How to Tell a Parent Their Child Is Too Much for Your Group

[MSDEEDEE]

Help I have a toddler that is 16 months and starting to get into everything, how do I tell his parents its time for him to move on and not re new their contract ends soon in May
I keep babies to 2 ish I want to just keep babies and hes alot
Help

[childcaremom]

Help I have a toddler that is 16 months and starting to get into everything, how do I tell his parents its time for him to move on and not re new their contract ends soon in May
I keep babies to 2 ish I want to just keep babies and hes alot
Help

You could tell them that you will not be renewing his contract and that his last day of care will be x date. I wouldn't give a reason, just that it's a business decision.

[permanentvacation]

OMG!! I literally just gave a parent notice this morning because her baby isn't fitting in to my program. And the mother CRIED! I felt horrible about having to give her notice. But her baby needs to be held way too much for me to be able to tend to the other children. If she's not being held, she screams hear head off. The mother did tell me on the interview that the previous daycare provider held her a lot and that she holds her a lot. I told her that I can not hold her as much as she's used to and that we'd have to work together to get the baby used to not being held so much. But she's been here a couple of weeks and I feel that it's taking her too long to adjust to not being held as much. I don't believe it's healthy for her to be upset this long.

The mother asked me if I was going to stop watching the other baby that I have. And said that since the other baby is younger, she must need more attention than her baby. However, the younger baby is working out just fine. She hardly ever cries. She is quite happy and content when I put her in a bouncy seat, in the playpen with some toys, or on a baby mat on the floor. The younger baby simply looks around and watches the other kids, looks at the pretty colors on the educational charts on the wall, or grabs a toy and is happy occupying herself for a while while I teach the other kids, potty train them, cook a meal, etc. But this mother's baby will only stay happy and content for less than 5 minutes when you put her down.

Now, I didn't tell the mother that the other child is as content as she is. I simply told her that I don't want to compare the children, that each person has their own individual needs and that I am not able to meet the needs of her child here. I suggested that she try to find a daycare that has less children than I have here, or a daycare where they don't teach the children and don't cook the meals for the children. That way, the provider could spend more time holding her baby rather than teaching the kids and cooking. Then she got upset and said that she didn't want her baby going where they don't teach the kids. She said she chose me BECAUSE I teach the kids so much.

The mother started crying and asked if there was anything she could do to make it work here. She asked if it was her hours and suggested that she change her work hours. She said that she's okay with the baby crying while she adjusts to not being held so much. Which I told her that I feel it's taking too long for her to adjust and that it's not healthy to let her cry for this long of a period of time to adjust. She said that she really likes my program and was ecstatic about finding me and getting her child into my daycare because of how much I teach the children, etc.

I felt absolutely horrible about giving her notice. I know she really likes my program. I know she was so happy with her baby coming here. But I also know that if I'm not able to meet her baby's needs, she needs to find another daycare who can meet her needs.

I just kept repeating this, "I feel horrible about having to give you notice. But at this moment, your baby needs more individual attention than I can give her. It would, in my opinion, be a disservice to your baby if I allowed her to continue attending my daycare knowing that I am not meeting her needs."

In the end, the mother said that there's no point in arguing with me to try to convince me to continue watching her because I've made my decision. And left crying. I feel so bad about having to give her notice. But I know it's the right thing to do for her baby.

[permanentvacation]

I tried not to go into details as to why I was giving her notice. I knew that would just lead to the parent trying to make suggestions or ask why her child is being given a notice and others are not. But when I kept saying that 'it's just not working out", the mother kept asking one question after another. So I decided to go ahead and explain my reason for terminating her.

I do believe that if she calms down about me terminating her and realizes that I am doing what's best for her baby and since I told her why I'm terminating her, that she can use my reason for terminating her to help her find a daycare that will work better for her.

[permanentvacation]

You might want to explain that your program/daycare is set up for a specific age group. Her child is now aging out of your program and would be a better fit at a daycare that is set up for his age group. If needed, you could then give some examples of things that her child needs/wants to start doing now that he/she is getting older and how your daycare/program can't help him meet those needs/wants. I would try to get her to understand that you are trying to do what's best for her child by helping her to understand that your daycare is not able to meet his needs now and that she needs to find a daycare that does offer a program that will fit his needs/wants now that he's getting older.

[Ariana]

This is why I like to term through email. I feel it gives the parents time to digest the information and then when we see eachother face to face the interaction goes well and isn't awkward and emotional.

OP I would probably just say that you are changing the direction of your program and will no longer be providing care for them effective X date.