How to Fix an Issue I Didn't Enforce Well

[Indoorvoice]

A couple of months ago, a family kind of sprung potty training on me and I wasn't prepared. I gave them the whole spiel about needing to be dry here 2 full weeks and then we could switch to underwear but didn't really explain what would happen if she started having accidents again and how I expected them to handle things. Well the first 2-3 weeks dcg did fine but I didn't realize how much I was reminding her to go until we switched to underwear. I kind of did a bad thing and let more than a few accidents slide here and just kept telling myself that it would get better. It's getting worse. Several poop accidents a week and I'm just so done. I've timidly tried explaining this can't keep happening but I feel like parents don't hear me and just keep suggesting I remind her more. I remind her so much already and is not helping. She's just not ready. How can I fix this? I was thinking about emailing them and laying out my policies since they aren't taking me seriously when I try to talk about it. They dont want to hear that she's not ready and make me feel like I'm being lazy for not getting her to the potty more. But I feel like I can't term because it's my fault I didn't enforce it and stay firm in the first place. How can I go from being complacent to firm about this without me sounding like an idiot and them hating me?

[Unregistered]

I don't see it so much as a policy issue really. I feel like you just need to tell them she isn't ready and she will have to be in diapers at your house. Tell them she can't be at your program out of diapers because it has become a sanitation issue and because you can't continue to place expectations on a child that are not developmentally appropriate for her. When she shows signs of readiness, she can try again. Signs of readiness will be: (whatever you want: she can say when she has to go without prompts, can pull down and pull up undies and pants on her own, can wipe on her own, etc). If she comes to your house in undies and not diapers, she will need to put on a diaper or go home.

[Thriftylady]

I don't see it so much as a policy issue really. I feel like you just need to tell them she isn't ready and she will have to be in diapers at your house. Tell them she can't be at your program out of diapers because it has become a sanitation issue and because you can't continue to place expectations on a child that are not developmentally appropriate for her. When she shows signs of readiness, she can try again. Signs of readiness will be: (whatever you want: she can say when she has to go without prompts, can pull down and pull up undies and pants on her own, can wipe on her own, etc). If she comes to your house in undies and not diapers, she will need to put on a diaper or go home.

I agree with this. Diapers or pull ups from now until no accidents on her own without constant reminding.

[Laurel]

I don't see it so much as a policy issue really. I feel like you just need to tell them she isn't ready and she will have to be in diapers at your house. Tell them she can't be at your program out of diapers because it has become a sanitation issue and because you can't continue to place expectations on a child that are not developmentally appropriate for her. When she shows signs of readiness, she can try again. Signs of readiness will be: (whatever you want: she can say when she has to go without prompts, can pull down and pull up undies and pants on her own, can wipe on her own, etc). If she comes to your house in undies and not diapers, she will need to put on a diaper or go home.

[Snowmom]

I get the feeling you know what should happen, but the problem is you don't feel the parents are supportive of you making that decision.

Just flat out tell them.

It's a sanitary issue.
State what you want to happen and what needs to happen until dcg shows she's ready again.

They want you to do the work to train her and you can't and shouldn't.
It's really that simple.