Child Acting Completely Crazy - Diapering Question

[Unregistered]

I have a 2 1/2 yo in care who has lately, been rude and disrespectful--and I think he gets it from mom/dad and his sister, who are not known for being kind. He throws things at staff and screams at them. Today, the lead provider was too afraid to put the child in his place, so I did it. I am tired of this one acting the way he is. The parents coddle him and I can't begin to tell you how much this shows. The child is ALSO on a binky, and admits that the dentist told them that the child's teeth are misaligned already. She refuses to give it up because is 'afraid he'll **** his thumb' because her daughter once did. We are NOT SUPPOSED to have binkies in care- for sanitary reasons. The lead provider said she would rather not argue with mom and that it's the parents' choice when to give the binky. Fine, but not in care when we shouldn't HAVE them in there! If she wants to give it to him at home, whatever. But why are we breaking the rules for HER?

Today, the child had diarrhea. Kids are not supposed to be in care when they have diarrhea, but whatever. No one does anything about it there, so I have ****ed it up. When I went to change him, he screams for the lead provider. Fine, let her do it. No biggie to me. But, I noticed his parents put him in pullups. The child IS NO WHERE NEAR READY to be potty trained! They are fooling themselves! The child was changed by the lead provider who said he was chafed.

The child goes AGAIN. I go to get the diapers ready and the child is screaming at me, and I just tell him he needs to knock it off, as firm as I could. I don't need to be screamed at!

So the lead provider picks him up and changes him again.

So I report to mom. I tell her that the child screams when it's time to get changed, and that this is not normal behavior, so I thought it had something to do with him being chafed. She insists that he hates being changed by anyone as of late. Well, I would too, if I were in pullups that don't hold poo/pee and chafe me! Then I tell her that he actually had diarrhea. She goes "Oh that's teething." I am SO SICK OF hearing he's teething EVERY time his nose runs, he has a fever, or has some sort of illness. This kid has been acting up and so I don't think it's 'just teething'. I think actually, with the way the diapers smelled, he has a stomach virus. Any time anyone suggests the child is ill, he's always teething. This mom is the first mom to drop off her kid and the LAST one to pick him up. She has NEVER missed a single day (at least in the last year). I am at my wits end with her and firmly believe a lot of this behavior is a direct result of how they parent at home. Should I say anything to the director? To the parent herself? Or just leave it alone? I am just tired of all this nonsense!

[Unregistered]

Just tell the director that policies aren't being followed and that concerns you for health and safety reasons. Namely the sickness policy, paci policy and toilet training policy (I'm assuming there's something in there about diapers/pullups etc). If you are not the lead, you probably can't institute any changes between the mom and teacher. But the way you communicate with the boy can be a good example for the teacher if you are communicating appropriately. You should try out rie diapering techniques (can be found online) and see if you get anywhere with the boy. And maybe the teacher will see your style with him and how well he does for you and maybe she'll begin to pick up some of your methods.... Oh and also I would print out a paper from online that describes illnesses and the symptoms and I would post it right on the classroom door. Highlight anything that says teething doesn't cause fever, diarrhea or runny noses! Tell the lead you saw this handy chart online and you thought it would be really helpful for parents and teachers trying to decide if a child is well enough to stay at school! Ha

[Ariana]

Does the director know this woman? I am confused why policy isn't being followed and I would ask for a meeting with the director and head teacher or whoever is in charge of enforcing rules. This just sounds ridiculous to me!

[daycarediva]

Does the director know this woman? I am confused why policy isn't being followed and I would ask for a meeting with the director and head teacher or whoever is in charge of enforcing rules. This just sounds ridiculous to me!

They need to put this family in their place before you have every family dictating policy at your center.

[thrivingchildcarecom]

I know a lot of times at the centers enrollment is such an issue that they let things slide to not make waves with parents. I think you should certainly bring these issues up to the director. It is their job to be sure the rules are enforced. Parents always blame teething. Over the years I have had parents that actually refused to pick up their sick kids. So now I don't ASK them to pick them up, I TELL them to. We have a health & sickness policy, regulations to maintain as well as the well being of the other children & staff in attendance. I have found that once they know you are serious about your policies, parents are less likely to challenge you about them. One last thing, I provide them with a health & illness policy flyer when they enroll and send them reminders during cold & flu seasons throughout the year. I think it helps.

[Unregistered]

Does the director know this woman? I am confused why policy isn't being followed and I would ask for a meeting with the director and head teacher or whoever is in charge of enforcing rules. This just sounds ridiculous to me!

My first thought was that too. You don't just break rules for anyone ya know.
I would just call the lead person to change every time. Try not to let it bother you. I know it's hard. Just don't let THEM ruin YOUR day 😆

[Unregistered]

UPDATE:
I had a meeting where our supervisor was there and asked us how things are going and I told her everything. She said "I'm aware we are probably not in compliance with the regulations per state, and we're working on this immediately"

Apparently, there has been some issues going on that I don't even know about.

I talked to her how we are not supposed to potty train, but the parent is trying to force it, and insists on pullups. His poop doesn't even stay IN the pullup. I said I have had it trying to explain to the parents that the pullups are not really very good at this stage, and that it's causing us problems. I finally told her that kid needs to be in diapers until he's 100% ready, not when SHE is ready. She got upset, but I don't care.

The supervisor said they are going to be making changes. I hope it's SOON because I can't continue on doing what we're doing. It's not cool with me anymore.

The director DOES know mom, and has for years, and it just so happens, mom is the PAYROLL clerk! Well, now does that explain everything, which I told the supervisor that I felt this is a conflict-of-interest. Supervisor says she agreed with me, but that remains to be seen....