DCB Being Brought Late Without Breakfast

[lovemydaycare0912]

Hello again,

Ive mentioned earlier my cut off time for breakfast is 830am. Any child coming in after this time, needs to have been fed breakfast at home.

Here's my dilemma. I have a dcb about 18 months whose parents are now split up. When it's dads time to drop dcb off, he usually comes after 830am. Now he knows breakfast is over at this time but proceeds to say dcb had a bottle, doesn't mention breakfast. Mind you dcb is not on bottle here at daycare but thats something else. I sent home a letter to both parents 1 week ago in case he "forgot.". Today, dad drops off dcb and tells my dh he had a bottle.

I don't know if I should tell mom or wait until I see dad to address it again. I hate that he constantly brings dcb here without being fed. If I speak to him and he continues to bring dcb without breakfast, what should my next step be?

Thanks for your help.

[Cat Herder]

Please don't triangulate between parents, it will only hurt DCB down the road.

By bottle does he mean formula? If so that is a more complete meal than most.

Maybe give it a pass since it would be more a parenting choice of formula or yogurt, toast and eggs. KWIM?

Also, consider making your "breakfast ends" and "no drop-off after" times both 830. Solves all your problems permanently.

[lovemydaycare0912]

He just gives him milk. And sometimes too much where he ends up throwing up while he's here.

No drop offs after 830 wouldnt work for us but that is a good idea. Thanks.

[Cat Herder]

Ok, just milk.

I would schedule a conference assuming he simply does not understand that can be viewed as nutritional neglect and you are a mandated reporter. Never put that out there as a threat, use it so he understands WHY this issue is such a big deal and could get you in trouble. He probably never heard of food programs or meal counts.

Obviously we are worried about DCB. However, It is possible Dad thinks waiting until morning snack is no biggie, he does it himself most mornings trying to get to work on time and the kid barely eats anything he gives him, anyway...

After the conference, turn him away at the door if he shows up without feeding his son breakfast. He can come back after breakfast. The same thing you would do with Mom. Rinse. Repeat.

Do not involve Mom at all, though. What happens on Dad's time is none of her business unless the child is in danger.

[lovemydaycare0912]

Thank you. I'll find out if he is deopping him off tomorrow and talk with him then. We dont even do morning snack. Dad knows next meal is lunch. I feel like he's just lazy but I will try to word as best as possible so it doesn't come off as rude. Thanks for your input.

[Cat Herder]

You are very welcome. :hug: Thank you for considering it.

[Blackcat31]

Do not involve Mom at all, though. What happens on Dad's time is none of her business unless the child is in danger.

[rosieteddy]

In my care bottles ended at 12 months.I would write down some breakfast ideas for Dad.He may just be lost on what to feed.Make it easy Toast, half banana cup of milk.Pancake ,strawberries milk ect.I also would stress that the child needs to be there by 8;15 no later if not fed. You may have to send away or loosen the policy. I would send a letter home for everyone about the meal times and why its important to be there on time. I stopped feeding breakfast on arrival,for just this reason.I changed my program to all children arriving fed something at home.Then at 9:15 we had breakfast snack.I served enough for it to count as breakfast -grain, fruit and milk. Then we went out before lunch and everyone had energy to run around and also came in with an appetite for lunch.Good luck.

[caligirl]

I take the kids off the bottle at 12 months. If the parents don't want to, then that's their problem. I don't like it personally, but since it's their child, I just ignore it. They know that I don't give bottles after 1 yr.

The breakfast thing however, would irritate me. I've had that problem here years ago. I start early. The first one here is dropped off at 630 am. I serve breakfast between 7-7:30. I tell the parents right away when I sign them up. I tell them that they need to be here before 7:30 if they need breakfast here. I'm cleaning up at 7:30. If they aren't here by then, then they will be getting their snack at 9:30. Lunch is at noon. I've had parents come in at 8:00 apologizing for being late and that they hadn't had time to give them breakfast. I just say 'well, snack is at 9:30, so I'll be sure they get an extra portion then'. They figure it out REAL fast

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I will go out on a limb and say that dcd probably gets dck right out of bed, puts him in the car seat and hands him a bottle. He doesn't want to feed him real food or do anything beyond what is necessary to get him to your house. I would be having a serious talk with him or turning him away at the door. If he wants you to feed him, he needs to get his booty out of bed earlier and bring the kid before your meal cut off time.

[Blackcat31]

I will go out on a limb and say that dcd probably gets dck right out of bed, puts him in the car seat and hands him a bottle. He doesn't want to feed him real food or do anything beyond what is necessary to get him to your house. I would be having a serious talk with him or turning him away at the door. If he wants you to feed him, he needs to get his booty out of bed earlier and bring the kid before your meal cut off time.

I am sure he is more than likely banking on the fact that others will see him as a "poor single dad".

ie. People tend to excuse single dad's from their parenting responsibilities.

[sharlan]

I am sure he is more than likely banking on the fact that others will see him as a "poor single dad".

ie. People tend to excuse single dad's from their parenting responsibilities.

Guilty as charged. NEVER AGAIN!

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I am sure he is more than likely banking on the fact that others will see him as a "poor single dad".

ie. People tend to excuse single dad's from their parenting responsibilities.

:: So true! I don't buy the whole "not sure what to feed him"! I imagine dad has eaten breakfast a few times in his life and honestly, if he is split from his wife/partner, one of the best things he can do is sit down and have a good breakfast with his child. Great time for bonding! My dh makes pancakes every sunday morning while I sleep in. I don't care for pancakes and frankly, I just want to sleep in! But my kids look forward to it and love helping him whip them up! It is their special time and I love that he takes the time to do it every week. Now, if I could only get him to clean a bathroom every once in awhile, we would be golden! ::

[lovemydaycare0912]

Oh no he definitely gets him and dcb out of bed, in carseat with a bottle and then to me. He wasn't married to mom, and there is no sympathy here for him.

I actually realized dcb's hours are changing bc of moms work schedule. I told her if hes here 830 or after he needs to eat breakfast at home. So Im waiting until Friday to see what drop off time she licka to go over it with mom and dad one last time before I turn them away.

[lovemykidstoo]

I have parents do this all the time and then you find out that the child has been up for quite some time, so why the heck don't they feed them? Drives me crazy too. I hear alot that they had the child at the table with a cup of milk or a bottle. If they're having something to drink, at least give them a bowl of cereal and a banana. If it's past breakfast, I simply say that it won't be long until morning snack and they act like they don't even hear it. My son was in daycare for almost 3 years and never once did I not feed him breakfast and he was at daycare by 7:30 every morning. Extremely lazy parenting.