DCF Is Quitting Via Text

[Provider_Manda]

So yesterday evening I came down with a terrible stomach bug. I made the decision to close for the day, trust me it was the best thing to do. Well my dcf that I've had some issues with (vaccine reaction, snack drawer etc.) decided to send me a text last informing me that she is going to be taking them to a center, and did state require a 1-2 wks notice. Already sick, and not wanting to deal with it, I told her 2 wks. She then writes me back late last night and says, you know it's nothing personal right?
Well under the circumstances, the way it was handled I do feel irate. Dh is happy, but I have had this family's kids for 4 1/2 years. I'm aggravated that she done it that way. How it was said. Just on and on. I feel like I should just chalk up my loss and say don't worry about the two weeks. How should I respond to her personal comment? I don't want my feeling to get in the way. I guess I need to start advertising two opens.. Which I don't want to do. But I'm losing over $200/week now
This family has been giving me fits for probably the 4 1/2 years I've had them, but I'm connected to the kids and I just feel like my services meant nothing if you can't even tell me in person.

[Rockgirl]

I agree....that is a lousy way to give notice. I'm sorry that's how they chose to deal with it after being with you for so long. And if this family had so much trouble following policies with you, they are likely in for a very rude awakening at a center!

Hopefully a wonderful family will sign up soon!

[Blackcat31]

So yesterday evening I came down with a terrible stomach bug. I made the decision to close for the day, trust me it was the best thing to do. Well my dcf that I've had some issues with (vaccine reaction, snack drawer etc.) decided to send me a text last informing me that she is going to be taking them to a center, and did state require a 1-2 wks notice. Already sick, and not wanting to deal with it, I told her 2 wks. She then writes me back late last night and says, you know it's nothing personal right?
Well under the circumstances, the way it was handled I do feel irate. Dh is happy, but I have had this family's kids for 4 1/2 years. I'm aggravated that she done it that way. How it was said. Just on and on. I feel like I should just chalk up my loss and say don't worry about the two weeks. How should I respond to her personal comment? I don't want my feeling to get in the way. I guess I need to start advertising two opens.. Which I don't want to do. But I'm losing over $200/week now
This family has been giving me fits for probably the 4 1/2 years I've had them, but I'm connected to the kids and I just feel like my services meant nothing if you can't even tell me in person.

Her comments about it not being personal ARE meant to be that one final dig to you about who SHE really thinks runs the show. It was meant to tick you off and she succeeded.

I wouldnt have expected anything less from her.

If I were you, I would be nothing but 100% professional and would inform her very matter of factly that yes, she does owe you in FULL for two weeks and that it needs to be paid by X date.

I would not discuss any sadness in regards to the child leaving nor would I mention her rude behavior (in regards to how she gave notice) and act like it's just any other day.

I guarantee you she will make more comments about the personal relationship you/her kid has etc and about feelings but I would simply not acknowledge them any more than to say something like "Yes, it can be tough but over the years I've learned that this is business and since family's needs change all the time I've gotten used to it. I will miss Susie but I wish you guys lots of luck at the center."

The continued comments will happen. She wants it to be about her and she wants to be the center of attention and the one driving this bus. If I were you I'd be two steps ahead of her the whole time and if she gives you ANY trouble the last two weeks, I'd term immediately on the spot.

I think considering the grief this family has given you, you should be rejoicing that they are leaving. The comfort is that she (DCM) will find out pretty quickly at a center that she is NOT in charge and that the grass is not always greener on the other side.

[Leigh]

Really, this family has been giving you fits. Perhaps, subconsciously, you're upset that YOU weren't the one that severed the relationship, given that you have had many reasons to do so. It hurts a little when you have let things go, tried to work it out, and the other person is the one to end it.

[MunchkinWrangler]

I agree with Blackcat 100%. Take all the emotion out of it. What she did was lousy but don't react, just act.

Require the 2 weeks paid whether the child attends or not, get it in writing. Wash your hands. Sounds like this family has been a thorn in your side as it is so it's for the best.

Make new policies and make them clear with the families you'll be interviewing, now you know what you really won't put up with, i.e. taking snacks out of the kitchen drawer, not picking up their child when requested, etc.

It's truly a blessing in disguise! Get well soon!

[mommyneedsadayoff]

"Nope, it is business! Final two weeks payment is due XX date. Good luck at the new center!"

Just like BC said, don't let her know she got to you a little and be happy that you are done with her craziness! And boy does she ever have a wake up call when it comes to going to a center! Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if you get a text in a few months to see if you can watch her kids again:: And now is the time to be picky and very thorough when choosing the new families! Find one who give you the least amount of drama as possible!:hug:

[midaycare]

BC is 100% right.

I had a situation where a family left me, only not by text. Just a casual, "Hey, we're going to the YMCA because they do more with the kids there." I was ticked. I do curriculum, music, art, Spanish, ZooPhonics, Emotional Intelligence, etc. I have 7 acres to play on and a floor of my home exclusively devoted to daycare. Not to mention healthy food.

Dck lasted 2 weeks. She was difficult, and I was honest when dck acted out (probably the real reason they left). The YMCA called for pickup every single day because dck was so out of control. After two weeks they had to find someone to come to their home to babysit. *Feeling smug* ::

[laundrymom]

"Yes dcm, two weeks is in our contract and why would I think this were personal? We are not friends. I provide a service to families and needs change all the time. Be sure to bring a signed, written termination letter with dates and the final two week payment when you drop off tomorrow."

[thrivingchildcarecom]

It is hard sometimes to not take it personally, but that is the best thing to do. Do you have a Withdrawal Policy or form? If not, maybe think about creating one. I post mine on the website so that when the time comes, they can fill it out and submit it. I HATE doing any business transactions through text! I think its unprofessional and impersonal. The form handles all that. Also, make sure you indicate the two week notice in your contract as well. I made the decision to require a two week deposit at enrollment many years ago to avoid being left in the lurch. I actually had more than one parent go on vacation and never return! The two week deposit really works.

[Ariana]

Her comments about it not being personal ARE meant to be that one final dig to you about who SHE really thinks runs the show. It was meant to tick you off and she succeeded.

I wouldnt have expected anything less from her.

If I were you, I would be nothing but 100% professional and would inform her very matter of factly that yes, she does owe you in FULL for two weeks and that it needs to be paid by X date.

I would not discuss any sadness in regards to the child leaving nor would I mention her rude behavior (in regards to how she gave notice) and act like it's just any other day.

I guarantee you she will make more comments about the personal relationship you/her kid has etc and about feelings but I would simply not acknowledge them any more than to say something like "Yes, it can be tough but over the years I've learned that this is business and since family's needs change all the time I've gotten used to it. I will miss Susie but I wish you guys lots of luck at the center."

The continued comments will happen. She wants it to be about her and she wants to be the center of attention and the one driving this bus. If I were you I'd be two steps ahead of her the whole time and if she gives you ANY trouble the last two weeks, I'd term immediately on the spot.

I think considering the grief this family has given you, you should be rejoicing that they are leaving. The comfort is that she (DCM) will find out pretty quickly at a center that she is NOT in charge and that the grass is not always greener on the other side.

^^^ Well said! She will look back at her time with you and realize she was such an idiot. Trust me. A Centre is not going to put up with her bs.

[Ariana]

"Yes dcm, two weeks is in our contract and why would I think this were personal? We are not friends. I provide a service to families and needs change all the time. Be sure to bring a signed, written termination letter with dates and the final two week payment when you drop off tomorrow."

Love this! happyface

[Provider_Manda]

She messaged me earlier today asking if I was mad, then texted later to see if I was reopening tomorrow.
I just gave short simple replies. We shall see how. She acts tomorrow.

[MunchkinWrangler]

She messaged me earlier today asking if I was mad, then texted later to see if I was reopening tomorrow.
I just gave short simple replies. We shall see how. She acts tomorrow.

Yep, she is doing exactly what BC said. She is trying to get the upper hand. I swear people have nothing else better to do but have a ton of drama in their lives.
Good job on the short answers! Just be really professional, have a permasmile and shorten all interaction until she is gone. I had to do this with someone that termed with me, I was pretty upset as I thought the mom had her head in the clouds a little bit and I could tell she really didn't want her son in daycare at all. I gave great care, every interaction was upbeat and I greeted her with a smile and the same interest in her life as I had always done. Then I washed my hands of it and added some new policies

[SnowGirl]

Keep up the simple replies. When she says it's not personal, you should literally not be personal at all. Just be 100% business. Whenever I'm dealing with dramatic people (in life or in business), I don't even acknowledge those attention seeking statements ("It's not personal" "Are you mad?"). I only give the essential information and remain completely relaxed (on the outside).

I'm so sorry about all the crap you've been through with her. It'll be over soon!

[Provider_Manda]

So this morning she informs me that she contacted her county caseworker and she told her there is no requirement of a notice when our parent/provider agreement says caregiver shall give at least a 10 written notice 😡 I'm on hold now with the state office, why do I need to worry about paperwork, if they are not going to in force it!