Little Mean Girl

[auntymimi]

so ever since 4 yo dcg has come back from home she has been very rude to the other kids in care. Will come right in and the first thing she says to the kids is "nobody talk to me" I tell her fine, sit in the cry corner until you're ready to play with friends and be nice. If she's not right by my side she's saying something ugly to one of the kids (she usually picks one to be mean to that day). She has an older sister who's probably a mean girl too, and her mother is no help at all. What can I do about her behavior? I had her shadow me one day, but she loves it because she views it as special attention from me. She's allowed to be privy to adult conversations/tv shows/ situations that I believe exacerbate this situation. Usually I try to give kids better words to use and let them work it out, but this child is very manipulative and I really think she just gets a rise out of being ugly to people and I'm afraid she's going to have a very hard time making friends in kindergarten. Should I even try to curb this behavior, or should I just let natural consequences take it's course (my 5 yo refuses to play with her sometimes and often calls her out on her ugliness towards the others). When she's ugly I often separate her from the group, but often she's only rude to 1 child and the others do enjoy playing with her when she's not being rude. This family has been nothing but problems, but minor annoyances and they really have come a long way. I'd like to get her in school and then just have the little guy. No more after school for me with this family, just not worth it.

[Unregistered]

I would have her play on a rug or blanket by herself away from the others.

[Laurel]

so ever since 4 yo dcg has come back from home she has been very rude to the other kids in care. Will come right in and the first thing she says to the kids is "nobody talk to me" I tell her fine, sit in the cry corner until you're ready to play with friends and be nice. If she's not right by my side she's saying something ugly to one of the kids (she usually picks one to be mean to that day). She has an older sister who's probably a mean girl too, and her mother is no help at all. What can I do about her behavior? I had her shadow me one day, but she loves it because she views it as special attention from me. She's allowed to be privy to adult conversations/tv shows/ situations that I believe exacerbate this situation. Usually I try to give kids better words to use and let them work it out, but this child is very manipulative and I really think she just gets a rise out of being ugly to people and I'm afraid she's going to have a very hard time making friends in kindergarten. Should I even try to curb this behavior, or should I just let natural consequences take it's course (my 5 yo refuses to play with her sometimes and often calls her out on her ugliness towards the others). When she's ugly I often separate her from the group, but often she's only rude to 1 child and the others do enjoy playing with her when she's not being rude. This family has been nothing but problems, but minor annoyances and they really have come a long way. I'd like to get her in school and then just have the little guy. No more after school for me with this family, just not worth it.

Maybe talk to her like "I don't like how you talk to other people. I don't like to hear it when you say blank to Johnny (and give her more examples). That is mean and you can't do it here. Do you understand?" Then..."every time I hear you do it I will (insert a consequence here). We don't treat others like that here. Do you understand me?" Then follow through.

I'd try that first. I think the little girl who is calling her out is right.

[childcaremom]

I would have her play on a rug or blanket by herself away from the others.

If she views being your shadow as a good thing, this is what I would be doing, too, with a reminder that when she is ready to play/talk nicely with her friends, she can join the group.