What Would You Do

[Unregistered]

I am a provider with a small group of children. I accepting this one child in my daycare who is 2 and very smart and well advance with her age and abilities. This child has an amazing ability to tell "stories" on others. The child claims other children, family, and her mom hit her, pull her hair, bit her, push her, burn her, and so on.

This child will rub her eye with the middle finger everytime she gets in trouble, she twirks on the wall during music n movement, she tries to kiss a boy daycare child on the mouth, shes very defiant and will stand in your face with her hands on her hips and tell you NO I dont have to. She refuses to help clean up or follow any daycare rule. This child is as big as a 4 year old and can talk like a 5 year old. Shes can tell you about her weekend with great detail, talk about her dreams, tell you about movies, tell you a detail summary about books, and can even picture read. This child's communication skills and verbal skills are like a 5 year old.
Here lately I have been informing mom of her behavior with the middle finger. The last time she did it I ask her why do you rub your eye like that. She said because my mommy told me to do it. She claims kids hit her that are no where near her.

This morning mom and child came in and child accuses one child of biting another. Both kids were playing together and not fighting or crying. I was looking right at them and did not see anything negative. Her mom YELLED stop telling LIES!

The mom looks at me and said the child told her that I called a boy in the daycare the B word. One we have NO adult words here and two the boy is out of vacation and three hes a BOY!

So I asked the child with mom standing there if she said that. Child yes WELL YOU CALLED ME A N (word). This child who is mixed said the N word!!!! I hit the roof and said that word is NOT allowed here. Mom made an excuse that the lady who picks her up in the afternoon has a teen daughter who says that word.

OK so here is the situation. My husband is black and I am white. THis little girl is mixed with her mom being white and no dad but he is black. The teen who is saying this word is white. I am aware of how black people say the N word with "ga" on the end. This little girl said "ger" on the end.

I decided enough was enough with this child and felt she could accuse me of just about anything. So, I text mom and ask her to call me so we could discuss what happened this morning. She just text back what do you want. So, I told her that I decided to make today the child's last day. I felt the child telling stories could get me in trouble.

Mom was angry and I can see why but I feel she is a danger to my daycare. She could accuse me of abuse, neglect or really anything. She lies so much and so bad and it does seem believable. I never had any issues in the daycare before her. I have kids using "getto" words being barely 2 becasue she walks around saying these words. She smacks adults in the face, she kicks adults, she will tear my daycaare room apart with mom standing here and mom never says anything. When i try to get her to leave the infant alone or leave my laptop alone she tells me to shut up and she can do what she wants. The other kids started following her lead.

But, I feel really bad now and wonder if I did the right thing. Mom came and picked the child up right then and was nasty to me. I felt bad and told her i was sorry and tried to explain that I loved her child but it made me uncomfortable her being in the daycare over her story telling. I said she could accuse me or my husband of something really bad and I could get in trouble over lies. My contract plainy states I can dismiss for any or no reason at any time with or without a notice if I deamed the child or parent presented a danger to the daycare. I feel she is a dangerous to my daycare.

Did I do the right thing by dismissing?

[sahm1225]

I would give your licensing rep a heads up.

And yes you did the right thing. I would've termed based on the talking back that she did.

[MunchkinWrangler]

Absolutely, I would never let a child disrespect me in my home. I would never let a mother disrespect me in my home. I wouldn't stand for any of that behavior and would term because I don't want anything to do with it and it's not my job to try to undo what's already been done, so to speak. This child is already set in her ways and will be a bad influence on the rest of the daycare children. I would have a talk with your licensor because I'm sure this one will, unfortunately, give you a problem.

[MunchkinWrangler]

And no matter what, just because you are in a service industry does not give anyone the right to treat you badly in your home. I would have told her to get out and would have never apologized for my decision. Sounds like she isn't apologizing to you which she should. The child clearly has learned this behavior and I'm sure the mother is to blame. If mom doesn't have respect for authority neither will the child.

[Thriftylady]

You did what you had to do to protect your business. I would follow up with a written termination explaining exactly why.

[mommiebookworm]

You did the right thing. Good for you for not waiting it out!

[TXhomedaycare]

Absolutely, I would never let a child disrespect me in my home. I would never let a mother disrespect me in my home. I wouldn't stand for any of that behavior and would term because I don't want anything to do with it and it's not my job to try to undo what's already been done, so to speak. This child is already set in her ways and will be a bad influence on the rest of the daycare children. I would have a talk with your licensor because I'm sure this one will, unfortunately, give you a problem.

That was a terrible situation to be in. You made the right decision.

[Unregistered]

How long was this child in your care?

[Mandy]

You did the right thing

Please do not be hard on yourself. You did the right thing terming this child. If she is spreading lies and saying "ghetto" words, the other kids in your care would start looking at her as the role model. I have a little sister and I make sure I am a good role model for her . This applies with your younger ones and your older ones too . They look up to each other

As for the mom being nasty to you, that is her fault and not yours. I always believe we are responsible for our actions and unfortunately for you, she was trying to use displacement on you and she did not want to take responsibility for the actions of her, her daughter, and her "friend"'s daughter. In the end, you need to look at what is best for the other children, which is what you had done here. You saw that the kid's behavior was not improving and sometimes, you have to do what you did. You've tried talking to her and that did not work. I predict that in the end, this kid will be watched by grandma because I highly doubt another place will look after her.

[stephanie]

I am a provider with a small group of children. I accepting this one child in my daycare who is 2 and very smart and well advance with her age and abilities. This child has an amazing ability to tell "stories" on others. The child claims other children, family, and her mom hit her, pull her hair, bit her, push her, burn her, and so on.

This child will rub her eye with the middle finger everytime she gets in trouble, she twirks on the wall during music n movement, she tries to kiss a boy daycare child on the mouth, shes very defiant and will stand in your face with her hands on her hips and tell you NO I dont have to. She refuses to help clean up or follow any daycare rule. This child is as big as a 4 year old and can talk like a 5 year old. Shes can tell you about her weekend with great detail, talk about her dreams, tell you about movies, tell you a detail summary about books, and can even picture read. This child's communication skills and verbal skills are like a 5 year old.
Here lately I have been informing mom of her behavior with the middle finger. The last time she did it I ask her why do you rub your eye like that. She said because my mommy told me to do it. She claims kids hit her that are no where near her.

This morning mom and child came in and child accuses one child of biting another. Both kids were playing together and not fighting or crying. I was looking right at them and did not see anything negative. Her mom YELLED stop telling LIES!

The mom looks at me and said the child told her that I called a boy in the daycare the B word. One we have NO adult words here and two the boy is out of vacation and three hes a BOY!

So I asked the child with mom standing there if she said that. Child yes WELL YOU CALLED ME A N (word). This child who is mixed said the N word!!!! I hit the roof and said that word is NOT allowed here. Mom made an excuse that the lady who picks her up in the afternoon has a teen daughter who says that word.

OK so here is the situation. My husband is black and I am white. THis little girl is mixed with her mom being white and no dad but he is black. The teen who is saying this word is white. I am aware of how black people say the N word with "ga" on the end. This little girl said "ger" on the end.

I decided enough was enough with this child and felt she could accuse me of just about anything. So, I text mom and ask her to call me so we could discuss what happened this morning. She just text back what do you want. So, I told her that I decided to make today the child's last day. I felt the child telling stories could get me in trouble.

Mom was angry and I can see why but I feel she is a danger to my daycare. She could accuse me of abuse, neglect or really anything. She lies so much and so bad and it does seem believable. I never had any issues in the daycare before her. I have kids using "getto" words being barely 2 becasue she walks around saying these words. She smacks adults in the face, she kicks adults, she will tear my daycaare room apart with mom standing here and mom never says anything. When i try to get her to leave the infant alone or leave my laptop alone she tells me to shut up and she can do what she wants. The other kids started following her lead.

But, I feel really bad now and wonder if I did the right thing. Mom came and picked the child up right then and was nasty to me. I felt bad and told her i was sorry and tried to explain that I loved her child but it made me uncomfortable her being in the daycare over her story telling. I said she could accuse me or my husband of something really bad and I could get in trouble over lies. My contract plainy states I can dismiss for any or no reason at any time with or without a notice if I deamed the child or parent presented a danger to the daycare. I feel she is a dangerous to my daycare.

Did I do the right thing by dismissing?

That aggressive behavior bolded above sounds like enough reason to term right there!! You absolutely did the right thing. You have to do what you feel is best for your group. Good for you!