When A Potential Family Puts It Aaalllll Out in The Open Before Interview...

[sleepinghart]

So if anyone remembers, just recently termed my original DCK, 2 year old for not getting along with my son. Did some soul searching and found my niche is with the babies. 6months-18 months is what I prefer, although I'm not going to advertise that.

So now I have an open spot to fill for full-time. This DCM contacted me when I first opened a year ago and said she was about to have a baby and she needed childcare. Didn't know what arrangements would be yet, would keep in touch. Now her baby is a year old and she is *really* wanting to put him in my home daycare. I guess grandmas have been watching him back and forth for the year and now mom wants consistency.

Perfect age, perfect hours.

Potential DCM? Oh good lord!!!

She is a nervous wreck and we haven't even met face to face yet. She says her baby is attached to her hip and would crawl back into the womb if he could. She's mentioning things like 'I have a pit in my stomach even thinking about it' and 'not that I'm nervous about your care, I'm nervous he's going to think I am abandoning him'. I have found a couple parents feel this way and once their child hits my floor with all those new toys, then its " mom who?! " She also wants her mom, dad and husbands mother to come to the interview. I can already feel my armpits sweating with how awkward that one would be!

At first I was reassuring her that I do have play cams that she could check in on her son any time of day, I use an app to log diaper changes, feeding etc..All that good stuff. I initially thought she was a crazy mom but then turned negative thoughts into positive and tried to see it as a challenge. My thoughts were, "See it as a challenge to give this mom peace of mind. After a few weeks of your care, she'll trust you and be an awesome DCP".

My DH calls me a little after this and I told him my thought process. Happy for myself I tried to see the positive in it, instead of immediately going, NOPE! Crazy mom! Don't want that nonsense in my daycare. Fiance says *absolutely* NOT! He thinks she would be the kind of person to go ape S*$@ the second her son got a bruise or a bump.

So I'm stewing on it. The kicker is, she just sent me another email explaining that the entire year he's been on earth, both g-ma's hold him his *entire* nap. :confused: :confused: :confused: I definitely would not do that in a million years.

I'm pretty sure I'm going with my fiance on this one!!

Thoughts?!

I had a few similar situations(before I caught on)where the grandparents were at interviews and very involved with the child and the child was "attached at the hip"/had to be held or rocked to sleep/etc. I know a lot of providers here have had very positive experiences in this area, so I am just telling my personal ones.

In all these cases the grandparents absolutely positively adored the child and come to find out(or at least it didn't seem so to me)didn't really want them in another's care, but were so burned out from the child having to be held at all times lest they scream, the child hanging onto their leg as they were trying to cook for their family, etc. and also from the parents taking advantage- leaving them there longer & longer, no respect, no pay, etc.(in other words, and IMHO, they were exhausted & burned out from caring for very demanding and spoiled kids & unappreciative parents)and that's why they were looking for care.

They were all reluctant to pay for their spot and wanted only to pay by the day(or when they actually attended); and as time went on, I understood why- the child would start attending less and less- it was always "they're sick" one day or mom/dad taking the day off but mostly it was "child won't be in today because grandma wants to watch them". There was also a major problem with them always picking up way early or bringing them in way late.

And of course these children cried/screamed when not being held or looked at, never slept and were just very demanding in general(the type that stops crying as soon as you pick them up); they took up the majority of my time and I had to term finally mainly because it wasn't fair to the other children that I had to spend most all my time coddling them.

I don't know why I had so many of these when I first started daycare, but I did . I also don't know why they started care in the first place knowing how attached they were to the kid...yes they were probably aggravated but did they honestly think the arrangement would work or what:confused:? Anyway, your post reminded me of them so I just thought I'd share . It may turn out entirely different for you. I may end up giving them a chance if it were me, but I'd watch extremely closely, go an extra mile in making my contract clear to them, have a trial period and most importantly I think would be always enforcing your policies from the get go no matter how minor the problem may seem to be. ...Good luck in whatever you decidelovethis!

[Josiegirl]

Nope. NO!

I would be honest with her though "I do not think he is ready for group care. He would be one of # children here, the state ratio is 1 to #. Realistically no licensed provider with other children in care will be able to hold him for the duration of naps. I recommend a nanny."

I had this mom. I was crying daily by the time the kid was 4 months old. I stuck it out. I termed at 9m. The more the child grew, the less I could meet his CONSTANT demands for attention. Let alone deal with Moms craziness. I answered her 3rd phone call of the day and the baby was crying in my arms. She started freaking out! "OH MY GOD WHY IS HE CRYING?!" and I had to say "BECAUSE YOUR PHONE CALL WOKE HIM UP, SINCE HE WON'T SLEEP ANYWHERE OUTSIDE MY ARMS!"

Haha did Dcm 'get it' then?? Good grief!!!

[Unregistered]

Probably just an attempt to be funny

Wasn't trying to be funny, sorry if my opinion offended you

[Josiegirl]

Wasn't trying to be funny, sorry if my opinion offended you

I completely missed the whole dh/fiance reference in the OP but truthfully, none of anyone's business and doesn't come into play with the whole thing.:confused: