Help!

[Unregistered]

I had a 3.5 year old start with me 3 months ago and I am her very first daycare. She would stay home with mom or dad on rotating schedules, never even left with family.
She's no longer crying at drop off. She is still sitting in the corner or against the wall 70% of the day and if a child gets close to her or if I ask her to do anything she will start to cry which lasts at least 45 minutes each time. If I ask her to help pick up, join us for arts & crafts, take off her shoes or coat exc. Basically anything except eating or nap time.
I feel really bad for her but it's starting to affect the whole group and its getting to the point where the 2 older kids don't want to play with her when she wants to play. My long term 2 year old is telling mom she doesn't want to come in the morning because all the other girl does is cry all day.
Do any of you have suggestions on how to help her? If this doesn't turn around soon I will have to term.

[nannyde]

Is she on a tablet at home?

[Rockgirl]

I had a similar dcg last year. She cried off and on all day for quite awhile. She did eventually settle in, and now she LOVES coming here. We just went about our day normally. I do have an area right outside the playroom where a child can cry if they need to. She gradually spent less and less time there, and more time interacting with the group.

Only you know how much you can handle of it--it does wear on a person after awhile!

[Unregistered]

She does have her own tablet at home. I "fought" with the mom a lot to stop putting it in her backpack. I've never given it to her and she didn't ask for it. I just didn't want it here or the responsibility of it

[NillaWafers]

My 2.5 year old DCG was exactly like that and it did take quite a while for her to settle. She started in August and just now I feel like she is finally settling in. She definitely cried between any activity and would spend like 80% of her time near the door.

I started putting her on our recliner and called it the "crying chair" so she had somewhere safe and comforting to go. It seemed to help her make the transition from crying and doing activities with us. I hope your girl can settle in quickly. Good luck!

[Miss A]

You can try to use a blanket on the floor or a hula hoop and share with DCG that that location is her special area. Also explain to the other DCK's what the meaning of this spot is, and talk about everyone's emotions and feelings.

This spot can have many uses, such as allowing DCG to express to others that she is feeling emotionally volatile, that she does not wish to play with others, or that she does not know how to handle the situation presented to her.

Also try to role play with DCG and the other DCK's. Present them with scenarios that DCG is often experiencing, and have the other children help you to come up with a solution, or to act out how they would respond.

Transitions are hard on children, and often times I have found that if I explain what is coming next throughout the day, or use visual schedules, it helps children to transition easier. When I worked in a center, I used a photo timeline of our day, from arrival to departure. I took photos of the children during our normal routine, and that helped to make it personal to them.

While there is no one clear answer to each child, hopefully you can find the combination of advice that best suits your needs, and the needs of DCG. I understand how it is frustrating when a child doesn't seem like the right fit for your program, and I wish you the best!