How to Explain to Mom?

[Ariana]

Totes cray-cray!

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Best thread ever! Lol!

In all seriousness though, have you read nannyde's book? She is the mom that wants to be a stay at home mom but doesn't want the responsability of being home with her child. So she is going to live vicariously through you with control. I am having this situation right now too. Just be strong and stick to you rules. You will feel so much better in the end about it.

[Mom2Two]

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She is the mom that wants to be a stay at home mom but ...she is going to live vicariously through you with control. I am having this situation right now too. Just be strong and stick to you rules. You will feel so much better in the end about it.

That makes so much sense. Yeah...make a choice dcm. But I can't deal with being micromanaged. I have my rules for a reason!

[Mom2Two]

I was closed this morning due to an appointment, so I'll have to see how things go tomorrow.

[Mom2Two]

This morning I ended up deciding that things probably wouldn't work out with this family. To me the things that mom said in her email were a way of thinking that were very different from how I see things, and I couldn't see any way to turn it around.

Like when mom wrote that she had felt "beyond frustrated at feeling under the thumb of the daycare providers" that she'd worked with over the years (with her older kids too). And also that her email had a long list of imagined insults that she thought I was giving her.

So I was thinking that unless she apologized this morning, I wouldn't be able to keep working with her.

But dcg never came. Mom texted and said that dcg wouldn't be here today, and probably wasn't coming ever again. And I feel like it's for the best. I will just send mom her final statement (no need to collect $, I get paid in advance) and my EIN number for taxes.

But I sure am surprised that my position is so hard for her to understand. I think most of us feel like "good fences make good neighbors" and that about sums up why I have policies for my daycare. I guess she doesn't see things quite that way. She just felt like I was being unreasonable.

[sharlan]

I would send her a "termination of services" letter and let it go at that. That way she knows the child isn't coming back no matter what.

[Blackcat31]

This morning I ended up deciding that things probably wouldn't work out with this family. To me the things that mom said in her email were a way of thinking that were very different from how I see things, and I couldn't see any way to turn it around.

Like when mom wrote that she had felt "beyond frustrated at feeling under the thumb of the daycare providers" that she'd worked with over the years (with her older kids too). And also that her email had a long list of imagined insults that she thought I was giving her.

So I was thinking that unless she apologized this morning, I wouldn't be able to keep working with her.

But dcg never came. Mom texted and said that dcg wouldn't be here today, and probably wasn't coming ever again. And I feel like it's for the best. I will just send mom her final statement (no need to collect $, I get paid in advance) and my EIN number for taxes.

But I sure am surprised that my position is so hard for her to understand. I think most of us feel like "good fences make good neighbors" and that about sums up why I have policies for my daycare. I guess she doesn't see things quite that way. She just felt like I was being unreasonable.

Im sorry this worked out the way it did.

In a way though I'm not sorry.... you stood your ground and that is important because you have to like your job to do your job well and although it's hard to get parents to understand what group care really means (we simply cannot cater to individual needs, requests etc) I think that many parents get their first real world lesson in parenting when they are told "No, your child is not the ONLY special child in class". That lesson is important.

I think alot of parents feel that since they pay us directly they should have more control over the decisions we make in regards to their child but truth be told their child is part of a bigger community and the ONLY choice a parent has in regards to group care is whether they can agree and live by the rules the provider has in place or not.

If they can't then they need to decide to not enroll and it looks like this family did exactly that. It doesn't mean either or you were right or wrong, it just means that you both learned a valuable lesson about what's important to you and what you will or wont put up with.

It's kind of like when your child goes to Kindergarten and you suddenly realize that your child has a life beyond you and that although you feel like your kid is the ONLY kid that matters, you see all the other kindy mom's with the same scared look on their faces and understand, I mean truly understand that you wont always be able to control everything your child does and everything your child is fed, told, exposed to, etc.... It's frightening for a mother to have to let go a little bit but as a parent, we all have to do it.

Kudos for standing your ground though! That's awesome!

[Thriftylady]

Telling people no sometimes leads to this. But I wouldn't think twice about her terming. Honestly from what you have posted about it, I bet you were considering it anyway. I mean if she really felt that way about you, you don't want to deal with her anyway. I hope you replace quickly.

[Josiegirl]

Sounds like from her experiences of being under the thumbs of daycare providers, maybe it's time she stayed home and did it herself.
You'll find someone easier to work with!