The Trouble with Toddlers...

[daycarediva]

I have two toddlers, 20mo and 19mo.

20mo likes to dump two bins out and transfer the contents back and forth. Self entertains for periods of time. Assists with pick up. Has a TON of play/pretend skills.

19mo quite literally dumps every bin of toys- all day long. He does almost zero playing/picking up of toys. He cannot self entertain for more than a couple of minutes. His only attempt at play us dumping out the cars, picking up every car, saying "CAR!" and then putting it down. He does NO cleaning up. Freaks out when even asked.

The other kids are starting to get annoyed with him. When they go get something, it's a pile of sorting through everything. It's disrupting their play. He also likes to take toys (argh) and put toys on the table (which we leave clear for art during free play).

Also 19mo-up/down from the table. I don't use high chairs and I've never had a child NOT understand this quickly. Also wants to carry his cup everywhere, which I don't allow. I just started putting his cup up so he has to ask for it thinking that would help since he is quite verbal. Nope, he drinks the other cups. Its been 3 weeks of CONSTANT redirection at meals with ZERO improvement.

Any ideas to stop or limit the toy dumping? I expect it, and I have bins of toddler toys for them, but it literally occupies him for 2 minutes. The second they're on the floor, he's going after the preschoolers toys.

Should I break down and buy a table height chair with a booster? I would HATE to resort to this, first time in 7 years!

[Play Care]

I have two toddlers who are 21 months and both sound a lot like your second guy.

I've rarely had a toddler be that mature. It's why I have booster seats ::

[Ariana]

I would say just meet him where he is to lessen your own stress. He may need special provisions and since kids are on different playing fields in terms of intelligence he might not be the brightest bulb in the pack. Maybe give him a booster and a sippy cup and his own bin of toys that he needs to clean up. He is not allowed access to any other bins.

I never used boosters with my own kids and had no issues but to be honest a lot of kids I am seeing now have zero self help skills and can't even sit up at a table properly. I currently have a DCG 2 and a DCB 2.5...both still in high chairs and both still use sippy cups I am working on the cups but sitting at the table is a no go.

[mamamanda]

I will say my 17mo sounds much like your 20 mo, yet I've literally had 3 & 4 yo who behaved like your 19mo At this age its pretty developmentally normal to want to dump, but I would really encourage him helping with clean up as well. Make it fun. A race, or sing a song while cleaning.

With my toys that have a lot of little pieces, I resorted to buying bins with lids that close securely. I found some at the dollar store that have a special flip down clasp. Very few of my toddlers can open them independently, but I teach the older children how to work the clasps once they show me I can trust them to play with the set and pick it up and return it to its place before moving on to the next set. That's how I manage pieces with the mixed ages, but bigger toys, dolls, things that don't have loose pieces all get thrown into a toy box. Toddlers have access to that at all times and sometimes they even play in the toy box. We all help toss toys back in at the end of play time.

Sounds like you do have totes specifically for dumping. Each time you see him dump I would move him back to the dumping tote and model dumping and picking back up. If its something soft like bean bags you could even teach him to gently toss them back in to make pick up more fun.

As for sitting at the table, I wouldn't do high chairs, but for your own sanity you might try booster seats with a buckle. I place my toddlers in these until they are tall enough to reach the table without a struggle and I buckle them in for safety's sake. It does helps the wiggly ones too, though. But they eat off a plate on the table like everyone else. If they aren't encouraged to eat at the table at home it will take a lot longer for them to get it without some sort of visual.

[midaycare]

I do boosters for everyone until they are 3. It's like a grown up thing here not to have one. My dck's would looooove to have the opportunity to run around the minute my back os turned. I have very comfy couches upstairs and many breakables in a glass case. When they are 3, they really "get it" about staying in a seat.

[Unregistered]

I've had many 20 month old children do the dumping. When I have lots of toddlers I limit toys with pieces. I have lots of self contained toys or individual toys like big trucks. I have one of the toys with the levers that looks like a bubble gum machine and has four/five balls. They love toys like that where they put something in and watch it roll down. Also, it doesn't have many pieces.

A few years ago I had two girls who were 25/26 months, a 13 month old two days a week and another 15 month old the opposite days, and an infant. The toddlers didn't play with anything liked I expected. I had older kids for quite some time before that. I also never had such a young group with the oldest being just over 2. The girls Just liked to push the two grocery carts filled with toys around. I had to limit food in the kitchen area to about three plates, six pieces of food, etc. or it was all dumped out. Very typical! I had lots of toys that were only one or two pieces. If I had FP animals/people in a bin it could only be about 6. I know that's hard with older kids. If I had a group of older kids I would have given bins to the older kids to play with that have more toys in them and then put them up when they are done. Gradually I got another girl about 2 1/2 and a 4 yr. old girl and the younger ones started to actually "play". But really they were "playing" before. Just in a young toddler way. I really didn't have realistic expectations for awhile! I wanted more involved play!

Since they were the oldest in the group they really didn't see other kids pick up and it was a bit of a hassle to get them to pick up. Even after years of experience I wasn't prepared for how these kids played. Also, each child was an only child, so they didn't have older sibs to model after.

I've never had kids get up and down. I suppose it could be this generation. I see lots of family members who let their kids to quirky things at the dinner table. Maybe he does this at home.

[Unregistered]

I also had a few Easter buckets that look like 5 qt. ice cream pails. I set those out and those girls loved to carry a few blocks, people, etc in them....dump them out, fill them back up and carry them around some more. I had come from teaching kindergarten and also working at a family agency before going back into child care. Really took me awhile to appreciate their kind of play. Good luck!