Not Bad, But No OK..

[daycare]

I have a dck that the family has been with me for over 6 years, I am on their second child.

The child is VERY impulsive. Does things that are not bad, but things that could lead to an accident and are unsafe.

Example: we have a rule no spinning in circles (your body) while in the house. If a child spins they can fall and hit heads, bodies, etc with another child hurting them or the spinning child can fall into a shelf and hurt themselves.

Another EXAMPLE: Shaking head out of control. This child starts it and then the others join in and they are so out of control we can't ____________(fill in the blank). Today the child did it and smacked heads with the child sitting next to them, because they started doing it too.

I am sooooooooooo tired of having to talk to this kid. I feel like I give them too much negative interactions, constantly asking them to stop this or that.

unfortunately our daycare is set up with a wide open space, because we have to nap in the same room and need the open floor space. BUT that is really not the problem, the child will act out no matter where they are and I just can't seem to get the child to listen no matter what I do.

In the 2 years that this child has been here, I think there may have been about 15 days total that the child was not sent to the thinking spot to think about making better choices. BTW the child is now 4, just turned. Also no where near potty trained.

Since I know that the child is not going to listen and is going to spin, I move the child away from the rest and have them in their own space where eventually they start spinning. THEN the child ends up almost hurting them self and I can't allow for a child to get hurt when they are here. Lucky for me when the child has gotten hurt it has been very minimal things like a small bump or bruise.

I am VERY proactive with this child, but nothing works. Thinking spot, ignoring, time out, loss of toy, loss of activity, or privilege, tons of positive attention, NOTHING WORKS.

I don't really say too much to the parents, because these things just come across sounding silly, but in the end could lead to a very serious injury and the last thing I need is to file an insurance claim, have licensing here to conduct an investigation and of course upsetting a parent by sending the child home injured, ESPECIALLY when it could have been prevented.

Most of me wants to throw in the towel and the rest of me wants to keep trying.

I have thought about the child could possibly have ODD???

HELP, IDEAS.......

[spedmommy4]

Baring in mind that I can't say for sure without spending time in the same room with the child; it sounds like sensory seeking behavior.

Kids who are described as "impulsive" and spin, shake, run around, etc. are often trying to meet a need. I had one last year (4 years old) that I had to term because I couldn't meet his needs in a home setting. If he's trying to meet a sensory need with the behavior, the only way to eliminate it is to give him an appropriate alternative.

For example, the child who came here loved to crash. He crashed into my walls, other kids, everything. To allow him to meet his need, when he crashed I would tell him he could crash only on the bean bag. I then gave him 5 minutes of crash time on a timer.

For the head shaking and spinning you could try incorporating songs like "shake your sillies out" in circle time or giving him a designated "safe spot" to get his wiggles out in your play area. Ultimately though, if it's constant, a home setting may not be the ideal setting for him. The little boy I had was the only little one I have ever terminated, and it was because his behavior was so unsafe.

[daycare]

Baring in mind that I can't say for sure without spending time in the same room with the child; it sounds like sensory seeking behavior.

Kids who are described as "impulsive" and spin, shake, run around, etc. are often trying to meet a need. I had one last year (4 years old) that I had to term because I couldn't meet his needs in a home setting. If he's trying to meet a sensory need with the behavior, the only way to eliminate it is to give him an appropriate alternative.

For example, the child who came here loved to crash. He crashed into my walls, other kids, everything. To allow him to meet his need, when he crashed I would tell him he could crash only on the bean bag. I then gave him 5 minutes of crash time on a timer.

For the head shaking and spinning you could try incorporating songs like "shake your sillies out" in circle time or giving him a designated "safe spot" to get his wiggles out in your play area. Ultimately though, if it's constant, a home setting may not be the ideal setting for him. The little boy I had was the only little one I have ever terminated, and it was because his behavior was so unsafe.

hmm this all sounds about right.

every day the kids and I work out together which includes, tons of jumping, shaking, dancing, running in place, yoga, stretching, deep breathing in and out, tons of movement all day long.

I do have a felling you are right about the child is trying to meet a need. I feel sooooooo over whelmed with the child at the moment and I have NEVER felt this way with a child before.

I don't even know how to bring it up to the parents, like I said, my complaints just sound silly.

[spedmommy4]

hmm this all sounds about right.

every day the kids and I work out together which includes, tons of jumping, shaking, dancing, running in place, yoga, stretching, deep breathing in and out, tons of movement all day long.

I do have a felling you are right about the child is trying to meet a need. I feel sooooooo over whelmed with the child at the moment and I have NEVER felt this way with a child before.

I don't even know how to bring it up to the parents, like I said, my complaints just sound silly.

It does sound kind of silly but I found it helpful to write down what I saw so I could just give concrete examples. Like- "Dcb jumped from the climbing structure and crashed into another child. He did know the rule and ignored a verbal safety warning to stop." I let it go on here too long. . I was totally miserable by the time I termed.

In my experience, you know pretty quickly if the replacement behaviors you're trying are working. I cared too much and ended up trying unsuccessfully for 6 long months to make it work, and still ended up terming.

[daycare]

as you can see I have been dealing with this for 2 long years. some days are good, most are not.

I guess I just kept thinking the child will mature and this will stop soon, but there is no light at the end of the tunnel so it seems.

I do lots of unplanned observations, but I don't think I do them enough. I like your idea of writing it down when I see it happening so that it can help me to show proof when and if I decide to sit and talk to the parents.

with the child be one of the older ones, they are not a good role model for the younger ones here and that makes for a bad mix.

I have not spoken to the parents about it, but their other child was not much better than this. I know that there is not a lot of consistency with parenting at home, which I used to think was the issue, but now I am thinking that just not the case.

[spedmommy4]

as you can see I have been dealing with this for 2 long years. some days are good, most are not.

I guess I just kept thinking the child will mature and this will stop soon, but there is no light at the end of the tunnel so it seems.

I do lots of unplanned observations, but I don't think I do them enough. I like your idea of writing it down when I see it happening so that it can help me to show proof when and if I decide to sit and talk to the parents.

with the child be one of the older ones, they are not a good role model for the younger ones here and that makes for a bad mix.

I have not spoken to the parents about it, but their other child was not much better than this. I know that there is not a lot of consistency with parenting at home, which I used to think was the issue, but now I am thinking that just not the case.

It's not uncommon to see sensory issues in multiple kids in a family. Two of my four kids are sensory seekers.

On a personal note, I would not have made it 2 years. The little boy I had broke my tooth, did not ever sleep here, scaled my bookshelves, and leaped off the top of climbing structures. (And that isn't even the worst of it). It was nothing short of a miracle that I made it 6 months.

My little guys parents believed that all boys are just "active." I had to explain that all kids are active but are generally able to follow basic safety directions by about 30 months. And, most kids are not so active that it poses a risk to others.

[Josiegirl]

I think the first step is approach the parents about it and see how he acts at home, how they handle it, explain to him how in a group setting it can lead to injuries. It sounds like he and his brother do this at home together and are left to their own devices. :confused: It must be difficult to keep him focused on activities such as puzzles or story time, anything quiet? Yikes. Definitely talk with the dcps and tell them you all need to come up with a plan in order for him to stay with your group.
Either that or pad the walls, ceilings, and extra carpeting on the floor, then put him in that room and shut the door.

[hope]

If it is sensory seeking than I would try some exercise first thing when the child arrives and some heavy lifting. Have the child move chairs and boxes in an order to create a pattern, or to create an obstacle course.

[daycarediva]

weighted vests, weighted lap pads at meals. Heavy work (get stones and a wheelbarrow, logs to roll/pull). LOTS of spinning, jumping, balancing, vestibular outdoor activities.

I have one diagnosed with SPD and ADHD. Some days I want to pull my hair out. He is the most impulsive child I have ever met in my entire life. I have stuck it out, because Mom is 100% on board with improving him, strategies and is a golden daycare parent. He has made such amazing progress, too. She JUST told me that they bought a new house and although he will attend here until end of summer, it's out of district for K. I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief as I wasn't going to offer him a space (sitting all day and then coming here? NO THANK YOU). So it gets me out of the awkwardness.

I found the worst part was the CONSTANT verbal reminders. Come up with 'secret hand signals'. We have one for closing mouths-pointer and middle finger closing onto thumb (he talks constantly out of turn and I was sick of interrupting another child speaking to tell him to stop talking 526161760176 times a day), one for STOP closed fist, and one for wait (peace sign).