At What Age?

[Unregistered]

Do you expect a child to have table manner? To be able to sit at the table without jumping around and spilling their milk? To keep their hands out of their food and not wipe them on the table, chair, their hair and face? To use a fork instead of hands? To keep hands out of mouth while checking and eating?

[Cat Herder]

9th grade? :hug:

[Josiegirl]

9th grade? :hug:

Haha yep just about!
You can expect all you want but it depends on each child. I have toddlers that use better manners than the 4 yo who loves to see everyone's reaction when she shows everyone what she's eating or eats hummus with her fingers or put her crackers in her drink.
Right now I spend a lot of time straightening them in the chair, reminding them to sit on their bottoms, feet on the floor, show them their own space, and always asking them if they have a spoon to eat those peas with? Constant reminding.
They are notorious for invading their neighbor's space so much which leads to lots of problems. I almost thought of taping off their spaces so they'd get an idea of what lines to not cross but I know all they'd do is spend the whole mealtime tearing the tape off.

[Cat Herder]

IMHO, Mealtimes should be stress free and based on nutritional goals.

Manners should be taught at circle times based on each childs own needs and milestones they have reached.

Many of the physical skills needed for the OP are not fully developed until age 6. The social and emotional ones even later..

[Cat Herder]

They are notorious for invading their neighbor's space so much which leads to lots of problems. I almost thought of taping off their spaces so they'd get an idea of what lines to not cross but I know all they'd do is spend the whole mealtime tearing the tape off.

:::::: That is exactly what they did here, tore off the tape. Then it became stuck in the hair.. tears, chaos and outrage ensued.... TBC

[Unregistered]

I'd say they can do it most of the time by 3-4, stil, reminding a few times though. Try high chairs for the invaders ☺

[Cat Herder]

I'd say they can do it most of the time by 3-4, stil, reminding a few times though. Try high chairs for the invaders ☺

Be sure to check your regs, though. This is illegal in several states. The states that do allow it are very specific to the weight, reasons and time limits.

Things have become very tricky. << understatement alert<<

* Even moving a chronically disruptive child to a table of their own can be viewed as neglectful or emotionally abusive per regulations.

[Unregistered]

Be sure to check your regs, though. This is illegal in several states. The states that do allow it are very specific to the weight, reasons and time limits.

Things have become very tricky. << understatement alert<<

* Even moving a chronically disruptive child to a table of their own can be viewed as neglectful or emotionally abusive per regulations.

It's not in my reg's but thank you
And they wonder why preschoolers are termed more than high schoolers....
Does that mean we neglect infants? No, we don't.
I guess just excuse them from the table then??

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Do you expect a child to have table manner? To be able to sit at the table without jumping around and spilling their milk? To keep their hands out of their food and not wipe them on the table, chair, their hair and face? To use a fork instead of hands? To keep hands out of mouth while checking and eating?

I try to start from a young age. The littlest (6-8 months)were always a part of meal time, but in their high chair and with age appropriate food. As they developed their eating skills, I would introduce spoons and forks and by age two, they were starting to master the cup with a small amount of milk in it. It is a learning process and those with great behavior are applauded and encouraged to continue the behavior. By the time they are 18 months or so, I expect them to participate in meal time, but I don't mean they won't get a little messy. They may hold their fork, but eat with their hands. They may mush the food together, but still take bites. I do not allow blatant bad behavior (like throwing your cup or plate on the floor). Once they do that, I firmly say, "we are done eating now", wash them up and excuse the from the table. As they get older, they will also have to clean up the mess they make. I have made those homemade wipes and every kid gets oe to wash hands and to wipe their area of the table. If they get food on the floor, they pick it up and throw it away. Meals should be stress free, but NOT chaotic! We all have the same goal. Eat some good food and have some good conversation!

[Josiegirl]

I hope my post didn't come off as military style eating.
I have 3 kids right now who'd rather eat dancing around in the kitchen so I'm trying to train them to sit nicely at the table. I have a child size table that fits 6 kids. One of them will lean way across to the other side. Another one will put food she doesn't like into her neighbor's milk. You get the picture. So right now we're working on 'this is my dance space, this is your dance space'.

[Unregistered]

Op here. I have a 3 year old that I am majorly struggling with her and her older sibling (6) have extremely poor table manners. I don't mind talking but when you are flinging food, hands in mouth while chewing, never using a fork. Trying to helicopter her arms and flinging her milk. It's actually driving me crazy I gave a 21 month old who sits better. She gets away with it at home so it's so hard to correct here.

[daycare]

Op here. I have a 3 year old that I am majorly struggling with her and her older sibling (6) have extremely poor table manners. I don't mind talking but when you are flinging food, hands in mouth while chewing, never using a fork. Trying to helicopter her arms and flinging her milk. It's actually driving me crazy I gave a 21 month old who sits better. She gets away with it at home so it's so hard to correct here.

play games outside of meal time about manners and then apply them to meal time as needed.

I have strict tables manners. I require everyone to sit down feet forward on the ground or at least forward if you are on the shorter side.
hands to your self, never touch anyone else food. use your napkin

when you are done, raise your hand, asked to be excused, sitting quietly. No shouting out, I'm done, over and over. we will then excuse you. push in your chair, throw your napkin in the trash and place your dishes in the sink.

I will wash your dishes/forks/spoons/cup etc and the child will dry it and place it on the small counter to be put away.

every single one of my kids but one 4yr old can do this no problem.

when new kids come in, they see the other kids doing it and they follow. If they struggle, we help them.

All of my kids know that if they have bad manners at the table, they will be removed from the eating area and reflect on their decision making. the younger ones just get removed and told no thank you.

they will return when the rest of the kids are done or a table is empty so that they don't have any distractions while they eat their food.

[Jack Sprat]

play games outside of meal time about manners and then apply them to meal time as needed.

I have strict tables manners. I require everyone to sit down feet forward on the ground or at least forward if you are on the shorter side.
hands to your self, never touch anyone else food. use your napkin

when you are done, raise your hand, asked to be excused, sitting quietly. No shouting out, I'm done, over and over. we will then excuse you. push in your chair, throw your napkin in the trash and place your dishes in the sink.

I will wash your dishes/forks/spoons/cup etc and the child will dry it and place it on the small counter to be put away.

every single one of my kids but one 4yr old can do this no problem.

when new kids come in, they see the other kids doing it and they follow. If they struggle, we help them.

All of my kids know that if they have bad manners at the table, they will be removed from the eating area and reflect on their decision making. the younger ones just get removed and told no thank you.

they will return when the rest of the kids are done or a table is empty so that they don't have any distractions while they eat their food.

Yes! This is how we do it as well. I can't stand bad table manners.

[MunchkinWrangler]

I have mealtime rules, my son is the worst, honestly!
The main ones are no kneeling on the chair, we sit on our bottoms.
We can't leave the table until everyone is done eating, including the ones in highchairs. I feel it teaches them respect for others, and I will engage in conversation with them.
No playing, being overly silly, or anything with the food unless they are eating it.
We have to at least try a bite of new foods before seconds on the ones we like. I don't put any negative on not liking foods but I encourage to try new things or things we're not sure about.
Every child gets a napkin and is encouraged to wipe their hands or mouth if they feel they need to.
Food stays at the table.
I encourage with infants to be polite with their food. Sounds crazy but when it starts turning into a game for an infant to drop food on the floor or wiping it on themselves, their mealtime is over. I use clear language and if they are being too playful with their food I say All done? Normally and infant will stop after realizing that mealtime will end if it continues. Don't get me wrong, I do let them explore food but you always have to realize when it turns into a game and your the monkey now.

[Unregistered]

I have mealtime rules, my son is the worst, honestly!
The main ones are no kneeling on the chair, we sit on our bottoms.
We can't leave the table until everyone is done eating, including the ones in highchairs. I feel it teaches them respect for others, and I will engage in conversation with them.
No playing, being overly silly, or anything with the food unless they are eating it.
We have to at least try a bite of new foods before seconds on the ones we like. I don't put any negative on not liking foods but I encourage to try new things or things we're not sure about.
Every child gets a napkin and is encouraged to wipe their hands or mouth if they feel they need to.
Food stays at the table.
I encourage with infants to be polite with their food. Sounds crazy but when it starts turning into a game for an infant to drop food on the floor or wiping it on themselves, their mealtime is over. I use clear language and if they are being too playful with their food I say All done? Normally and infant will stop after realizing that mealtime will end if it continues. Don't get me wrong, I do let them explore food but you always have to realize when it turns into a game and your the monkey now.

I agree