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I have posted about this dcb before. Mom wanted me to not release child to dad but she had nothing stating I couldn't so we moved on. Dad was supposed to pick up last weeK Friday but mom came instead. She said dad was drunk and suicidal and couldn't come and pick up dcb. This Monday mom said she is filing a restraining order against dad and requesting full custody and she has a friend of dad's stating he has done questionable things with dcb present. She is hoping the judge signs off on everything today since tomorrow is dad's pickup day again. I hope she gets everything cleared today too so I can have the docs but dcb has shown up at random before wanting to give dcb hug and called to say hi. I am trying to put together a game plan for if dcd shows up tomorrow after I get the docs. I have met him a few times before and he seems OK but I can really see him getting upset. The good thing is that dh will be home and he is my security. I hate being put in this situation.
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Well without a court order you can't stop dad. But once you get copies of the court order, I would just tell dad he cannot call or come on the property until the order is lifted or amended. -
Mom just gave me the signed court document but dad has not been served. I think dcb should stay home until dad is served. I don't want to be the one to tell the dad.Comment
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OK that makes sense but I still don't want to be the one to tell him he can no longer see his child and he has a restraining order against him. I am thinking if he shows up I will have dh meet him outside the house and handle this. I don't want to make this a big issue or have other kids around if he gets upset.Comment
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You can call the police and have them accompany you when you or your DH tells him. You can also have them accompany you if you want to serve him the papers. I am in Canada though so it might be different here.Comment
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Yeah, I would let police know, even call your non emergency number and see what the protocol would be. You obviously don't want a scene and you want to protect DCB from witnessing this possible incident, it could really destroy him, poor thing won't and shouldn't understand.
I agree, I wouldn't want to be in the middle of this situation, do what you can to protect the little one and others in your care. None of them need to witness any adult situations like this.Comment
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Completely agree. Also, if he's suicidal and behaving questionably, I would NOT even open the door to him but be calling 911. This is how tragedy's play out.
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But the provider only knows this because of the mom.
I've had mom's claim all sorts of stuff about their soon-to-be ex that wasn't at all true.Comment
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This does happen, but I guess I wouldn't assume either way. I would call the police to be there just in case. I wouldn't however say the child couldn't come until the papers were served, because if they are using the sheriff it can take weeks to get them served. The sheriff will go to one address. If that person isn't there, they take it back to the office and it has to go back to the court to be redone so the sheriff will go again. And they only serve from 8 am to 5 pm. So he will be home after 6? Sorry. That is why when I got my divorce and temp protective order when I got divorced my lawyer had me pay for a process server that would try multiple addresses and would do it at the time we thought he would be somewhere. I didn't tell my ex the papers were coming (he had no clue I had filed for divorce, for my safety), but had he known he would have dodged the papers as long as possible had I used the sheriff I could have been fighting it for ages. I guess it could be different in different places, but that was my experience.Comment
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That's your state. OP lives in TX.
I live in MN.
When someone files a restraining order here it is granted TEMPORARILY for 5 days. ANYONE can say ANYTHING to get one. In 5 days the person filed against can go to court and contest whatever the filer says. If the filer lied, the restraining order is denied and it's like it never happened.
IF the filer has enough proof then it's granted for a period of 1 or 2 years depending and is usually very specific.
In my state its VERY common for a parent (usually the mother) to make up all sorts of stuff about the soon to be ex in regards to the child so that the mom gets custody
However, my thoughts on this situation is that the OP ONLY knows what the mom has told her. HEARSAY.
If I were the OP, I would tell the mom that I would NOT accept the child into care until the dad has been served the restraining order and unless it was a granted NOT TEMPORARY (as in a few days) order I would not accept the child into care simply because of the liability alone until the order was addressed in court more deeply than just the initial temporary order. TOO risky.
It's not the providers responsibility to notify the dad or anything else in this situation. Her only responsibility is to keep herself and the other children in care safe. If that means denying care to this family (until it's settled down and more legalized in the courts) because someone else's drama ESPECIALLY dangerous drama is not the OP's problem.Comment
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Reading up a bit on Texas law and it appears to work similarly to MN. Temporary order issued for MAX of 20 days.
Defendent has a right to appeal it and state case. If petitioner (mom) does not have any actual proof of what she's claiming, the order is denied. If she has adequate proof or dad doesnt contest it, the order is granted for UP TO 2 yrs.
Right now, the DCM in this case appears to only be in the "he said/she-said" part of the process.Comment
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Oh wow if that is how it works then I agree with BlackCat 100%.Comment
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