Once again, not that any of the answers to these questions make what the provider did right...She was wrong. Just trying to wrap my head around the whole situation & her thinking...Not that her thinking makes her right because it doesn't...She was wrong.

With regards to those texts or emails she sent you about being sick or having cancer- that in itself tells me a lot about this person. Not only were they very unprofessional, they were also the work of an unstable mind. ...IMHO.

About the 2K in fees she's claiming you owe...Is that late fees only or late + other fees? If so, what kind? How many times have you been late? Do any of the papers that you do have explain any fees she charges? I'm also curious as to why you didn't tell the provider immediately, or at least soon after, that you were not bringing your kids back to her because if I'm understanding correctly, after you found out what she did you didn't say anything to her you just kept your kids mostly some place else for a week:confused:?

When you've questioned her about why she took your child to the doctor, what does she say? Same with the fees...When you ask what they are for, what does she say:confused:? Also, about the term notice- A 2-week notice is pretty standard practice so it's not that far of a stretch to guess that she most likely had one.

When I was legally unlicensed I took a child to their pediatrician for what I thought was an ear infection. (It was, double infection). This was prior to regular texting, I didn't even own a cell, and I had a form on file for medical care with our pediatrician. Mom and I were neighbors/close and she considered it huge favor as she would have to miss work to take him. I told her when she picked up, and she got his meds from the pharmacy. I also took him to his follow up appt, gave him antibiotics and tylenol, etc. Very different from now! (8+ years ago)

[Angelsj]

California

Interesting thread. But if you are in California, why does your profile say Colorado? Just curious.

[Michelle]

wow! This whole thread is scary
I once had a mom give me a bottle of melatonin and told me to give it to her kid if he is hyper or to help him sleep
I gave it right back to her
I am a provider in Calif. and all allergy medicine is really frowned upon around here.
anyways did you ask your friend who still has a kid enrolled to take her kid to the police to have him tested if you suspect she is doping the kids?

[lblanke]

If you don't get a copy when you sign something, take a picture with your cell phone.

Not an attorney, but from high school civics, a contract is valid if there is an offer (watching your child), acceptance (yes) and consideration (usually $ but any form of payment). It cam be verbal or written. If written, both parties should receive a copy but it's no less valid if they don't.

[lblanke]

Oops really old thread