Hysterical 2yo - Advice

[Unregistered]

How many days do u let a child cry before you term?
I have a kid that is 2y4m for 3 days now and she has cried almost all day on all the days. I do everything to Make her better but I also homeschool my 8yo and 9yo on top of the other daycare kids so I don't have a ton of time to coddle a dck. I did call for pickup on one day where she was especially upset. I wanna term now but maybe she will adjust if I give her time
I have a 1mon trial in my handbook so I can term immediately whenever I decide I wanna

In ur dc how many days do u give a kid to adjust if they Very obviously hate it?

[Blackcat31]

How many days do u let a child cry before you term?
I have a kid that is 2y4m for 3 days now and she has cried almost all day on all the days. I do everything to Make her better but I also homeschool my 8yo and 9yo on top of the other daycare kids so I don't have a ton of time to coddle a dck. I did call for pickup on one day where she was especially upset. I wanna term now but maybe she will adjust if I give her time
I have a 1mon trial in my handbook so I can term immediately whenever I decide I wanna

In ur dc how many days do u give a kid to adjust if they Very obviously hate it?

I normally give two weeks. I have extended it another two weeks IF I think it will help AND we've made significant progress thus far.

However, with a 2 yr old that cries all day....I don't know... I am to the point in my career that I can tell within 2-3 days if a child is going to "make it" or not.

I kind of think 2 yrs old is a bit old to cry CONTINUOUSLY all day...I understand weepiness and sadness through out the day now and then, but all day crying? I don't think I could manage that.

I'd probably term if I couldn't find ways to get the child to begin feeling as if they are safe/comfortable enough to fit in and not cry all day.

[Baby Beluga]

How many days do u let a child cry before you term?
I have a kid that is 2y4m for 3 days now and she has cried almost all day on all the days. I do everything to Make her better but I also homeschool my 8yo and 9yo on top of the other daycare kids so I don't have a ton of time to coddle a dck. I did call for pickup on one day where she was especially upset. I wanna term now but maybe she will adjust if I give her time
I have a 1mon trial in my handbook so I can term immediately whenever I decide I wanna

In ur dc how many days do u give a kid to adjust if they Very obviously hate it?

My rule of thumb is about 2 weeks for full time and about 1 month for part time.

[Play Care]

In 10 years I've had one family that I let go due to all day crying. Like Blackcat, I can usually tell within the first few days if it's going to work out.

[childcaremom]

I normally give two weeks. I have extended it another two weeks IF I think it will help AND we've made significant progress thus far.

However, with a 2 yr old that cries all day....I don't know... I am to the point in my career that I can tell within 2-3 days if a child is going to "make it" or not.

I kind of think 2 yrs old is a bit old to cry CONTINUOUSLY all day...I understand weepiness and sadness through out the day now and then, but all day crying? I don't think I could manage that.

I'd probably term if I couldn't find ways to get the child to begin feeling as if they are safe/comfortable enough to fit in and not cry all day.

I had one like this. I lasted 2 days before terming. I can do a here and there crying but there was no stopping, not even during rest time. She was not cut out for group care.

[NightOwl]

"I do everything to Make her better but I also homeschool my 8yo and 9yo on top of the other daycare kids so I don't have a ton of time to coddle a dck."

This is against minimum standards in most, if not all, states. Not the homeschooling part (I homeschool also) but the allowing homeschool (or cleaning, or doing your taxes, or making phone calls, etc) to interfere with the care of children you are paid to care for. Just an FYI.

Maybe this little guy just needs some extra one on one, some extra snuggling, some extra comfort. He may not be a good fit for you, but that doesn't mean he isn't a good fit for group care.

I give all kids the full two week probationary period to adjust or show promising signs of adjusting. If day 10 is exactly the same as day one, then I call it and end the contract.

[Hunni Bee]

"I do everything to Make her better but I also homeschool my 8yo and 9yo on top of the other daycare kids so I don't have a ton of time to coddle a dck."

This is against minimum standards in most, if not all, states. Not the homeschooling part (I homeschool also) but the allowing homeschool (or cleaning, or doing your taxes, or making phone calls, etc) to interfere with the care of children you are paid to care for. Just an FYI.

Maybe this little guy just needs some extra one on one, some extra snuggling, some extra comfort. He may not be a good fit for you, but that doesn't mean he isn't a good fit for group care.

I give all kids the full two week probationary period to adjust or show promising signs of adjusting. If day 10 is exactly the same as day one, then I call it and end the contract.

That's what stood out to me. What are the other kids doing while she's homeschooling?

This post kind of rubbed me the wrong way but I'm not going to comment on it til she gives more info.

[Thriftylady]

That's what stood out to me. What are the other kids doing while she's homeschooling?

This post kind of rubbed me the wrong way but I'm not going to comment on it til she gives more info.

I kind of agree. I don't want to say much without more info, but it sounds like perhaps you have to much on your plate.

[childcaremom]

"I do everything to Make her better but I also homeschool my 8yo and 9yo on top of the other daycare kids so I don't have a ton of time to coddle a dck."

This is against minimum standards in most, if not all, states. Not the homeschooling part (I homeschool also) but the allowing homeschool (or cleaning, or doing your taxes, or making phone calls, etc) to interfere with the care of children you are paid to care for. Just an FYI.

Maybe this little guy just needs some extra one on one, some extra snuggling, some extra comfort. He may not be a good fit for you, but that doesn't mean he isn't a good fit for group care.

I give all kids the full two week probationary period to adjust or show promising signs of adjusting. If day 10 is exactly the same as day one, then I call it and end the contract.

That was me and in regards to my own scenario. She absolutely was not ready for group care. Had never been left with anyone other than dcps and had not really socialized with other children. We are a small but active group and it was very overwhelming for her.

I usually do a full trial period, as well, but some times you just know it's not going to work out.

[Unregistered]

This is mine.

I reread my post and it sounds harsh. When I typed it she was laying on floor 5 feet from me screaming constantly. I wrote it quick just to get it out. I have cuddled her, rocked her, involved her more, tried giving her space, encouraging kids to play with her and then encouraging Them to let her be.i created a space that is hers if she wants to be alone. When I said I had tried it all I really was serious. She just is miserable. I've been doing this a while but this is the first time I have been completely stumped on what to do.

I have 4 kids of my own (9,8,4,3) plus 4dck. My older two are mostly independent at this age for schoolwork, but they get my whole attention during quiet time. It doesn't affect my daycare responsibilities at all. Even if I wasn't home schooling this girls bahavour would be too much on top of the other kids. The reason I talked about the homeschooling is because she is so loud and upset at quiet time that I sit next to her for the entire 2.5 hours just begging her to settle. My kids can't focus and they're falling behind because I don't get that time to teach with them. That's the reason I don't accept kids under 2. I know that I don't have the time to rock or hold a child to sleep. Kids over 2 can settle themselves after 10
Minutes of back rubs and soothing. But this one just can't even after a whole hour or 2.5 hours

I'm just asking at what point I should conclude that she simply isn't a good fit. I don't wanna term and then always feel like I gave up too easy. I haven't ever termed a kid and I feel good that I am able to take on tougher kids and get them accustomed to daycare but she might be my first failure

[Blackcat31]

This is mine.

I reread my post and it sounds harsh. When I typed it she was laying on floor 5 feet from me screaming constantly. I wrote it quick just to get it out. I have cuddled her, rocked her, involved her more, tried giving her space, encouraging kids to play with her and then encouraging Them to let her be.i created a space that is hers if she wants to be alone. When I said I had tried it all I really was serious. She just is miserable. I've been doing this a while but this is the first time I have been completely stumped on what to do.

I have 4 kids of my own (9,8,4,3) plus 4dck. My older two are mostly independent at this age for schoolwork, but they get my whole attention during quiet time. It doesn't affect my daycare responsibilities at all. Even if I wasn't home schooling this girls bahavour would be too much on top of the other kids. The reason I talked about the homeschooling is because she is so loud and upset at quiet time that I sit next to her for the entire 2.5 hours just begging her to settle. My kids can't focus and they're falling behind because I don't get that time to teach with them. That's the reason I don't accept kids under 2. I know that I don't have the time to rock or hold a child to sleep. Kids over 2 can settle themselves after 10
Minutes of back rubs and soothing. But this one just can't even after a whole hour or 2.5 hours

I'm just asking at what point I should conclude that she simply isn't a good fit. I don't wanna term and then always feel like I gave up too easy. I haven't ever termed a kid and I feel good that I am able to take on tougher kids and get them accustomed to daycare but she might be my first failure

Personally, I don't think you need to justify or explain why or how you homeschool.

There are many many providers that homeschool AND run a child care. IMHO, it's no different than providing preschool with a group of daycare kids.

I've never read or come across a state regulation/rule specifically restricting or limiting a provider from home schooling. I am sure there are some states that may address it, but I see nothing wring with it....it's all part of "family" daycare.

As for the DCG, I replied previously and still think the same, your instincts are usually spot on....if you don't feel like she's improving at all, I would term and move on. Some kids just arent the right fit but not because of the provider or the child, sometimes it just is what it is.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I had one child, 2 at the time, who took 3 months to adjust (she attended Monday-Friday).

I had another child, 2 at the time, who took 2 months to adjust (she attended Monday-Thursday).

If you want to make it work, prepare yourself for 3 or so months of crying. If it ends sooner you'll be thankful. If you feel like that is too overwhelming, then I'd give it 2 weeks and re-evaluate. :hug:

Also, good for you for homeschooling. I will be homeschooling my child.

I currently do preschool and conduct small groups during Center Time. So, I am "home"schooling only 4 or so preschoolers at a time while the others play. To me, that's pretty equal to a child care provider homeschooling their biological child while the children play (although, you aren't saying you do that...I am just commenting).

[Hunni Bee]

This is mine.

I reread my post and it sounds harsh. When I typed it she was laying on floor 5 feet from me screaming constantly. I wrote it quick just to get it out. I have cuddled her, rocked her, involved her more, tried giving her space, encouraging kids to play with her and then encouraging Them to let her be.i created a space that is hers if she wants to be alone. When I said I had tried it all I really was serious. She just is miserable. I've been doing this a while but this is the first time I have been completely stumped on what to do.

I have 4 kids of my own (9,8,4,3) plus 4dck. My older two are mostly independent at this age for schoolwork, but they get my whole attention during quiet time. It doesn't affect my daycare responsibilities at all. Even if I wasn't home schooling this girls bahavour would be too much on top of the other kids. The reason I talked about the homeschooling is because she is so loud and upset at quiet time that I sit next to her for the entire 2.5 hours just begging her to settle. My kids can't focus and they're falling behind because I don't get that time to teach with them. That's the reason I don't accept kids under 2. I know that I don't have the time to rock or hold a child to sleep. Kids over 2 can settle themselves after 10
Minutes of back rubs and soothing. But this one just can't even after a whole hour or 2.5 hours

I'm just asking at what point I should conclude that she simply isn't a good fit. I don't wanna term and then always feel like I gave up too easy. I haven't ever termed a kid and I feel good that I am able to take on tougher kids and get them accustomed to daycare but she might be my first failure

That's why I didn't want to jump to any conclusions. I guess it's just how it was worded that made me picture the dcg crying by herself while you homeschooled you kids.

I wasn't coming down on homeschooling at all. Sorry if it seemed that way.

And anyway, I agree with pp...sounds like she's just not ready for group care yet. It doesn't sound like she wants your undivided attention, sounds like she just doesn't want to be there. I've had kids like that.

You could have her tuff it out....I had a little girl who cried off and on all day every day for months. Then one day she just realized that she was the only person that was unhappy and snapped out of it. But then again she wasnt a screamer.

I'd give it another week or so. If she has made zero improvement then I'd let her go. Shes affecting 7 other kids plus yourself.

[NightOwl]

This is mine.

I reread my post and it sounds harsh. When I typed it she was laying on floor 5 feet from me screaming constantly. I wrote it quick just to get it out. I have cuddled her, rocked her, involved her more, tried giving her space, encouraging kids to play with her and then encouraging Them to let her be.i created a space that is hers if she wants to be alone. When I said I had tried it all I really was serious. She just is miserable. I've been doing this a while but this is the first time I have been completely stumped on what to do.

I have 4 kids of my own (9,8,4,3) plus 4dck. My older two are mostly independent at this age for schoolwork, but they get my whole attention during quiet time. It doesn't affect my daycare responsibilities at all. Even if I wasn't home schooling this girls bahavour would be too much on top of the other kids. The reason I talked about the homeschooling is because she is so loud and upset at quiet time that I sit next to her for the entire 2.5 hours just begging her to settle. My kids can't focus and they're falling behind because I don't get that time to teach with them. That's the reason I don't accept kids under 2. I know that I don't have the time to rock or hold a child to sleep. Kids over 2 can settle themselves after 10
Minutes of back rubs and soothing. But this one just can't even after a whole hour or 2.5 hours

I'm just asking at what point I should conclude that she simply isn't a good fit. I don't wanna term and then always feel like I gave up too easy. I haven't ever termed a kid and I feel good that I am able to take on tougher kids and get them accustomed to daycare but she might be my first failure

Gotcha. That makes more sense. You had a routine in place and now she's totally rocking the boat. I suppose it's just a matter of what YOU want to take on. She can't cry all day forever, right? But are you willing to stick it out indefinitely? It doesn't sound like it. I would give her until the end of your probationary period and then cut ties if there's no evidence of improvement. That way you know you tried and dcm does too. I always cut some slack for new kids but only for the first week or two. After that, they have to fall in line and be part of my program, not a disruption to it.

[NightOwl]

"The children shall be supervised at all times. The licensee shall be responsible for the care and supervision of the children at all times."

"No other activities that take time and attention away from the children shall be
performed in the home during the hours of child care."

These are the regulations i was referencing in my first post concerning things that take time away from the dcks. But this would not apply to op since she clarified her original post.