Am I Being Unreasonable?

[marniewon]

First, I want to say that I love this family. Mom is great, dcb is fun and very well behaved. They pay on time. But here's my problem:

3 months ago dcd insisted that he needed to drop off at 8am, since his work location had changed. So I rewrote the contract for 8am. I can count on one hand how many times in the last 3 months that they've arrived at 8am. Or even before 8:15. A lot of times they don't get here until 8:30-8:45!! Since they contracted for 8am, I have to be up and ready at 8am. They are my only morning family right now, so I'm getting up for them only. Last week they didn't bring him at all one day, and didn't call until 8:02. Yeah, only 2 minutes after they are contracted for, but by that time I was up and ready, no way could I go back to bed then . Is it unreasonable to ask that they call by 7:45 if they aren't coming or are going to be late? They live at least 20 minutes away, so I know that they will know by 7:45 if they are going to be late or not here at all. I'm thinking that I'm going to write a note asking for notice by 7:45am if they are going to be late or not attending that day. And I think I may even attach a fee to it if they don't let me know by 7:45. Like I said, this family is great in every other area, but this is just grating on my nerves. I'm not a morning person, and would love to sleep even a few more minutes, if I knew I could. Is this unreasonable?

Dcb has an older SA sister. I found out tonight (by looking it up) that sis doesn't have school tomorrow. I have in my contract that I need 24 hour notice if sis will be attending or it's an additional $10 (on top of her regular day fee). A lot of times, this family will keep both kids home on her days off. I haven't heard anything from this family yet. I'm going to be really hot if they call after 8am tomorrow to let me know dcb isn't coming!!

I really hate attaching a fee to everything that drives me crazy, but it seems like that's the only thing that actually works!

What would you do?

[cillybean83]

I would be answering the door in my hello kitty pjs and homer simpson slippers....but that's just me! I dont' get paid to look cute at 8am

[marniewon]

The other part of this is that I have a slightly deranged dog. He's a good dog, just very hyper, and very protective of his crate (when he's in it). So, in order to make sure nothing happens to my dog, or the kids, and to make sure he doesn't bark his fool head off, I let him outside at 8am and don't let him back in until after dcb gets here. It's cold here. For him to be outside for up to 45 minutes is unacceptable. I don't dare leave him in his crate, however, because he's very territorial about his crate, and it's in the entryway where dck's come in. I don't trust the dad of this dcb to make sure dcb stays away from the dog, so I have to have him outside when dcb arrives.

I think I'll just write a note about calling/texting by 7:45 if there's any change to the schedule. That would pretty much solve everything. I won't mention a charge, but if it keeps happening, then I'll mention how much it will cost if/when they disregard this new rule.

[Danielle]

I'm not sure what to tell you as this hasn't been a problem I deal with often enough. But as I'm sitting here reading your post I got a text from dcm (only one that's suppose to be here today). They're not coming today. They were suppose to be here half an hour ago, I've been up an hour and my kids just now woke up. That's a whole hour I could have slept. I think I need more coffee. ::

[Kaddidle Care]

I would just plain talk to them first. If they aren't considerate about it afterwards then add it to the next contract. They probably think you are up at that time anyway. Are you being paid whether they show or not? If they are expecting you to be ready at 8:00 as per contract, then they should be paying you for that time. Just remind them that they are paying for Daycare Service beginning at 8:00, not 8:30, not 8:45 and that it can easily be changed if they don't need you that early.

I used to watch the next door neighbor's daughter after school and if they had relatives visiting, she would go straight home with no notice to me. I called the Mom several times because I wasn't sure that was her plan. It was annoying to make sure I was home in time for this child when I wasn't needed but the parents paid me for my time anyway so I couldn't argue.

The dog - can he be put in a bedroom with an outside hook and eye or deadbolt (up high) on the door so the child can't open it instead of leaving him outside?

Unfortunately, people aren't very considerate these days but lack of communication can solve it a good percentage of the time. Don't stew over it, talk to them. Sometimes they are just caught up in their own little world and don't realize other people have a life as well. Good luck!

[kendallina]

I'd just talk to them. You said that you like this family a lot, and given their history with you, I'm sure they are reasonable people. Just explain that you have a lot of preparation to do in the mornings, so it's important that you know when they're going to arrive since they're the first family. Chances are, they never even thought that they're being inconsiderate and they're waiting until after 8 to call you because they don't want to wake you. I'd just tell them you need a call/email/text by xx time if they're not going to be there at 8. Even tell them it'd be great if they could let you know the day before if they know.

[e.j.]

I'd just talk to them. You said that you like this family a lot, and given their history with you, I'm sure they are reasonable people. Just explain that you have a lot of preparation to do in the mornings, so it's important that you know when they're going to arrive since they're the first family. Chances are, they never even thought that they're being inconsiderate and they're waiting until after 8 to call you because they don't want to wake you. I'd just tell them you need a call/email/text by xx time if they're not going to be there at 8. Even tell them it'd be great if they could let you know the day before if they know.

This is along the lines of what I was thinking, too. Also, like Kaddidle Care mentioned, I would express my concern that they are paying for an extra 1/2 hour to 45 minutes that they don't seem to be using. I'd offer to change their contract back to their original drop off time to save them some money. Sometimes if you explain it in terms of their own best interest, they listen better.

[Lilbutterflie]

Even though it is TRULY inconsiderate, I always try to think that they are paying me so it shouldn't bother me so much. I would have a chat with them and tell them they need to pick a consistent drop off time. If 8:30 works better for them, then I would make them sign a new contract starting at 8:30. Let them know that you want them to call 15min prior to drop off if they are going to be late. I don't think I would charge any sort of fee for not calling; BUT I may go run some errands if they didn't show up at their contracted time and say "Oh, I assumed you would not be here since you did not arrive on time." I actually changed my contract recently to say that if I did not get a call and they did not arrive on time, I would assume they would not be there for the day and may make alternate arrangements (such as take a drop in child, or go run errands, etc...)

About the dog, I would just put him out as soon as you hear them at the door. You don't have to answer right away. They can wait until you've put the dog outside.

In regards to the SA dcg. I would have discussed on Fri pick up that you knew the MLK holiday was Monday, and wondering what the plans were. Or, the week prior to a holiday you could send out a newsletter reminder that you need to know if an SA dck will need care at least 24 hours in advance, and that the fee is an extra $10 for the day.

[marniewon]

They are full time, so they pay full time prices. Their rate would not change if they are here at 8am or 10am. So they aren't losing any money by not coming. I didn't charge them any more when they went from 8:15 drop off to 8am drop off. I might mention that since they aren't needing the 8am drop off that I'm going to change it back to 8:15. As for the SA'er, first, they didn't even come Friday, so i couldn't have talked to them then, but honestly I didn't even know until last night that she didn't have school today, since the schools here are open today. She texted me at 7:52am today. A little better, but I was still up and around and couldn't really go back to sleep.

As for the dog, I think I will (as someone suggested) let him out when they arrive. I hadn't thought of that since they just walk in, and the dog is right there, so I didn't think about waiting til they got here. But, I guess i will just lock the door and when they knock, I'll let the dog out and then come back and let them in. I guess if dad says anything I'll just let him know that it's too cold for dog to be out for up to 45 minutes waiting for them to get here.

There have been several times that I've had to text mom to ask if they were coming today. Maybe, since they are good in every other area, they just figure I'm open and can come anytime. Even though I know it's in my handbook that they will be charged a "late" or "no call/no show" fee if they are late or not attending without calling. I'll have to look it up to see exactly what I have in there.

Thanks for all the opinions!!

[Unregistered]

I go through the same thing as you almost daily. My one dcg is supposed to be here between 7:30-8:00am. Hardly ever is she here on time. It used to bother me, but now I just go with the flo, I know she will be here at some point before 8:30 or so. I get up at 5:50am anyway to shower and make sure I am awake,ready and have breakfast. If she is a little late, I just get that much more time to get something done before she gets here, like maybe throw a load of laundry in or quick vacuum. My kids are all grown, so I don't have any of my own to deal with getting ready for school in the mornings, so that helps. Like I said, I decided to just go with the flo and not let it upset me anymore, and there is less stress for me to deal with.

[marniewon]

Why do parents pay for full time spots and then never bring the kids?? That's really not my beef today, but it does make me wonder.

8:16am. That's when mom texts me to say dcb won't be here today. He was supposed to be here at 8. It's in my contract that you call/text (whatever, I don't really care how you do it) NO LATER than 8am if child will be late/no show. It also says there will be a fee charged if no call by 8am. I guess I'm going to have to charge it, otherwise it's going to fall in that category of "I know I'm supposed to call by 8, but since there are no penalties if I don't, I guess I can just call whenever". And of course, today is one day that I would have loved to sleep in! Fell asleep early last night on the couch, slept for 2 hours, woke up wide awake and couldn't fall back to sleep until 4am . My next child won't be here until 1pm. I'm so tempted to go back to bed!

[dEHmom]

You may have mentioned it already, but I might've missed it. Do you have in your contract a certain time prior to drop off they have to let you know if they are not coming?

Tell her, you are waking up early just for them. You would like to know the night before if they are not coming. Since they don't follow the rules already and have been warned, I would skip the warnings at this point and just say, everytime I wake up for YOU and you don't show up, phone/text an hour prior, or the night before, or you come in late, I will be forced to charge the inconvenience fee.

How about they send you a text in the morning when they are leaving their house, and that gives you enough time to brush teeth and answer door? Then you dont' wake up for nothing.

[MommyMuffin]

I have the same situation. Contract says 7 or 7:30 arrival time. 90% of the time arrives at 8 am. I used to get up at 6 am. Now I get up at 6:50, just enough time to get dressed...just in case they decide to drop off.


If I were you I would talk to them and also just sleep until the last minute.

I also think of this as a perk of the job because I used to have to wake up at 5:45 for work everyday and I am so thankful I get to set my own hours now!!

[javamama]

That can be so irritating! I do not get too fired up about it because I am up regardless with my little one but I can see how it could get old. Sleep is a precious, precious thing

You got some pretty good advice from pp. Good luck with this issue.

[marniewon]

You may have mentioned it already, but I might've missed it. Do you have in your contract a certain time prior to drop off they have to let you know if they are not coming?

Tell her, you are waking up early just for them. You would like to know the night before if they are not coming. Since they don't follow the rules already and have been warned, I would skip the warnings at this point and just say, everytime I wake up for YOU and you don't show up, phone/text an hour prior, or the night before, or you come in late, I will be forced to charge the inconvenience fee.

How about they send you a text in the morning when they are leaving their house, and that gives you enough time to brush teeth and answer door? Then you dont' wake up for nothing.

For some dumb reason, I have it in my handbook to call/text BY 8am if they will be late or not coming. What I need to do is put it in their actual contract to call/text 30 minutes prior to their contracted drop off time (adjusting for each family and their contracted times). Too bad I didn't think of that last month when I was re-doing contracts!

The "text when leaving" would work great, except that it's dad who drops off, and as far as that goes, he's a typical clueless dad. From what I gather, mom goes in earlier than dad, so dad gets dcb ready and brings him. So she never really knows when they leave to come here.

I will definitely be talking to them and charging them the late call fee. It's starting to get a little ridiculous. I just last month sent out the new handbook and highlighted the changes - and that was one of them. When they signed the contract they agreed that they had read, and agree to, the handbook and my policies.