How Should I Explain This Sensitive Matter

[MarinaVanessa]

This does not go into effect until 1/2017 I believe.

Yep, for me it's nothing new since I don't flip kids under two around until 2 years anyway but not it's law that'll go into effect next year.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Aside from the carseat/weight issue, I would DEFINITELY contact your analyst to let them know what happened. I am not sure, but this could be considered an unusual incident, AND, because he was not in the carseat, you were not following regs. If Mom was as upset as you say, there is a very real possibility that she will report it. Better to self-report than have a substantiated complaint investigation.

Sorry you are having to deal with this

Not sure of what state OP is in, but she would not be breaking any laws in my state. CA seems to have much stricter laws, so if she is there, then yes, I would give them a heads up.

[Crystal]

Not sure of what state OP is in, but she would not be breaking any laws in my state. CA seems to have much stricter laws, so if she is there, then yes, I would give them a heads up.

Yes, she is in Ca.

[daycare]

Thank you for this information. I didn't even think about the fact that we did something wrong in that sense.

I will call and talk to my licensor tomorrow. I did already talk to county health consultant she said that I should document it and fix the issue which I was obviously doing when I called to ask about what kind of car seat we needed for a child this size.

[jenboo]

In our state, 110 lbs doesn't need even a booster.

The safely concern is more about if the child is ready to sit in a car seat without a booster.
There is a 5 step test to determine if a child is ready to sit without a booster.
1. Is the shoulder belt flat against the shoulder (not touching the neck).
2. Lap belt across thighs not abdomen
3. Bum all the way back in the seat
4. Knees bent beyond the seat edge, feet on the floor
5. Stay in position for entire ride.

So just because a child meets the weight requirement for the law, it doesn't mean they are ready to ride without a booster.

I would be furious if I found out my child rode without one when the provider knew they used one. Even if they are a big kid its a huge safety concern.

I would apologize and then ask the parents to provide a seat since there are only a few weeks left. Boosters are super easy to switch between cars.

[daycare]

The safely concern is more about if the child is ready to sit in a car seat without a booster.
There is a 5 step test to determine if a child is ready to sit without a booster.
1. Is the shoulder belt flat against the shoulder (not touching the neck).
2. Lap belt across thighs not abdomen
3. Bum all the way back in the seat
4. Knees bent beyond the seat edge, feet on the floor
5. Stay in position for entire ride.

So just because a child meets the weight requirement for the law, it doesn't mean they are ready to ride without a booster.

I would be furious if I found out my child rode without one when the provider knew they used one. Even if they are a big kid its a huge safety concern.

I would apologize and then ask the parents to provide a seat since there are only a few weeks left. Boosters are super easy to switch between cars.

Trust me I don't blame the parent for being mad. Despite the fact the child is only inches from the height requirements, he still needed to be in a car seat. I failed to properly train my husband (btw who has served as a firefighter prior to his MD) about what the new rules and regs state.
The school is 0.3 miles away, still the rules were not followed. I knew the laws had changed my husband didn't. Still not an excuse.

I'm not going to beat myself up over this. According to my husband he said the car seat he was in was unsafe either way as we don't have a seat that can support that weight. Even with the child on the seat we were still not In compliance here. The other seat max weight was 99 lbs. I didn't check it. I let this slip through the cracks . It's not like I didn't notice the child had gained weight in the last few months.

This has been a huge learning curve on my part. Sorry I don't need to get flamed for this. Regardless of this happening, me immediately fixing it, I'm dealing with a very tragic issue and don't need the continued reminder I made a mistake. I don't deny that. I am human.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Trust me I don't blame the parent for being mad. Despite the fact the child is only inches from the height requirements, he still needed to be in a car seat. I failed to properly train my husband (btw who has served as a firefighter prior to his MD) about what the new rules and regs state.
The school is 0.3 miles away, still the rules were not followed. I knew the laws had changed my husband didn't. Still not an excuse.

I'm not going to beat myself up over this. According to my husband he said the car seat he was in was unsafe either way as we don't have a seat that can support that weight. Even with the child on the seat we were still not In compliance here. The other seat max weight was 99 lbs. I didn't check it. I let this slip through the cracks . It's not like I didn't notice the child had gained weight in the last few months.

This has been a huge learning curve on my part. Sorry I don't need to get flamed for this. Regardless of this happening, me immediately fixing it, I'm dealing with a very tragic issue and don't need the continued reminder I made a mistake. I don't deny that. I am human.

I would not be upset with you if I was the parent. It's not like you strapped a one year old in to a regular seatbelt. Yes, CA law says you need him in a seat, but there are many other states where you would not be breaking any laws. I get sort of annoyed with all of it. Same as with ratios. Some states, you can only watch one kid and others, you can have up to 5. Not saying you shouldn't give licensing a heads up and try to fix the issue, but you are not a bad person or provider for doing something that is legal in numerous other states

[Josiegirl]

Daycare, we're all human. No throwing tomatoes at you from me. When we're going through our own personal issues it's awfully hard to keep afloat sometimes. Take care of yourself too. :hug::hug:

[jenboo]

Trust me I don't blame the parent for being mad. Despite the fact the child is only inches from the height requirements, he still needed to be in a car seat. I failed to properly train my husband (btw who has served as a firefighter prior to his MD) about what the new rules and regs state.
The school is 0.3 miles away, still the rules were not followed. I knew the laws had changed my husband didn't. Still not an excuse.

I'm not going to beat myself up over this. According to my husband he said the car seat he was in was unsafe either way as we don't have a seat that can support that weight. Even with the child on the seat we were still not In compliance here. The other seat max weight was 99 lbs. I didn't check it. I let this slip through the cracks . It's not like I didn't notice the child had gained weight in the last few months.

This has been a huge learning curve on my part. Sorry I don't need to get flamed for this. Regardless of this happening, me immediately fixing it, I'm dealing with a very tragic issue and don't need the continued reminder I made a mistake. I don't deny that. I am human.

Daycare I hope you didn't take my response that way!! I was explaining to a pp why it's not just about the weight and why I would be upset.

Only the last little section about asking the parents to provide a seat was meant for you. We are all human, we all make mistakes. You are dealing with alot and it slipped your mind.
One time I drove 30 min before I realized that I had a child buckled into a carseat that wasn't buckled into the actual car
You already mentioned how you know you messed up. You aren't blaming anyone.
Please understand that I was talking to pps who didn't know there was more to booster safety besides weight.

[Thriftylady]

Yes, we are all human, but I would expect a parent to understand that. I guess the part of the whole post that gets me is the "parent went off on me part". The rest is well trying to figure it out . I would ask the parent to provide the seat now though.

[midaycare]

Daycare, we're all human. No throwing tomatoes at you from me. When we're going through our own personal issues it's awfully hard to keep afloat sometimes. Take care of yourself too. :hug::hug:

And if dcm went off on me, well, I'm not sure I would have been able to compose myself.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

If dcm went off on me, I would no longer discuss the issue in a sensitive manner. "Dcm, dcb exceeds the weight limit for my booster and consequently, it broke. I will need you to provide a booster that is acceptable for his size and if that is not possible, I will no longer be able to transport."

[Leigh]

Trust me I don't blame the parent for being mad. Despite the fact the child is only inches from the height requirements, he still needed to be in a car seat. I failed to properly train my husband (btw who has served as a firefighter prior to his MD) about what the new rules and regs state.
The school is 0.3 miles away, still the rules were not followed. I knew the laws had changed my husband didn't. Still not an excuse.

I'm not going to beat myself up over this. According to my husband he said the car seat he was in was unsafe either way as we don't have a seat that can support that weight. Even with the child on the seat we were still not In compliance here. The other seat max weight was 99 lbs. I didn't check it. I let this slip through the cracks . It's not like I didn't notice the child had gained weight in the last few months.

This has been a huge learning curve on my part. Sorry I don't need to get flamed for this. Regardless of this happening, me immediately fixing it, I'm dealing with a very tragic issue and don't need the continued reminder I made a mistake. I don't deny that. I am human.

You're right not to beat yourself up over it. He had to make do, and he did. I am sure leaving the child behind wasn't an option, either. And, IF he had called the mom and offered her the choice of coming to pick up the child and transport him herself or putting him in a seat belt for the .3 mile ride, I am 99% certain that she would have OK'd the seat belt.

[daycare]

sorry for being overly emotional yesterday. The issue we are dealing with has really rocked me hard.

I talked to both parents about it yesterday and it sounded like their child really over exaggerated the whole situation and that the child was never in one to start with, which is not true at all.

I did talk to my LIC this morning and she asked me if I have corrected the issue and I told her yes, she told me to document it and show proof of correction. she said unless the parents call in to file a complaint, there is nothing more than can be done.

thanks again everyone and sorry for being so emotional

[daycarediva]

My boosters are max of 100 pounds. The bigger issue seems to be mom's denial of his weight issue. A hundred ten pounds at 4'5" is a large child, so she may be getting angry at you over something she has lost control of.

Sorry you had a tough weekend and got yelled at to top it off! Hope all is well!

Here's how my conversation would go:

"DCM I was unable to really speak to you the previous day about the carseat issue because, of course, emotions were high so now I need to speak to you so you decide how to proceed. On [date] my carseat was broken when DCK [action: was getting in/out of it, jumped on it etc] and I completely forgot to talk to you about it.

I was able to do some research into replacing the car seat that I was using for him but I'm having a hard time finding a car seat with a back that is safe for his weight that's also affordable. The car seats with a back that I've looked into only go to the maximum weight limit of 100 lbs and retail for about $300 or more which just isn't an option for me. I did however find a booster seat that reaches 120 lbs so if you're okay with him using one of those and not having a back then I'll go out and get one. It'll run me about $30 at Target.

If you're not happy with that option you can always leave me a car seat every day or if you have a spare one you'd like to leave here until you don't need daycare anymore that will work too. What do you think?"

This way I'd be talking about the weight issue without talking about HIS weight kwim? Make it about the car seat.

If dcm went off on me, I would no longer discuss the issue in a sensitive manner. "Dcm, dcb exceeds the weight limit for my booster and consequently, it broke. I will need you to provide a booster that is acceptable for his size and if that is not possible, I will no longer be able to transport."

I like all of this- but I would not be happy with how dcm spoke to me.

I find it so sad in our culture this is an issue- a child not fitting into a booster seat because of their weight, and being so large the child broke a seat! Mom has bigger fish to fry!