New DCM Just Shows Up Early at My Door

[nannyde]

Of course she is going to call. You sort of put her in a bad position, because you were passive aggressive. I'm not taking the mom's side, but who terms on a Sunday? She can't even get replacement care until tomorrow. Her or husband will have to take an unneeded day off. I can't term parents without notice. It makes me feel unprofessional, because it is. When I used to work at the HS, I was fired without noticed. It was run by the boe and I was going to get tenure. The Monday after Christmas I got letter version of a pink slip. I usually keep my mouth shut, it really disturbs me how funny people find this and advised the OP to do it. I'm not wishing any thing on anyone, but if anyone ever gets the rug pulled out on them I hope instead of feeling bad for yourself you remember all the terms without notice and advising the OP you did.

Nah

When you behave badly and do things like force someone who is off work to care for your kid then bit©h about her having the kid watch disney when.she wasn't supposed to be there in.the first place AFTER you dropped off an hour and a half early without permission, you should expect to have done EXACTLY to you what you did.

Pull the rug under someone and.they have every right to do it back.

She's a badly behaved parent. She deserves what she got. Next time she will think before she acts up. She might get termed without notice on a Sunday afternoon.

Good job op. Get ready for a complaint and inspection.

[Unregistered]

We'll the parent put OP in a bad spot too expecting her to work extra and basically bossing her around. Dcp did not abude by the contract. When you don't play by the rules, that kind of stuff happens. If she would have played nice OP would not have had to put her in that spot. It's easy to be judgy when it's not you it's happening to.

The last line is my whole point. Should she keep this parent? No, but why not give them a week or at least a day to find new care? I think these terms are very unprofessional and really cruel when it's not something say illegal or threatening.

[hope]

The last line is my whole point. Should she keep this parent? No, but why not give them a week or at least a day to find new care? I think these terms are very unprofessional and really cruel when it's not something say illegal or threatening.

If the OP gives this dcm a week notice she may end up watching dcg till 6 or 7pm every night this week. Dcm has not kept her word and therefore can not be trusted. Do you work after hours for free? Why should OP take the chance of working late every night just to make life easier for a dcm that broke her own contract?

[Unregistered]

If the OP gives this dcm a week notice she may end up watching dcg till 6 or 7pm every night this week. Dcm has not kept her word and therefore can not be trusted. Do you work after hours for free? Why should OP take the chance of working late every night just to make life easier for a dcm that broke her own contract?

I don't know why everyone keeps saying free. I agree, the OP can work when she wants. The mom did pay the fees. It was't free.

[Unregistered]

A parent who assumes care well outside the boundaries of the contract, and then complains about the quality of that very care, and then demands meetings at specific times during personal hours, is EXACTLY why providers have to put phrases like "provider has the right to terminate at will" in their contract.

When a new parent starts badly and then escalates bad behavior rather than trying to understand the bounds of the contract, the provider must consider whether this parent may escalate further in front of children. It is best in my opinion, to discontinue the relationship immediately in order to avoid this.

And judging by the frequent calls with no messages left, this parent did continue to escalate.

[Unregistered]

I don't know why everyone keeps saying free. I agree, the OP can work when she wants. The mom did pay the fees. It was't free.

The parent should have arranged for extended care, not assumed that it was available.

Dairy Queen doesn't open early just because I am banging on the door at 6:30 a.m. no matter how much I want a Blizzard.

[Tasha]

The last line is my whole point. Should she keep this parent? No, but why not give them a week or at least a day to find new care? I think these terms are very unprofessional and really cruel when it's not something say illegal or threatening.

Could you please explain your definition of passive-aggressive? I think we disagree. This client was under a two-week probation period, wherein either party can opt out of the agreement without recriminations. Neither one of us was obligated to give notice. As far as I am concerned, she is the architect of her own dismissal by being rude, dismissive and completely disrespectful to both me - and her child. Who terms on Sunday? I do, when the client comes raging into my house on a Friday afternoon 30 mins after her contracted time. Would it have been better if I had termed on Monday morning an hour before she was scheduled to arrive?

[hope]

I don't know why everyone keeps saying free. I agree, the OP can work when she wants. The mom did pay the fees. It was't free.

You are right, the OP was paid for the overtime. She did not work for free. If dcm came late this monday should OP just charge late fees again and continue on with the whole week? What if dcm comes 2 or 3 hours late every night? Is it ok as long as she pays? Should OP not be able to carry on with her family and household responsibilities if dcm comes late every night as long as dcm pays the late fee? OP has said that she doesn't want the late charge. She wants to be done with her work day at the agreed upon time. It would be a really hard week for OP because dcm would know that OP will watch no matter what.

[Unregistered]

Could you please explain your definition of passive-aggressive? I think we disagree. This client was under a two-week probation period, wherein either party can opt out of the agreement without recriminations. Neither one of us was obligated to give notice. As far as I am concerned, she is the architect of her own dismissal by being rude, dismissive and completely disrespectful to both me - and her child. Who terms on Sunday? I do, when the client comes raging into my house on a Friday afternoon 30 mins after her contracted time. Would it have been better if I had termed on Monday morning an hour before she was scheduled to arrive?

See, this is what I'm talking about. Yourself said she contacted you on Friday and you're replying to me that your other option is to term on Monday? This got out of hand, because you let it. Now, you term with no notice and wonder why she's blowing up your phone. I would further explain, but it's not case not of not getting (for any of you). It's a case of wanting to be spiteful. I'm no way taking the mom's side, but two wrongs don't make a right. Sometimes, I like to post on here, because my friends and family don't get it, but yesh. You guys can be a group of mean girls. Just as I'm not surprised by NannyDe's Regina like reply. Cursing including. Like I said, when the shoe is on the other foot see how it feels. I don't think you guys understand compassion.

[Tasha]

Nah

When you behave badly and do things like force someone who is off work to care for your kid then bit©h about her having the kid watch disney when.she wasn't supposed to be there in.the first place AFTER you dropped off an hour and a half early without permission, you should expect to have done EXACTLY to you what you did.

Pull the rug under someone and.they have every right to do it back.

She's a badly behaved parent. She deserves what she got. Next time she will think before she acts up. She might get termed without notice on a Sunday afternoon.

Good job op. Get ready for a complaint and inspection.

Thanks everybody for defending me. It really raises my hackles to be called unprofessional. What do you think her complaint will be? The television?

[HL0605]

How was she passive aggressive? She let dcm know that it was unacceptable for her to show up 1.5 hours early and to pick up late. Dcm did it anyway. OP has been shown that she can not trust dcm to abide by her operating hours, and may have plans in the evening that do not allow her to be at this lady's mercy to decide when she wants to pick up her kid. Dcm was unforgivably rude, and considering this was a trial period with no requirement of notice, OP is completely within her rights to term immediately.

[MunchkinWrangler]

Of course she is going to call. You sort of put her in a bad position, because you were passive aggressive. I'm not taking the mom's side, but who terms on a Sunday? She can't even get replacement care until tomorrow. Her or husband will have to take an unneeded day off. I can't term parents without notice. It makes me feel unprofessional, because it is. When I used to work at the HS, I was fired without noticed. It was run by the boe and I was going to get tenure. The Monday after Christmas I got letter version of a pink slip. I usually keep my mouth shut, it really disturbs me how funny people find this and advised the OP to do it. I'm not wishing any thing on anyone, but if anyone ever gets the rug pulled out on them I hope instead of feeling bad for yourself you remember all the terms without notice and advising the OP you did.

Passive aggressive would be to call CPS because you didn't come to get your kid on time. Tasha merely took time to find the best way to terminate without getting into a knock down drag down fight with the parent. Like she said she was very angry anf even had to tell DCM to leave because her voice was getting shrill. Why let it escalate and I'm sure DCM would have left her kid there way past the time just to prove a point, what would be the point of a tug of war. At my closing time, I have my family and school. I can't work overtime even if paid, it could be detrimental to my personal life.

[Tasha]

See, this is what I'm talking about. Yourself said she contacted you on Friday and you're replying to me that your other option is to term on Monday? This got out of hand, because you let it. Now, you term with no notice and wonder why she's blowing up your phone. I would further explain, but it's not case not of not getting (for any of you). It's a case of wanting to be spiteful. I'm no way taking the mom's side, but two wrongs don't make a right. Sometimes, I like to post on here, because my friends and family don't get it, but yesh. You guys can be a group of mean girls. Just as I'm not surprised by NannyDe's Regina like reply. Cursing including. Like I said, when the shoe is on the other foot see how it feels. I don't think you guys understand compassion.

So a client comes in angry and late on Friday, telling me that she is going to change her hours. I am here by myself with only her child in the house, and while she is already agitated I am going to give her notice? No, thank you. There was no spite. She is clueless, as evidenced by her email yesterday chastising me for letting her child watch TV, and not even acknowledging the fact that she was so late. It is not a matter of compassion. It is a business arrangement, and I followed the contract. And I will sleep well tonight.
Hopefully, she'll treat her next provider with more respect.
We live in a huge city, and I have no doubt she'll have no problem finding (and eventually alienating) another provider.

[hope]

I think the OP also needed time to think about what had happened on friday in order to make a decision. Had she termed friday she may have done so due to emotions being high. I think she had every right to sit on it for a day to make sure it was the best decision.
Side note, an unregistered poster calling someone else passive aggressive makes me giggle.

[Thriftylady]

Thanks everybody for defending me. It really raises my hackles to be called unprofessional. What do you think her complaint will be? The television?

She will complain about anything she thinks will cause you trouble even it if is all lies. Sadly she is that type of parent. Call your licensing agent first thing in the morning, tell them what happened, and to expect the call. Depending on the complaint they may still have to come out. But you sound like the type to keep your paperwork and such in line, so other than the hassle, no big deal.


ETA: Don't worry about unregistered, it is easy to spew a bunch of junk when you won't even register to own what you say. Obviously, this person is not a provider. Heck maybe it is even the mom you termed, or one just like her for all we know.