How Should I Explain This Sensitive Matter

[daycare]

I have a dck that I pick up from school daily. the child is kinder and very large for their age. at age 6 this child is about 110lbs and about 4ft5

Well the dck broke the car seat on Friday, my DH is the one who picks up dck. My DH did tell me that it broke and that the child was too big for it we need another one. We

had some tragic issue occur over the weekend and I had a break down. I forgot all about the carseat issue.

Well yesterday my DH picked up DCK forgetting all about the seat. Of course DCK went and told the parents that they were transported without the seat, dcm came in today and went off on me.

100% my fault. I should have talked to the parents about it right away when I found out on Saturday.

The issue is that this child will only be with me for a few more weeks and I do not want to go out and buy another carseat for this child.

Obviously, I have to tell the parents why dck was not in a car seat and that I need for them to provide one for me.

how do you approach a very sensitive issue like this regarding the childs weight and the need for them to supply the seat???'

[Thriftylady]

I have a dck that I pick up from school daily. the child is kinder and very large for their age. at age 6 this child is about 110lbs and about 4ft5

Well the dck broke the car seat on Friday, my DH is the one who picks up dck. My DH did tell me that it broke and that the child was too big for it we need another one. We

had some tragic issue occur over the weekend and I had a break down. I forgot all about the carseat issue.

Well yesterday my DH picked up DCK forgetting all about the seat. Of course DCK went and told the parents that they were transported without the seat, dcm came in today and went off on me.

100% my fault. I should have talked to the parents about it right away when I found out on Saturday.

The issue is that this child will only be with me for a few more weeks and I do not want to go out and buy another carseat for this child.

Obviously, I have to tell the parents why dck was not in a car seat and that I need for them to provide one for me.

how do you approach a very sensitive issue like this regarding the childs weight and the need for them to supply the seat???'

Well considering child is leaving anyway, I would term for "going off on me". If you can't speak to me respectfully, I can't provide care for your child.

[Leigh]

I'd either ask the parents to let you borrow their seat or put the child in an inexpensive booster seat. This kid is almost big enough for a seat belt (4'9"). I'm curious, though, as to which carseat is actually rated high enough for a child of 110 pounds...I've not heard of one going over 90, and most don't go that high.

[Unregistered]

In our state, 110 lbs doesn't need even a booster.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

My boosters are max of 100 pounds. The bigger issue seems to be mom's denial of his weight issue. A hundred ten pounds at 4'5" is a large child, so she may be getting angry at you over something she has lost control of.

Sorry you had a tough weekend and got yelled at to top it off! Hope all is well!

[MarinaVanessa]

Here's how my conversation would go:

"DCM I was unable to really speak to you the previous day about the carseat issue because, of course, emotions were high so now I need to speak to you so you decide how to proceed. On [date] my carseat was broken when DCK [action: was getting in/out of it, jumped on it etc] and I completely forgot to talk to you about it.

I was able to do some research into replacing the car seat that I was using for him but I'm having a hard time finding a car seat with a back that is safe for his weight that's also affordable. The car seats with a back that I've looked into only go to the maximum weight limit of 100 lbs and retail for about $300 or more which just isn't an option for me. I did however find a booster seat that reaches 120 lbs so if you're okay with him using one of those and not having a back then I'll go out and get one. It'll run me about $30 at Target.

If you're not happy with that option you can always leave me a car seat every day or if you have a spare one you'd like to leave here until you don't need daycare anymore that will work too. What do you think?"

This way I'd be talking about the weight issue without talking about HIS weight kwim? Make it about the car seat.

[Blackcat31]

I'd either ask the parents to let you borrow their seat or put the child in an inexpensive booster seat. This kid is almost big enough for a seat belt (4'9"). I'm curious, though, as to which carseat is actually rated high enough for a child of 110 pounds...I've not heard of one going over 90, and most don't go that high.

This is the same thing I was wondering/thinking.

I thought 80lbs was the max for HAVING to have a booster or car seat. ??

[Josiegirl]

You don't really need to explain why it broke do you? Just explain you completely forgot that your booster seat broke because of some tragic issues going on at the time. But now that leaves you without a booster seat for him, could they leave theirs with you at d/o so you can pick him up from school(does he come before school?). OR they can pick him up themselves.

I'm sorry your weekend was a tough one, and hope you're okay.

[MarinaVanessa]

This is the same thing I was wondering/thinking.

I thought 80lbs was the max for HAVING to have a booster or car seat. ??

It's different from state to state.

In CA for example we have stricter regulations.
- Children under the age of 8 MUST be secured in a car seat or booster seat in the back seat. Can't be in a front seat at all if there's a back seat.
- Only kids who are 8 years old or older OR are 4' 9"or taller can use a regular seat belt in the back seat. Weight is not an option.
- Infants under 2 years old have to ride in a rear-facing car seat unless the child weighs 40 or more pounds OR is 40 or more inches tall. And the child has to be within the seats' manufacturer requirements etc.

This 110 lbs kid would need one of those expensive car seats that have 120 lb weight limit on them otherwise the only other option would be to use a booster seat.

[BabyMonkeys]

I would just tell them that he has outgrown the seats that you provide, and they will need to provide his seat from now on. Did you already give her a reason why he wasn't in a carseat?

[daycare]

This is the same thing I was wondering/thinking.

I thought 80lbs was the max for HAVING to have a booster or car seat. ??

the law used to be 80 lbs. now its not by weight any more it's by height. I did talk to a "car seat tech expert" so he calls himself and he said you can find seats to suit a child that size, but they will cost you a pretty penny.

I did not tell them why dck was not in a carseat. I just told dcm that I would talk to my DH and ask exactly happened. I honestly still don't know how the seat got broken and my DH is the one who found it broken.

[Blackcat31]

It's different from state to state.

In CA for example we have stricter regulations.
- Children under the age of 8 MUST be secured in a car seat or booster seat in the back seat. Can't be in a front seat at all if there's a back seat.
- Only kids who are 8 years old or older OR are 4' 9"or taller can use a regular seat belt in the back seat. Weight is not an option.
- Infants under 2 years old have to ride in a rear-facing car seat unless the child weighs 40 or more pounds OR is 40 or more inches tall. And the child has to be within the seats' manufacturer requirements etc.

This 110 lbs kid would need one of those expensive car seats that have 120 lb weight limit on them otherwise the only other option would be to use a booster seat.

the law used to be 80 lbs. now its not by weight any more it's by height. I did talk to a "car seat tech expert" so he calls himself and he said you can find seats to suit a child that size, but they will cost you a pretty penny.

I did not tell them why dck was not in a carseat. I just told dcm that I would talk to my DH and ask exactly happened. I honestly still don't know how the seat got broken and my DH is the one who found it broken.

Learn something new every day.

I don't transport daycare kids and I haven't had a child of my own need a booster/car seat since 1996 so...

[sharlan]

It's different from state to state.

In CA for example we have stricter regulations.
- Children under the age of 8 MUST be secured in a car seat or booster seat in the back seat. Can't be in a front seat at all if there's a back seat.
- Only kids who are 8 years old or older OR are 4' 9"or taller can use a regular seat belt in the back seat. Weight is not an option.
- Infants under 2 years old have to ride in a rear-facing car seat unless the child weighs 40 or more pounds OR is 40 or more inches tall. And the child has to be within the seats' manufacturer requirements etc.

This 110 lbs kid would need one of those expensive car seats that have 120 lb weight limit on them otherwise the only other option would be to use a booster seat.

This does not go into effect until 1/2017 I believe.

[sharlan]

From the CHP website............


Children under the age of 8 must be secured in a car seat or booster seat in the back seat.


•Children who are 8 years of age OR have reached 4' 9" in height may be secured by a safety belt in the back seat.


•Passengers who are 16 years of age and over are subject to California's Mandatory Seat Belt law.


•Effective January 1, 2017 - Children under 2 years of age shall ride in a rear-facing car seat unless the child weighs 40 or more pounds OR is 40 or more inches tall. The child shall be secured in a manner that complies with the height and weight limits specified by the manufacturer of the car seat.

[Crystal]

Aside from the carseat/weight issue, I would DEFINITELY contact your analyst to let them know what happened. I am not sure, but this could be considered an unusual incident, AND, because he was not in the carseat, you were not following regs. If Mom was as upset as you say, there is a very real possibility that she will report it. Better to self-report than have a substantiated complaint investigation.

Sorry you are having to deal with this