Difficult Daycare Provider

[mka_mommy]

This entire thread is odd to me, you say you looked at all the contracts and didn't see anything about a 2 weeks notice, then you say you need a copy of the contract. A Dr saw your daughter as a patient and prescribed her medicine and you are more worried about the contract? You took a week before pulling your daughter? You now suspect drugging them for naps and another parent is aware of this and still taking her daughter there? She actually got a prescription? I'm sorry but the contract would be the least of my worries, the provider could likely go to jail for this, the Dr that wrote a prescription for your child could also bear legal troubles, lose medical license etc. this whole story is just strange IMO

You must be skimming, so I won't take offense. I want to be clear that my children are my number one priority. I have trusted my DCP whole heartedly for 1.5 years, and saw her daily. The moment I had a strange feeling, I seeked other care for my children. But again, it's hard to wrap your head around something that is hard to believe. Now this whole while, she is acting as though it is no big deal. I've never been put in this situation. By the next week I had them placed somewhere else.

When I pulled my children out, i didn't tell DCP the true reason. I truly did consider her a friend. My children were already out of her care when I was asking for the contract. I already placed the first week under her mat as she requested, but at the same time, thinking it was no big deal, I didn't realize that a simple request for a signed copy would turn into this drawn out dramatic series of texts that I was receiving from her. During these series of texts, which began Tuesday of this week 3/22 - I began to see her irrational, psychotic behavior emerge. It just boggles my mind that I had politely requested a copy and still haven't received it even today. If she didn't have it in her contract, then why should I pay the remaining?

And with that being said, it's already set, I will be reporting her to the correct authority. As I've said in previous posts, I've already reached out to family/friends/lawyers and even this forum.

It has proven to be helpful, especially with forms that are required (which I never received) and resources that were provided. You can't expect me to be an expert in an area i'm unfamiliar with. I trusted her. I thought she was my friend. And never in a million years would I have thought she'd do anything to harm my children. And now I'm fearing for the children who are under her care. I want to take the proper measures, and not leave anything out. I could easily walk away from this, but I know that there is something that needs to be done.

[SnowGirl]

This entire thread is odd to me, you say you looked at all the contracts and didn't see anything about a 2 weeks notice, then you say you need a copy of the contract. A Dr saw your daughter as a patient and prescribed her medicine and you are more worried about the contract? You took a week before pulling your daughter? You now suspect drugging them for naps and another parent is aware of this and still taking her daughter there? She actually got a prescription? I'm sorry but the contract would be the least of my worries, the provider could likely go to jail for this, the Dr that wrote a prescription for your child could also bear legal troubles, lose medical license etc. this whole story is just strange IMO

I reread OP's first post and she said she pulled immediately when she learned DCprovider was seeking medication for her child. She also said that she was looking at all the contracts/paperwork she had but didn't see anything about her notice, so she asked for the full, signed contract. To me it just sounds like a first-time mom who didn't realize at first how important it might be to have all her paperwork ducks in a row with a daycare provider. I'm sure her lesson is well learned!

It is a pretty wild story, but we all advised that authorities should be contacted, contact info was given, and OP is now working on reporting these things to authorities. If it's fabricated or not, we gave the right advice. I'd rather know that we did right by the children in care of this provider should the story be true, than question the story and those children remain in danger, kwim?

[mka_mommy]

I agree. This is a really strange thread. I would have had this woman arrested on day ONE of this debacle, not kept my child enrolled with her for another full week, which gave her 7 more days to medicate my child behind my back. No way. No job is worth endangering my kid (assuming the fear of losing her job was the "reason" for keeping her child enrolled).

Like I said, things are much easier said than done. In hind-sight, i would probably do things differently. Maybe reacted faster, maybe have her arrested, but I did not know the things I know, on March 2nd. I didn't not have the research I've done on March 2nd. I know this is hard to grasp, but I did consider her a good friend of mine, and someone I trusted with my children. I saw her daily for the last 1.5 years. She was very active in the law enforcement community. So any illegal activity was the last thing I could think of. I kept thinking there must be a reasonable explanation. 1 week is rather quick (I was very lucky) to find quality care, with my guard up... as most other preschools in my area has waiting lists. I did not come here for judgements, I came here for advice.

[NeedaVaca]

No I didn't skim. If I had found this out about a provider, took her to my pediatrician who says it's child assault my first call would have been the police. I'm sorry but no one will take my child to a Dr and get medication. Police and lawyers would have been notified on day one, the daycare would likely be closed for investigation immediately, no other children would be there and possibly at the risk of serious harm. Every day she is operating there is that risk. You found out 3/2 didn't give notice until 3/13 and it's now 3/25. It's a very serious allegation with no real sense of urgency.

[Thriftylady]

No I didn't skim. If I had found this out about a provider, took her to my pediatrician who says it's child assault my first call would have been the police. I'm sorry but no one will take my child to a Dr and get medication. Police and lawyers would have been notified on day one, the daycare would likely be closed for investigation immediately, no other children would be there and possibly at the risk of serious harm. Every day she is operating there is that risk. You found out 3/2 didn't give notice until 3/13 and it's now 3/25. It's a very serious allegation with no real sense of urgency.

As a provider I would do that also. But I think back to when DS was little. I was a new and young parent. I am not sure I would have known to. Now, I would, and I likely would have seven years later when DD was born. But when DS was in daycare, I honestly had this crazy idea they could do as they chose. I never heard of a contract or handbook. Never heard of them seven years later when DD was born! Two years after that when I started daycare I had a contract but bare basics. I guess my point is that you don't know what you don't know. I will say the second parent in this should have pulled already since she has been put on notice. She has the information.

[mka_mommy]

No I didn't skim. If I had found this out about a provider, took her to my pediatrician who says it's child assault my first call would have been the police. I'm sorry but no one will take my child to a Dr and get medication. Police and lawyers would have been notified on day one, the daycare would likely be closed for investigation immediately, no other children would be there and possibly at the risk of serious harm. Every day she is operating there is that risk. You found out 3/2 didn't give notice until 3/13 and it's now 3/25. It's a very serious allegation with no real sense of urgency.

If you'd like to know my personal calendar here it is. 3/02 - she brought my daughter to the doctor. I left work immediately and took her to her pediatrician and was with her for the rest of the day. 3/03 - 3/04 she was with my aunt who offered to watch them because I reached out to her about my situation. 3/07 My father was off and offered to watch my children. 3/08-3/10 I switched my schedule from 5AM - 12PM (had to request partial days) so I could pick them up by 1PM. I made arrangements the best I could. While calling around speaking with different daycares through out that week. 3/11 I took the day off to tour a preschool facility in which my children were with me. 3/13 was a Sunday - and Monday 3/14 my children were no longer attending that daycare. All has been very well documented.

Being a working mother, who also recently switched jobs it proved to be difficult, and I am very lucky to have the help of my family. So yes. There was a sense of urgency. It's easy to cast judgment on others when you aren't in their shoes.

[Rockgirl]

Why did the provider take your child to the dr? What symptoms....had she mentioned symptoms that needed checking out? I am NOT excusing her taking the child. Just wondering.

[mka_mommy]

And with all of this, I didn't want to raise any alarms with my DCP. She questioned why I was taking off early, it was all a very strange time for me. I just knew I didn't want my kids there anymore.

I didn't begin to see how crazy she was until 3/22 - 3/24 text messages when she wouldn't provide the signed contract. I was ready to just give her the money, but when she began to tell these over the top lies about being in chemo and in the hospital for 5 days so she can't provide the contract... something was completely off.

Reading this over, it is unbelievable. I haven't even gone into detail of the texts she has sent me.

[mka_mommy]

Why did the provider take your child to the dr? What symptoms....had she mentioned symptoms that needed checking out? I am NOT excusing her taking the child. Just wondering.

No symptoms. I asked her what made her bring her to the doctor... she told me that she was brought her daughter (highschool daughter) to her appointment, and she had my youngest with her... WHICH IS NOT OKAY! And the doctor checked her.

this is so unbelievable. I'm scratching my head, i still can't believe this has happened to me.

[NightOwl]

If you'd like to know my personal calendar here it is. 3/02 - she brought my daughter to the doctor. I left work immediately and took her to her pediatrician and was with her for the rest of the day. 3/03 - 3/04 she was with my aunt who offered to watch them because I reached out to her about my situation. 3/07 My father was off and offered to watch my children. 3/08-3/10 I switched my schedule from 5AM - 12PM (had to request partial days) so I could pick them up by 1PM. I made arrangements the best I could. While calling around speaking with different daycares through out that week. 3/11 I took the day off to tour a preschool facility in which my children were with me. 3/13 was a Sunday - and Monday 3/14 my children were no longer attending that daycare. All has been very well documented.

Being a working mother, who also recently switched jobs it proved to be difficult, and I am very lucky to have the help of my family. So yes. There was a sense of urgency. It's easy to cast judgment on others when you aren't in their shoes.

No its easy to cast judgements when you didn't give us the full story and left a LOT to the imagination. You're just now telling us that, during that last week, the children were rarely in care. They were with family instead. Hopefully you can see that that's a critical piece of information?

I think I get where you're coming from. You trusted her. You couldn't imagine a world where she would go behind your back or be so brazen as to assume she could seek medical care for your child. I think your trust in her blinded you to the dangers happening. Unfortunately, it happens to a lot of new moms, so you are not alone.

[SnowGirl]

As a provider I would do that also. But I think back to when DS was little. I was a new and young parent. I am not sure I would have known to. Now, I would, and I likely would have seven years later when DD was born. But when DS was in daycare, I honestly had this crazy idea they could do as they chose. I never heard of a contract or handbook. Never heard of them seven years later when DD was born! Two years after that when I started daycare I had a contract but bare basics. I guess my point is that you don't know what you don't know. I will say the second parent in this should have pulled already since she has been put on notice. She has the information.

I have a very unassuming and forgiving personality, and I'm exactly the type of mother who might not immediately think to report this provider, ESPECIALLY if I considered them a friend. It would be very difficult for my mind to formulate the reality that something illegal was happening.

We don't know how OP's conversations went and how strong the alarm bells were in reality...I just know that I can entirely see myself in OP's shoes. As much as I want to see myself as mama bear...I'm benefit of the doubt bear instead. (Although my true mama bear instincts have yet to be put to the test and I pray they won't have to be for a good long while, if ever).

OP, I'm sure you're doing the best you can and that this whole thing has your head reeling. Again, I'm just glad your children are out of that daycare.

[Unregistered]

I feel like there is something criminal going on here.

I would contact the police. I would contact licensing.

Are there other children still in care there?

I would NOT send my child back, cease communications and keep a record of all her attempts to contact me.

Me too. Getting prescription med's for someone else's kid ?? That's just SO weird!

[Snowmom]

I totally get all the contract part--it's not valid unless both parties received a copy.

But if I suspected my child was being medicated, I would pull immediately. Children have died in care when medicated to make them sleep. No way would I take that risk with my child just to avoid upsetting the provider!

I just wanted to point out that this statement is not true (totally not picking on you).

If both parties signed the contract, it is valid regardless if one of those parties failed to make (or receive) a copy.
If one party is holding the other signee accountable for a breach of contract, then the first party does need to prove that there has been a breach, which is where furnishing them a copy comes into play.

Also, in our business, there's also the Parent Handbook. Which should in essence, break down our contract in more detail and in some cases where a signed contract is not provided, a handbook has served as proof of policies breached.
I realize not all providers offer both a Handbook and a contract, but this is one reason why it's valuable.

[none]

No symptoms. I asked her what made her bring her to the doctor... she told me that she was brought her daughter (highschool daughter) to her appointment, and she had my youngest with her... WHICH IS NOT OKAY! And the doctor checked her.

this is so unbelievable. I'm scratching my head, i still can't believe this has happened to me.

Hell, unless I have an appt, the doctor here won't look at any sibling unless they're so sick it's glaringly obvious. I can't believe that a Dr. Would look at a child even with a POA without an appointment for that child. Even if that doc was a friend. Something is waaaay off here. Amoxicillin btw is an antibiotic. Are you saying you believe the dcp wanted to drug the kid to sleep with it? Or are you saying that in addition to getting an illegally obtained antibiotic, you suspect the dcp is giving allergy meds and has been, to all the kids and this obtaining of new meds is what brought you the red flag?
If you haven't called cps or police, do it now.

[Rockgirl]

I just wanted to point out that this statement is not true (totally not picking on you).

If both parties signed the contract, it is valid regardless if one of those parties failed to make (or receive) a copy.
If one party is holding the other signee accountable for a breach of contract, then the first party does need to prove that there has been a breach, which is where furnishing them a copy comes into play.

Also, in our business, there's also the Parent Handbook. Which should in essence, break down our contract in more detail and in some cases where a signed contract is not provided, a handbook has served as proof of policies breached.
I realize not all providers offer both a Handbook and a contract, but this is one reason why it's valuable.

It was so heavily stressed in my business law class about both parties receiving a copy, that I got it in my head it was a requirement. It's definitely a good idea to have a copy of the original signed copy, though, and it stinks that the provider won't produce it.