DEFCON-1 Whiner

[midaycare]

Imagine the most nasal-ly voice on a dcb, age 2.5, that you can. Now imagine he whines about everything. Not a good combo.

If his blanket is within reach of him, he will whine, "I want my blanket, I want my blanket..." until one of the kids gets it for him.

Or my least favorite, "I'm done, I'm doooonnnnneeee, I'm dooooonnnneeeee" after snacks and lunch until I let him down.

I just ignore him but it isn't stopping the behavior. I can't imagine him at home, yikes! Besides ignoring, any other pearls of wisdom? This dcb just wants everything done for him.

[spedmommy4]

Even though you aren't reinforcing the whining, it sounds like the other kids are. I suspect that might be the problem. In the example you gave I would say, "dcb needs to say please hand me my blanket using his big boy voice." then model. Don't allow the kids to give him anything until he uses his big boy voice. When he does use his big kid voice, notice it. ("Nice using your big kid voice").

[midaycare]

Even though you aren't reinforcing the whining, it sounds like the other kids are. I suspect that might be the problem. In the example you gave I would say, "dcb needs to say please hand me my blanket using his big boy voice." then model. Don't allow the kids to give him anything until he uses his big boy voice. When he does use his big kid voice, notice it. ("Nice using your big kid voice").

Good advice. I am passively letting the other kids handle it.

Any thoughts on how to handle the snack and lunch routine better? I can't let him off his high chairbecause he will run around my home. He needs close supervision.

[spedmommy4]

Good advice. I am passively letting the other kids handle it.

Any thoughts on how to handle the snack and lunch routine better? I can't let him off his high chairbecause he will run around my home. He needs close supervision.

It depends on where you eat. I had a 2 year old girl who did this when she started with me. We eat at a kid sized table so I started her out in one of these.

Foundations Worldwide Secure Sitter Tip and Slip Proof Feeding Chair with Seat, White/Tan, 9" https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GICZA3G..._Kv.Gwb0TAC6D1

I sat next to her when we ate and modeled sitting and eating. After a few weeks I left it unbuckled. I sat next to her for a little bit longer to give reminders then sat her next to the oldest child and put that kid in charge. (Remind your friends to sit at the table)

My dcg is 2.5 now and if she gets up I say, "oh, you're all done?" And she sits right back down.

If you are eating at a dining table, you could modify the transitions- high chair to booster to seat next to you to sitting next to a mature child.

[kitykids3]

Here I don't allow whining. I teach them at an early age that whining is not ok and they need to use their words. I tell them how they should ask nicely. If the blanket is in his reach I would tell him if he wants it to go get it. When the kids are done eating, they all learn "may I please be excused." My toddlers 18mos. learn it. For those that have no verbal words yet, I teach them some signs to learn to sign for things instead of whining. If they are whining/tantruming, I tell them that hurts their friends' ears and they have to go into the adjacent room (which is still visible to me) until they are done.

[midaycare]

Here I don't allow whining. I teach them at an early age that whining is not ok and they need to use their words. I tell them how they should ask nicely. If the blanket is in his reach I would tell him if he wants it to go get it. When the kids are done eating, they all learn "may I please be excused." My toddlers 18mos. learn it. For those that have no verbal words yet, I teach them some signs to learn to sign for things instead of whining. If they are whining/tantruming, I tell them that hurts their friends' ears and they have to go into the adjacent room (which is still visible to me) until they are done.

Is your eating area adjacent to your playroom? My daycare is downstairs and my kitchen is upstairs. The only time we go upstairs is to eat. Dcb always finishes early, but everyone else takes another 10 minutes. I only excuse everyone all together.

[spedmommy4]

Is your eating area adjacent to your playroom? My daycare is downstairs and my kitchen is upstairs. The only time we go upstairs is to eat. Dcb always finishes early, but everyone else takes another 10 minutes. I only excuse everyone all together.

I have staff, and I'm on one floor. My eating area is adjacent to the play area. The kids are dismissed directly to the nap room. I found that this solved my problem of "fast eaters." Since the kids go straight to nap it's no fun to finish first.

[childcaremom]

Is your eating area adjacent to your playroom? My daycare is downstairs and my kitchen is upstairs. The only time we go upstairs is to eat. Dcb always finishes early, but everyone else takes another 10 minutes. I only excuse everyone all together.

This is my setup and what I do, as well.

We wait patiently for our friends to finish eating. We usually have a good conversation going at the table while we eat. If there are issues, I will excuse directly to nap. Do not pass go and do not get to hear stories.

[kitykids3]

Is your eating area adjacent to your playroom? My daycare is downstairs and my kitchen is upstairs. The only time we go upstairs is to eat. Dcb always finishes early, but everyone else takes another 10 minutes. I only excuse everyone all together.

Yes it is. When they are done they go wash hands and then go sit and look at books until I am done cleaning up to read them stories or they go to nap.

ETA: If we were not able to get up to go somewhere then they sit at the table and wait patiently for their friends (this happens like when we are on a field trip and can't send them somewhere). It's a good thing for them to learn because it's good manners as adults to wait for others are finished eating before leaving the table.

[daycare]

when you use your big boy words I can help you.

I hate whining more than anything in the world, it makes the hairs on my neck stand up

I agree that I would also not allow the other kids to cater to the whine either.

if you dont, you wont.

this applies to everything. if you DON'T go to work, you WON'T have any money.

If you DON'T use your words, you WON'T get anything.

If you DON'T do your homework, you WON'T get good grades

etc etc.