Behavior Change in Child

[Leigh]

My very sweet and compliant little DCG (23 months) has changed in the last 2 months. Since she started talking. No major changes at home or here. Since she started talking, she has been MEAN. Hitting (with hands and toys), pinching, biting, scratching. Anytime she doesn't get her way, she yells and screams. Doesn't like lunch? Throws it on the floor. It takes forever to get her to pick it up again. Give her a cup of water, throws it at me and yells "JUICE!". Ask her to do anything and she crosses her arms and yells "NO!".

I love this little girl-she's been pure sunshine until these last 2 months. Has anyone seen such a complete personality change at the 2 year mark? I never have, and I am stumped. She needs 100%, very close supervision to keep her from hurting other kids. It takes very little to make her angry. Her family has always been my favorite daycare family, and I do not want to term over this, I want to find a way to fix it here and at home (her parents are upset over her behavior, too).

[daycare]

My very sweet and compliant little DCG (23 months) has changed in the last 2 months. Since she started talking. No major changes at home or here. Since she started talking, she has been MEAN. Hitting (with hands and toys), pinching, biting, scratching. Anytime she doesn't get her way, she yells and screams. Doesn't like lunch? Throws it on the floor. It takes forever to get her to pick it up again. Give her a cup of water, throws it at me and yells "JUICE!". Ask her to do anything and she crosses her arms and yells "NO!".

I love this little girl-she's been pure sunshine until these last 2 months. Has anyone seen such a complete personality change at the 2 year mark? I never have, and I am stumped. She needs 100%, very close supervision to keep her from hurting other kids. It takes very little to make her angry. Her family has always been my favorite daycare family, and I do not want to term over this, I want to find a way to fix it here and at home (her parents are upset over her behavior, too).

I see this every time a child goes through a developmental growth period.
At her age, sounds like she is demanding control.
I would offer her choices. let her choose one. do you want milk or water?

if you hit you sit, be consistent with your reactions and discipline. rinse and repeat.

as for her crossing her arms and yelling no, I would have her sit in the thinking spot and tell her that's not nice.

I won't let a child tell me NO. you can go sit and think. even at the age of two just removing them from the event will get them to understand that it is not ok to yell at anyone for any reason and you don't tell me NO.

[Leigh]

I see this every time a child goes through a developmental growth period.
At her age, sounds like she is demanding control.
I would offer her choices. let her choose one. do you want milk or water?

if you hit you sit, be consistent with your reactions and discipline. rinse and repeat.

as for her crossing her arms and yelling no, I would have her sit in the thinking spot and tell her that's not nice.

I won't let a child tell me NO. you can go sit and think. even at the age of two just removing them from the event will get them to understand that it is not ok to yell at anyone for any reason and you don't tell me NO.

Thank you for answering-it's very reassuring. I have seen kids go through tantrums and oppositional behavior, but this little girl seems to have lost her mind! I have not been offering her the choices that the big kids get, and that's something that she obviously needs. She's been here since birth, and I guess I still see her as a baby. She's been in the PNP plenty lately, and she goes the moment something happens. I talk to her while she is in there about what I expect-she is a brilliant little girl, and I know she understands what's going on.

[Thriftylady]

I agree with PP. She is testing the waters for sure. Just be loving yet firm. Like PP said, give her choices when you can, but keep them to choices you can live with. And let her know exactly what things are not a choice (such as hitting, throwing food, etc).

[Ariana]

Something is going on at home that the parents are not aware of or not sharing with you. A child does not suddenly become crazy defiant and oppositional at 2 years old. Some testing is normal but this seems very atypical for a child who is 2 and talking.

[daycarediva]

Something is going on at home that the parents are not aware of or not sharing with you. A child does not suddenly become crazy defiant and oppositional at 2 years old. Some testing is normal but this seems very atypical for a child who is 2 and talking.

Yup. This sounds like my former dcb about 3 months before his parents started divorce proceedings. It was UGLY at home and dcb had seen quite a bit. They kept up the charade and denied ANYTHING had changed.

I have seen kids who were otherwise perfectly typical have tricky behaviors come up, but never to this level.

[Sunchimes]

A few weeks ago, my precious little sunshiney sweetheart became a Terrible Two, 6 months early. Because I keep a journal on my s/n kids, I can pinpoint the week things changed. It was the week her hands-on, excellent dad got changed to rotating night shift. She misses her dad. He's doing the best he can, but she is too little to understand. She is clinging to my husband more than normal, and really being a stinker. I can run through my entire book of tricks with no results, and hubby can walk to the door, look at her, and she is all sunshine and light again. I feel bad, but at least I know why.

[daycare]

i guess the thing that is important to try and figure out here is what is happening before she acts out.

talk to the parents ask them if there has even been the slightest change at home at all, if they say no, ask them to think about it and you will get back to them in a few days.

at Daycare I would really do observing to see what is causing it, then you can be proactive about it.

for example, the PP said that the little girl is really missing her daddy and now clings to her hubby. so now she knows this, she can tell dcg guess what, my DH is coming, should we clean up so you can _________with him. (hug, play, sing, whatever it is she does with him)

or you can just tell the child I know you miss your daddy, and just give them a little more love and hugs.

knowing what the root of the problem is can really help wonders so that you can be proactive instead of reactive.

[Leigh]

A few weeks ago, my precious little sunshiney sweetheart became a Terrible Two, 6 months early. Because I keep a journal on my s/n kids, I can pinpoint the week things changed. It was the week her hands-on, excellent dad got changed to rotating night shift. She misses her dad. He's doing the best he can, but she is too little to understand. She is clinging to my husband more than normal, and really being a stinker. I can run through my entire book of tricks with no results, and hubby can walk to the door, look at her, and she is all sunshine and light again. I feel bad, but at least I know why.

I know that this little one's mom has been working late a lot, because we've had a lot of late pickups or dad picking up. I wonder if less mommy time is contributing. I know my own son acted up a lot when Dad was on 3pm-1am shift. One night, my son begged my husband not to go back to work (he came home every night on break to tuck in our son), and he just couldn't take it any more. He finally agreed that the extra money wasn't worth the hurt it caused our son to be away in the evenings.

[Ariana]

I know that this little one's mom has been working late a lot, because we've had a lot of late pickups or dad picking up. I wonder if less mommy time is contributing. I know my own son acted up a lot when Dad was on 3pm-1am shift. One night, my son begged my husband not to go back to work (he came home every night on break to tuck in our son), and he just couldn't take it any more. He finally agreed that the extra money wasn't worth the hurt it caused our son to be away in the evenings.

. Good for you guys for making the right choice.

As for DCG I would probe a little further and see what the situation is at home.

[Josiegirl]

It could be something going on at home or it could very well be she just found out she can exert her independence.
Ignore what you can, redirect and prevent where you can, remain consistent and try not to over-react(which is something I have a hard time with especially if it feels like I've done it 50 times in the day already). As has been suggested here many times, let little cute demon child play on a blanket all by herself every time she hurts someone and explain to her that you cannot allow that to happen because your job is to protect every one in dc.
Good luck! I have found some kids do change tremendously when they're discovering their independent lil selves.

[Play Care]

Sadly yes. I had a lil guy just flip the ugly switch around 2 1/2. He had been an amazing infant and toddler.
In my case I suspect some ADHD. I also have his two younger brothers. The littlest is 20 months and amazing. I'm hoping we don't have a repeat.