Attention Seeking and Speech Problem

[auntymimi]

New 4 yo dcg is driving me CRAZY! She has very garbled speech that I can't understand most of. And I'm pretty good at understanding most of what is said by the babies. I can understand "hey m" which she says a billion times a day followed by something completely unintelligible. I'll ask her to repeat it several times and try my best to understand what she is saying. She's very very attention seeking, and has to have an adult's attention every second of the day. I'm beginning to think the garbled speech is partly a way to get attention, as I have to ask "what?" many times and get down on her level to understand what she's saying. Occasionally she speaks clearer, and that's what is making me think it's a bid for attention. She is very babied at home, mom still refers to her as a toddler. She'll be in kinder next year. Not a toddler, . Most of her attention seeking centers around her constant talking as that's really the only bid for attention I honor, mostly because i was thinking that she really needs the practice. She's also tried the "I can't do it" with shoes and such to which I tell her to sit there until she figures it out, as well as "can you help me" in reference to playing with a toy (she wants me to build her block tower for her and that kind of thing) to which I tell her the same. None of my other kids are like this (anymore ) but she's here almost 12 hours a day and it's really starting to get on my nerves. My question is, how do I encourage her speech development while also discouraging the constant attention seeking.

[Thriftylady]

My four year old that I think had learning issues has a speech issue but not nearly so bad. He also talks constantly to get attention. I do "correct" his speech. I am wondering if with my kiddo it is hearing related, of course there is no way to know for sure without testing the the parents just won't go do it. Would your kiddos parents be willing to go to the doctor and get an assessment?

[auntymimi]

My four year old that I think had learning issues has a speech issue but not nearly so bad. He also talks constantly to get attention. I do "correct" his speech. I am wondering if with my kiddo it is hearing related, of course there is no way to know for sure without testing the the parents just won't go do it. Would your kiddos parents be willing to go to the doctor and get an assessment?

She's brand new, so I'm not sure. She has a physical that I need to keep on file coming up, so hopefully the doc will address it. Mom still refers to her as a "toddler" or "the baby" and I just don't think she understands that it's abnormal for her speech to be like that. I don't know how, she's heard all the other kids speak (including my own 2 yo) and I think she's just in deep denial. The way mom spoke about her (the baby) I thought she had another child, a baby. This little girl is the only one, and she's almost 5. Very, very behind socially and with her speech. Also she doesn't know Abc's or 123's (which in my opinion isn't really that big of a deal) but it will be hard to get her to that point before kinder if she has all of these other things to work on first. She apparently watches a lot of television, and constantly asks for an I pad (which I would never give her). She's very sweet, but it is really getting old, fast. I'd consider terming, but honestly it seems like all the kids I interview are just like this or worse off, at least she's not violent.

[Thriftylady]

Well I still call my DD "the baby" and she is 17. But she IS the baby since I won't be having more. I don't think that is the issue, but if mom is actually treating her like a baby, that isn't helping. I would ask mom to bring up speech at the doctor. You could ask for a written diagnosis so you better know how to help her I suppose.

[Ariana]

Why not refer her for a speech assessment? Tell mom you are concerned and you should be able to understand 70% or more of what she is saying but she is not at that level yet. The DR likely won't say anything about it, they seldom do and so many kids just fall behind. Make sure mom knows that this is affecting her social development and have examples to give.

[auntymimi]

Why not refer her for a speech assessment? Tell mom you are concerned and you should be able to understand 70% or more of what she is saying but she is not at that level yet. The DR likely won't say anything about it, they seldom do and so many kids just fall behind. Make sure mom knows that this is affecting her social development and have examples to give.

How would I go about it? I'd never done this before for an older child, most of the kids I've had would go through birth-3 but she's almost 5. I've left a message at my CCR&R to ask them. She's a brand new kiddo, I'd hate to tell her I think somethings off and have no suggestions about what to do about it. Thank you.

[Ariana]

I would print off a copy of the speech and language checklist for my state and fill it out and then ask mom to fill it out. It is a very hard thing to do but you have to let mom know that you are feeling concerned. I would show her the areas I am concerned with and ask her if she is having concerns at all. Then I would recommend that she takes DCG to get an assessment. Are they free in your area? Do you know of a specific place? You could have all of that information ready to tell her, or you could tell her you will email her with a list of places she can go. Be as confident and as positive as you possibly can. "DCG is a very bright child but I have some concerns about her speech as I am finding it hard to understand her....have you ever filled out a speech and language milestones checklist for her at the DR's? Ok well I printed off a copy of one and thought I would share it with you....."

I have had to do this a few times in my career. Only once did the parent take my concern seriously and do anything about it.

[Ariana]

Here is the milestones from my area:

4 Years

Does your 4 year old…

follow directions involving 3 or more steps – “First get some paper, then draw a picture, last give it to mom?”
use adult-type grammar?
tell stories with a clear beginning, middle and end?
talk to try to solve problems with adults and other children?”
demonstrate increasingly complex imaginative play?
talk in a way that is understood by strangers almost all of the time?
generate simple rhymes – “cat-bat”?
match some letters with their sounds – “letter T says ‘tuh’?

Also look out for any of these red flags:

Limited eye gaze and/or limited shared interest in others
Repeats exactly what you say instead of responding to questions or comments
Lack of interest in or contact with other children of the same age during play
Does not look at you when listening or speaking
Makes noises or uses gestures to show needs instead of using words or sentences
May talk but what they say may not be relevant to the conversation
Repetitive play or movement behaviours
Limited sequenced pretend play
Any loss of any social and/or language skills

[auntymimi]

Here is the milestones from my area:

4 Years

Does your 4 year old…

follow directions involving 3 or more steps – “First get some paper, then draw a picture, last give it to mom?”
use adult-type grammar?
tell stories with a clear beginning, middle and end?
talk to try to solve problems with adults and other children?”
demonstrate increasingly complex imaginative play?
talk in a way that is understood by strangers almost all of the time?
generate simple rhymes – “cat-bat”?
match some letters with their sounds – “letter T says ‘tuh’?

Also look out for any of these red flags:

Limited eye gaze and/or limited shared interest in others
Repeats exactly what you say instead of responding to questions or comments
Lack of interest in or contact with other children of the same age during play
Does not look at you when listening or speaking
Makes noises or uses gestures to show needs instead of using words or sentences
May talk but what they say may not be relevant to the conversation
Repetitive play or movement behaviours
Limited sequenced pretend play
Any loss of any social and/or language skills

Thank you. She seems very bright, it's just that her speech is very garbled. It could be more of a hearing problem than a cognitive one. Once again, thank you. I'll ask my ccr&r for a list of specialists in our area, if we have any.