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I've been subpoenaed before to testify that I termed a child for behaviour reasons. She thought she could show the behavior started after dcd had visitation. I went and sat there for 4 hours, never testifying. I did talk to her attorney about what I would say. Maybe call the attorney and explain, he may not need you if you tell him you won't be of help.
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I use a customized variation of the letter that BC uses but in this situation it too late to use it in my opinion and i think that although OP claims to want to stay neutral she has allowed DCM and DCD's dealings to involve her. I don't think she knows that she's doino it but I do think it's being allowed.
At any time that either DCM or DCD begin to ask about or vent about the other parent the immediate response should have been "let me stop you right there. I will not discuss the other parent with you." rinse and repeat. End of story. The end. Walk away.
If DCM and DCD already have an agreement as to which days DCG spends with each parent then they each need their own contract and they each need to pay for their own child care days. It's not business wise to keep then on the same contract or to have them both share the responsibility of paying the fees together. What happens when one parent doesn't want to pay and the other parent gets tired of footing the bill? Are you prepared to stop childcare services for both of them?
If they each have their own contract and they each foot their own bills then you'll have less drama because if one parent doesn't pay for their days then that parent can be denied services without penalizing or interrupting services for the other parent. This stops the need to have to talk to either parent about the other parents financial problems and prevent adding fuel to the fire.
Also I would talk to an attorney or someone that knows family law that can tell you if you can charge the family for being subpoenaed. The issue I see with this that neither parent signed or agreed to pay these fees in their agreement with you and I don't see how you would be able to collect these fees if they refuse. If you're subpoenaed then you have to appear by law or you can be held in contempt. Of course you can always show up and not be cooperative just know that you might be then treated as a "hostile witness". You can withhold information if you wish just know that you will probably be asked specific questions so really think about whether you're really willing to stay quiet when they ask you the questions. This alone will probably frustrate whichever parent the questions benefit and they might just term anyway.
I would think that a better solution would he to clearly tell both parents that you will be honest about both parents and that includes giving information that is both good and bad about each of them. For example you can tell them that you will be obligated to mention to the court of any bad mouthing they have been doing to each other and point out that this will paint them each in a bad light. Make them feel like your cooperation would damage more than help both of their cases and that because of that you feel like you should not appear. Ask them instead to have their attorneys send you a list of questions to answer that you would be more than happy to write out and return to the attorney, then you can be vague in these questions and don't have to worry about closing the daycare. Also you can point out that youve only ever seen the parents be good parents to DCG and anything bad had always just been hearsay since you've never seen either parent do anything that would make you question their parenting abilities (if this is true).
I know it's different in each state so I would check on how your family court system works and I just mention what I did because I was put in a similar situation and this is what I did to avoid having to be called into the courthouse.Comment
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