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Boy, I have such a challenge with my little attention seeker. Every time we nip one behavior in the bud she comes up with another. The last couple days its been "watch me" repeatedly all day long. The first time she says it I acknowledge her. I say something along the lines of "I see you're doing such and such" or "Tell me about such and such" or "it looks like you're having fun," etc. The second I turn my attention back to another child she is again saying "Watch me...hey, watch me." At that point I typically ignore or say, "I see that, now go play." Then she escalates from saying "watch me" to tapping my shoulder repeatedly while saying it. It just gets more and more adamant. I'm curious how to nip this in the bud while still offering encouragement when its needed and without breaking her confidence. She's the same one that walks around saying "I'm so cute" all day long so I think she is just being fed constant praise. Most of my crew now is 2 and under so most of my day is spent on the floor with them. This little lady has been very aggressive with the babies so I don't feel that I can get up and walk away or busy myself when she does it. She is making so much progress and the aggression has really slowed down, but she's never allowed out of my sight or far from my reach so I definitely wouldn't trust her to "go play" across the room from me unless all babies are safely contained out of her reach. Any ideas?
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I believe it was Nannyde who suggested getting them to tell a little one.
So when I have one who is an attention seeker, I will respond once. Then I say something along the lines of, I already watched/listened/saw that. I bet dcb would like to see that. It works and the littles love the attention from the older ones. -
I've been in the same boat the last couple days. She told me she loves me though, so that's probably why.
Today I said to her, after the 50th time, that I'm always watching what she is doing and she is so creative and everything she does is cool. In a really nice voice. It worked!!! I think she just needed the reassurance that I am paying attention but I have babies too so I'm sure that's why this behavior comes out.Comment
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I am going to try this approach with my "watch me" child.I've been in the same boat the last couple days. She told me she loves me though, so that's probably why.
Today I said to her, after the 50th time, that I'm always watching what she is doing and she is so creative and everything she does is cool. In a really nice voice. It worked!!! I think she just needed the reassurance that I am paying attention but I have babies too so I'm sure that's why this behavior comes out.Comment
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Is it possible that she has some developmental delays? Possibly ASD? This sounds like repetitive behavior but unless she has other social indicators it can be hard to know. Being agressive with babies can also be a sign that something is not quite 'right'. This just does not sound like typical behavior to me.Comment
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I think she just wants to be the center of attention and takes it on the babies when she's not. Do you have a non breakable mirror you could place at her eye level and tell her to keep practicing her new routine, let her know when you can see her final act.
I have a 4 yo who needs constant attention too but her method is constantly asking why why why or what's this what's that.
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I missed the part where she was aggressive with the littles...
How old is she? I agree with Josie, sounds like when the attention is not on her, she will turn on the littles because she probably gets some attention then.
I don't know. I would still maybe get her to 'show' the littles with you right there. Maybe encourage her to draw something and show it to them, practice her dance and perform for them, or whatever it is that she is doing. Get 'it' out of her system, while at the same time modelling a way for her to interact positively with the little ones?
I have one older and the rest are littles. My older one was getting into the whole 'watch me' thing, and it worked really well to have him interact with the littles. They aren't necessarily playmates but he has developed ways to interact with them throughout the day in a positive manner, which was difficult for him at first because he is an only child.Comment
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I don't believe she has any delays. She actually seems advanced in many areas, but I do sometimes feel like something isn't quite right. I just can't quite put my finger on it. She's very intelligent, has a large vocabulary, but very aggressive and one of the most attention seeking children I've dealt with. Also, the fits she throws when she's told no are incredible. I told her not to jump on the couch (a standard every day rule) and it resulted in her screaming repeatedly, throwing herself in the floor, thrashing side to side, etc until she vomited. This is her normal response to being told no minus the vomiting.
We've made progress though! I finally found something that matters to her and the last 2 days we've only had 2 or 3 fits and they were very mild like 15 seconds or less.Comment
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I truly believe this is the issue. She wants everything to be 100% about her all of the time. I love the mirror idea. haha Unfortunately I hear watch me even for minor things like being able to push a button to make a stuffed toy talk or scooping food onto a spoon. She's been eating off a spoon independently for almost a year. Yet somehow she's decided she can't do it now and asks for help repeatedly. When I remind her to scoop with the spoon its "watch me" for the rest of the lunch time.I think she just wants to be the center of attention and takes it on the babies when she's not. Do you have a non breakable mirror you could place at her eye level and tell her to keep practicing her new routine, let her know when you can see her final act.
I have a 4 yo who needs constant attention too but her method is constantly asking why why why or what's this what's that.
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I really do like this idea. I've limited her interaction with the babies so much b/c they always end up getting hurt otherwise, but since she is never out of my sight maybe this would be a positive way to encourage interaction. She is very newly 2 so not much past the baby stage herself.Comment
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I honestly wouldn't point to ASD right away. In my experience this is normal behavior. Is she an only child? If so, she is used to getting her needs met and having the attention on her and her only at home, so she expects it. Aggression is coming out because what she is doing isn't working and she's acting out. Negative attention is better than no attention.Comment
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More than likely her mother (or possibly her father as well) is a social media addict....
Every "watch me" kid I've ever had in care had parents that pretty much posted their child's entire daily schedule on-line.
"Look! Billy is walking!"
"Look! Billy is on his left foot now!"
"Look! Billy is using his right foot now!"
"Look what Billy can do/say etc........"
Look at me kids usually have parents that place a high value on what their child can do in comparison to others....it's all part of the "my child is smarter/better/taller/older/faster than your child" mentality.
Social media..... ruining parenting and causing massive amounts of mommy guilt since the late 90ies
I had a little DCK once that would stop and pause while playing. It took me forever to figure out what the pauses were...I kept thinking some sort of mis-fire in brain waves or some sort of developmental delay. :confused:
I even considered tiny episodes of seizure like behaviors.
....turns out he was just pausing so mom could snap a picture of his every.single move and post it on FB.
Maybe this is something only older providers are noticing I don't know, but since the popularity of social media the behaviors of parents is becoming really odd to me and many many times I've found it's directly related to that type of thing.Comment
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I don't know whether to laugh or cry.More than likely her mother (or possibly her father as well) is a social media addict....
Every "watch me" kid I've ever had in care had parents that pretty much posted their child's entire daily schedule on-line.
"Look! Billy is walking!"
"Look! Billy is on his left foot now!"
"Look! Billy is using his right foot now!"
"Look what Billy can do/say etc........"
Look at me kids usually have parents that place a high value on what their child can do in comparison to others....it's all part of the "my child is smarter/better/taller/older/faster than your child" mentality.
Social media..... ruining parenting and causing massive amounts of mommy guilt since the late 90ies
I had a little DCK once that would stop and pause while playing. It took me forever to figure out what the pauses were...I kept thinking some sort of mis-fire in brain waves or some sort of developmental delay. :confused:
I even considered tiny episodes of seizure like behaviors.
....turns out he was just pausing so mom could snap a picture of his every.single move and post it on FB.
Maybe this is something only older providers are noticing I don't know, but since the popularity of social media the behaviors of parents is becoming really odd to me and many many times I've found it's directly related to that type of thing.
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BC I actually have a child that says "Are you putting my picture on instagram?" "Can you facebook that thing I said?" "HASHTAG ILOVETHIS!"
It's horrendous.
I take photos for parents/to document what they are learning ONLY. Not to "SHOW OFF" but this child HAS to STOP and POSE for every picture, while the other kids will just keep playing (candid, unposed shots!)
I have even told the Mom, because of this- she's going to get fewer photos. *shrug*Comment
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Haha Every single time I snap a pic of any kid this dcg does stop and say "I need a picture!" "Let me say cheese!" etc repeatedly.More than likely her mother (or possibly her father as well) is a social media addict....
Every "watch me" kid I've ever had in care had parents that pretty much posted their child's entire daily schedule on-line.
"Look! Billy is walking!"
"Look! Billy is on his left foot now!"
"Look! Billy is using his right foot now!"
"Look what Billy can do/say etc........"
Look at me kids usually have parents that place a high value on what their child can do in comparison to others....it's all part of the "my child is smarter/better/taller/older/faster than your child" mentality.
Social media..... ruining parenting and causing massive amounts of mommy guilt since the late 90ies
I had a little DCK once that would stop and pause while playing. It took me forever to figure out what the pauses were...I kept thinking some sort of mis-fire in brain waves or some sort of developmental delay. :confused:
I even considered tiny episodes of seizure like behaviors.
....turns out he was just pausing so mom could snap a picture of his every.single move and post it on FB.
Maybe this is something only older providers are noticing I don't know, but since the popularity of social media the behaviors of parents is becoming really odd to me and many many times I've found it's directly related to that type of thing.Comment
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