Parent Dilemma (Time w/child)

[Unregistered]

I've scoured the threads about parents spending time with their children and it seems to be a very common occurrence. Parents pay a fee and feel they need to get their money's worth. I have a small home daycare, three babies (my max for the Navy). One of the babies is my own so I have two DCF's. One family has been in home daycare for a long time as they have an older child. They both work but they are the type that will spend any waking moment with their kids if possible. They are for sure my golden family. Whoever works latest drops off and whoever gets off earliest picks up. They've even mentioned they try not to have their kids in care for longer than 8 hours a day. But then there is my second family. They are first time parents and I watch their 4 month old. She is a breastfed baby and definitely held a lot which in turn makes it hard here because she does not love being put down...which turns into lots and lots of screaming. Mom is a teacher and dad is active duty, but has 2 to 3 days off a week. She still comes to daycare 5 days a week. Even on teacher holidays she is here. My first to arrive and last to leave. We have a contract end date since mom will be home in the summer (thank god we did that) but any advice on how to gently recommend they do a similar schedule as my other family? Drop off will always be early since they both need to be to work around 7/7:30, but dad is off by 8 am multiple days a week and mom leaves work around 3:45. Yet baby is here until almost 5 every day. I've even mentioned how my other family does last to work drops off, first to be off picks up and the comment was, "yeah I'm sure they make good money so they can just pay for DC and not use it, but we cant do that..we pay for it so we need to use it." Yes BUT your daughter cries a good 50 percent of the day and clearly wants her parents.

I'm literally counting down the days until June...

[Thriftylady]

This is why I work on contracted hours. When we do the contract, we set the hours and the hours include plenty of drive time. I will never go back to just having hours of operation again.

[finsup]

I've scoured the threads about parents spending time with their children and it seems to be a very common occurrence. Parents pay a fee and feel they need to get their money's worth. I have a small home daycare, three babies (my max for the Navy). One of the babies is my own so I have two DCF's. One family has been in home daycare for a long time as they have an older child. They both work but they are the type that will spend any waking moment with their kids if possible. They are for sure my golden family. Whoever works latest drops off and whoever gets off earliest picks up. They've even mentioned they try not to have their kids in care for longer than 8 hours a day. But then there is my second family. They are first time parents and I watch their 4 month old. She is a breastfed baby and definitely held a lot which in turn makes it hard here because she does not love being put down...which turns into lots and lots of screaming. Mom is a teacher and dad is active duty, but has 2 to 3 days off a week. She still comes to daycare 5 days a week. Even on teacher holidays she is here. My first to arrive and last to leave. We have a contract end date since mom will be home in the summer (thank god we did that) but any advice on how to gently recommend they do a similar schedule as my other family? Drop off will always be early since they both need to be to work around 7/7:30, but dad is off by 8 am multiple days a week and mom leaves work around 3:45. Yet baby is here until almost 5 every day. I've even mentioned how my other family does last to work drops off, first to be off picks up and the comment was, "yeah I'm sure they make good money so they can just pay for DC and not use it, but we cant do that..we pay for it so we need to use it." Yes BUT your daughter cries a good 50 percent of the day and clearly wants her parents.

I'm literally counting down the days until June...

Don't recomend, just do. Send a notice stating your new hours will be and any holidays you want to be closed on. I had a family like this, would send their kid no matter what. Dcd was off 3ish days a week, kid was still here. It annoyed me to no end. But technically, they paid for the spot they can use it however they want. I knew they wouldn't change so I changed my hours My big thing was sending on a Friday when he wasn't working and I had no other kids. Switched to only being open Monday to Thursday (didn't lower rates) and at least got that improved. They're doing what works best for them, you can and should do what works best for you. Or, you could give them the option of a lower rate if they do hours the way you want.

[laundrymom]

At contract end I wouldn't renew. I would be full when they tried to come back.
I actually think I would give them two weeks notice. Let them know it's not working for you.
I dont typically give reasons but if you must I would cite "infant not adjusting to group care setting."

[mommyneedsadayoff]

At contract end I wouldn't renew. I would be full when they tried to come back.
I actually think I would give them two weeks notice. Let them know it's not working for you.
I dont typically give reasons but if you must I would cite "infant not adjusting to group care setting."

I agree. They need to get their money's worth? So money is far more important to them than spending time with their child? I only work with working parents. If they are not working, they should be with their kid, not me. (If they need to run errands or go to an appt, I don't care about keeping their kid, but I don't do socialization care and I don't do care for parents who just want "me" time everday)

[Blackcat31]

I sell a service.

I don't dictate why a parent chooses to buy that service.

I simply charge according to the "services" they choose to buy.

Like anything the more services you use, the more it costs.

[Play Care]

I sell a service.

I don't dictate why a parent chooses to buy that service.

I simply charge according to the "services" they choose to buy.

Like anything the more services you use, the more it costs.

I also think it's not the parents responsibility to give me a "break." I realize that even if I close for the day or early, it's no guarentee that they will spend that time with their child.

[Unregistered]

If baby was doing well here it wouldn't be as big of a deal. But she's been with me since she was 6 weeks old and still cries a lot. They say she doesn't cry that much at home, but she is high needs here and with two very mobile older babies I can't give her all that much attention like at home. Maybe this should have been more of a vent thread because I don't think there is anything I can say to get them to keep her more. I've already made them aware of the amount she cries by keeping a log for a few days of exactly what she did and when she cried and the length of crying. They just said wow that's a totally different baby than at home.

I broke it down and I get about 2 dollars an hour from them..she's in care about 50 hrs a week. As a mom myself, it breaks my heart that they put a price tag on their newborn at a whopping 2 bucks an hour. I send them pictures and they even made the comment of how she thinks we're her parents!

I'm not asking for a break, if they need me I'm more than happy to provide care for them. But when I'm told they had to wake her up to get here and mom is at home asleep..that's not needing me. I'm not here to raise kids, I'm here to provide quality childcare when the parents are unable to care for baby themselves. I get errands need to be done and gym is a priority. I had a high needs baby and understand how hard it is to get things done with a fussy baby. I work through the military and even the childcare monitor and director emphasize the importance of parents being present with their children as much as possible.

So Im switching this to a vent! Lol

[Unregistered]

I also can't change my hours since I'm a home operating through the Navy..so that's why I was originally seeking advice on communicating that baby needs her parents if they're available..but I honestly think I needed a vent.. I think it's clear they want to use as much time as possible so they feel like the expense is justified.

[Ariana]

If baby was doing well here it wouldn't be as big of a deal. But she's been with me since she was 6 weeks old and still cries a lot. They say she doesn't cry that much at home, but she is high needs here and with two very mobile older babies I can't give her all that much attention like at home. Maybe this should have been more of a vent thread because I don't think there is anything I can say to get them to keep her more. I've already made them aware of the amount she cries by keeping a log for a few days of exactly what she did and when she cried and the length of crying. They just said wow that's a totally different baby than at home.

I broke it down and I get about 2 dollars an hour from them..she's in care about 50 hrs a week. As a mom myself, it breaks my heart that they put a price tag on their newborn at a whopping 2 bucks an hour. I send them pictures and they even made the comment of how she thinks we're her parents!

I'm not asking for a break, if they need me I'm more than happy to provide care for them. But when I'm told they had to wake her up to get here and mom is at home asleep..that's not needing me. I'm not here to raise kids, I'm here to provide quality childcare when the parents are unable to care for baby themselves. I get errands need to be done and gym is a priority. I had a high needs baby and understand how hard it is to get things done with a fussy baby. I work through the military and even the childcare monitor and director emphasize the importance of parents being present with their children as much as possible.

So Im switching this to a vent! Lol

I think this is probably the hardest thing as a provider to accept. Not everyone is the parent we are or wish them to be. We made the difficult choice to stay home, mainly to take care of our own babies so we don't understand someone not making that choice and that is ok. What is important is that you don't let that judgment cloud how you are as a person and a provider. That little baby probably needs you more than you know. Her own parents barely want to spend time with her. Think about that and give her a big hug. As long as the parents are paying me to provide what I can to their child I am just going to deal with the child and forget about them.

I have a little girl in care that is very similar. She gets her stability here in my home and runs to me every day laughing. The parents are missing out but that is not my problem and is not going to affect me.

[Unregistered]

I definitely give her as much affection and love as possible. I usually have my older babies napping at the same time so while they sleep I typically hold her the entire time and give her lots of play time. Of course she loves that, and my husband is really good at giving her attention if he's home and I'm busy. But there's times she has to be in the pack n play or has to be in the bouncer seat watching the big girls and she isn't a fan of all that. I'm not allowed to use jumpers or bumbo seats so I'm limited as to where she can be while the big girls are doing their thing..

If only I could just shake them and say "YOUR BABY NEEDS YOU!" Especially so young! At first I figured I'd just take her right back after summer but now I know I'll be sure her spot is full with an older baby around the age of my other two. I honestly don't think I'll ever take a baby under 6 months again!

[Snowmom]

Try changing your rates.

8 hours of care is $X
9 hours of care is $15 higher
10 hours of care is $15 higher than 9 hours.

I bet they'll change their tune.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I sell a service too, but my service is only for parents who are working or cannot physically watch their child. That is my way of weeding these types of parents out. It is okay to be done with this family if you feel that is the best thing. If you are upset with it now, it is not going to get better over the next few months and honestly, it would not surprise me if mom comes to you closer to school letting out to see if she can keep her in care through the summer too. It is up to you and what you can handle, but I don't want to work with parents like that because it makes me upset and feel bad EVERY DAY and that is no fun Ultimately, the baby is theirs and their responsibility, so you should not be expected to fill a void they refuse to fill themselves. Just my two cents and good luck to you!

[Unregistered]

I also can't change my hours since I'm a home operating through the Navy..so that's why I was originally seeking advice on communicating that baby needs her parents if they're available..but I honestly think I needed a vent.. I think it's clear they want to use as much time as possible so they feel like the expense is justified.

Who dictates your hours?
I do contracted hours and I don't care what the parents do when they are paying me.

[Unregistered]

Who dictates your hours?
I do contracted hours and I don't care what the parents do when they are paying me.

The Navy Child Development Program dictates the hours. I need to be available 6-6. I can be picky about parents needing those hours, but with this being my first go around I didn't realize how choosy I could have been. My veteran home care parent told me that their old provider straight up told them she wasn't there to raise their child so if they weren't working or at school or doing a quick errand, they were to pick up their child. I'm definitely taking this as a learning experience and I will know how to conduct my next interview to weed out what I don't want in my home. Like my monitor told me, I need to be sure the family is a good fit for MY program just like the parent needs to make sure I'm a good fit for them. Our contract clearly has an end date so if mom does try to extend over summer I'll politely tell her I think it's important for her to spend the time with her child or put her in center based care.