See-Through Dress Strikes Again

[Hunni Bee]

Seriously what the hell?? It was a different dress! Long white maxi, super thin fabric, bright pink undies.

Why does your preschooler own multiple sheer dresses?? I made her put a pair of jeans on under it.

[Thriftylady]

Seriously what the hell?? It was a different dress! Long white maxi, super thin fabric, bright pink undies.

Why does your preschooler own multiple sheer dresses?? I made her put a pair of jeans on under it.

You did what I would have done! Then I would be telling mom no more see through clothes!

[Hunni Bee]

You did what I would have done! Then I would be telling mom no more see through clothes!

I have told them when her dress was too sheer and we sent out a general notice asking for shorts to be worn under dresses.

I would have said something this morning but I didn't notice it til the DCM was already gone. I will be mentioning it (a little more sternly) at pickup.

[midaycare]

Gross. That is all.

[permanentvacation]

Here's a question (well two questions)... Why do they MAKE sheer, see through dresses for such a young age? And why do companies sell them?

Are the dresses supposed to be something to wear over a bathing suit?

I point out to the parents that you can see her underwear through the dress and require that she no longer wears those dresses to daycare.

[Baby Beluga]

Here's a question (well two questions)... Why do they MAKE sheer, see through dresses for such a young age? And why do companies sell them?

Are the dresses supposed to be something to wear over a bathing suit?

I point out to the parents that you can see her underwear through the dress and require that she no longer wears those dresses to daycare.

That was my thought too. I used to have a mom who would dress her child in a nightgown almost every single day. Mom didn't know it was a nightgown and thought it was a regular dress. Perhaps this mom thinks this is a dress but it's actually a cover up? Either way, it's not fair to the child to be dressed like that.

[Blackcat31]

I have told them when her dress was too sheer and we sent out a general notice asking for shorts to be worn under dresses.

I would have said something this morning but I didn't notice it til the DCM was already gone. I will be mentioning it (a little more sternly) at pickup.

Does your center have any type of dress code/policy?

If so, I'd send the child to the Director's office and have the Director call the parent.

Does the child keep extra clothing in her locker/cubby/back pack? If so, have the child change into that clothing.

Maybe the center has extra clothing she could wear for the day?

[Hunni Bee]

That was my thought too. I used to have a mom who would dress her child in a nightgown almost every single day. Mom didn't know it was a nightgown and thought it was a regular dress. Perhaps this mom thinks this is a dress but it's actually a cover up? Either way, it's not fair to the child to be dressed like that.

Now that I look at it, I'm pretty sure the one she has on today might be a cover up...but the other ones weren't. She's also worn nightgowns. Dcm just believes in minimal clothing - in the summer she wears skimpy tops and short shorts everyday, and she dresses dcg much the same.

I'm beginning to think she knows the dresses are see-through but thinks because it's on a little girl it's okay.

[Hunni Bee]

Does your center have any type of dress code/policy?

If so, I'd send the child to the Director's office and have the Director call the parent.

Does the child keep extra clothing in her locker/cubby/back pack? If so, have the child change into that clothing.

Maybe the center has extra clothing she could wear for the day?

She has extra clothing and I just had her put some pants on.

[Baby Beluga]

Now that I look at it, I'm pretty sure the one she has on today might be a cover up...but the other ones weren't. She's also worn nightgowns. Dcm just believes in minimal clothing - in the summer she wears skimpy tops and short shorts everyday, and she dresses dcg much the same.

I'm beginning to think she knows the dresses are see-through but thinks because it's on a little girl it's okay.

How sad for the girl. That is just gross that her mom would think it is okay.

DH and I were having a very similar conversation last night. I took DD to the park and there was a girl who was in a dress (with no shorts under) doing flips and other things on the monkey bars. You could see everything. This park was in the middle of an outdoor mall so there were a lot of people walking and sitting nearby doing and thinking who knows what. I don't think some parents stop and think what they may be subjecting their children too when they are not dressed properly.

[Solandia]

I think it is more of a cultural shift in what is considered clothing-appropriate. Dd(16yo) and I were talking about a similar issue just this week.

Back in the day(high school) a few decades ago ...it was THE most embarrassing thing to have a bra strap show. Or if one could see the color of your underwear/bra through the white basketball/volleyball uniforms for home games. Like, "OMG I could just die" worthy. Bff had her older brother drive 20 miles out of the way to get a different colored sports bra for her.

Showing a bra strap when wearing a tank/cami is no big deal, and hasn't been for quite some time. Or wearing leggings as pants, or seeing the hint of the undies color under white shorts/pants. I mean, my grandma flipped her lid if I wore a skirt/dress without a slip and nylons (even if not see-through). I ditched wearing slips before high school, nylons shortly after...even though grandma thought it was trashy --or "gross". Haven't owned either of those items in over 20 years.

So I am guessing mom doesn't care or pay attention while dressing her child, because it is a non-issue to her. Just provide an explicit dress code acceptable to you that you can enforce, and dcm can eye-roll all she wants. You cannot rely on common sense for clothing choice, because I see it as an overall shift in what is considered appropriate.

[Unregistered]

I had one who wore dresses barely longer than a shirt and sheer white tights and no underwear! I talked to parents about it and they said they dress minimally at home and let her have choices about clothing and that my house was just like home to them.
We talked about my house being "out in public" especially since we go on many walking trips around the neighborhood. And that this would not be acceptable when she goes to school.
So they divided her closet into home and public clothing and all was well.

[Unregistered]

I was surprised at this being such a touchy subject when I saw the first post and that so many people again feel this way. I suppose it's another one of these cultural differences we just have to learn to view from a place of neutrality and not judgement. I live by the beach and we have basically naked (wearing just a diaper, just undies or sometimes nothing) kids at the beach all the time. The beaches have playgrounds so kids'll go play with very little on and parents will drive them to get groceries and such on the way home. So kids often wear little tops and see through skirts and its just normal. Kids also go to school (childcare) in whatever. It doesn't seem logical to not be worried out in the world and then be worried at your 'second home'- family childcare or even center based care. Many feminists today really don't believe in concerning themselves with what a girl or woman is wearing because it is their choice to be comfortable and express themselves. If a sick person looks at the half dressed child in a sick way, can that really be the fault of the clothing (or child or parent for wearing it)? This is what people call victim blaming. I know many will say 'no no this is not what we are talking about'. You think it's what? Unethical, immoral? To wear those see through things? Why? The child's certain areas shouldn't be seen? Why? Because those areas are different from other areas (bottom is different than an arm)? Why? Because that area is viewed as sexual? I think we should examine what is it that makes people uncomfortable to see a child in see through clothing. And where do we draw the line. Should they cover their knees as well? Ankles? Shoulders? Neck? Hair?

[Mom2Two]

IMO Children should be dressed in clothing that they are able to play in, because that is what is developmentally appropriate for them. They should have shoes that they can run and climb in safely and effectively. They should have loose, comfortable clothing that fits for the same reasons. They shouldn't have to be constantly tugging their pants up. They shouldn't have to have their undies showing. They should have elastic waists so they can be self-sufficient in the potty.

Learning to have appropriate boundaries about our bodies is also important, in dress as well as other body functions. I don't need to see what people are chewing, or what comes out of their nose, and I also don't need to know about people's undergarments. Learning appropriate boundaries develops a sense of self-respect and respect for others. Beach is different, because there is different appropriate clothing for safe swimming.

People have become desensitized to the importance of childhood. Children should be dressed like healthy, active children. Not small adults. It's been a problem throughout history in different ways. Same as dumb women's clothing.

[Unregistered]

No blaming going on here, just expecting appropriate dress. It's currently 31°