Dinner Problem

[momofboys]

We can't always help the times we have to eat dinner & if DC family is here we will eat. We tend to eat dinner early but mostly b/c we have evening activties that require us in most cases to be out the door by 5:15. Now my DC family eaves early (before 4) so it has not been a problem. But last year my DCF was normally here until 5:00 and a few times we did have to eat at 4:30 b/c my sons needed to be to baseball warm-ups & then game by 5:15 (game began at 5:45, warms ups were at 5:15). I don't think it is rude as long as you offer a snack. I know many could say well you could wait until after the game but personally in my opinion I would not want my family eating dinner at 7:15 when bedtime is at 8:00-8:30.

[BentleysBands]

This What I do. I close at 6p. I start dinner at 530-545 . 2 kids are still here. If parent is late which is always I allow my family to go ahead and eat. I don't tho. I don't not serve daycare dinner. We too are a family of 6 . Making more is not an option. If I started feeding them dinner my parent would take that as a freebie kwim...paying more is not an option either as its MY FAMILY time.
I think your dcg is fine if she has had a snack. She isn't in the same room. I would let my family eat and YOU wait and eat after she leaves?
We use to early to but with time I Just pushed dinner up until I closed.

[legomom922]

I am in the "no it's not rude to eat dinner camp" This girl can eat dinner with her family at her dinner time. You should not have to alter your families schedule just because of DCK's. Give her a snack to hold her over, but it is not your responsibility to feed her dinner. Dinner is family time.

Nobody is really "starving". they will be fine. If they didnt have food for a week, then they would be starving! I dont have a problem with kids feeling hungry. In fact i think its good for them, and then they appreciate food much more.

[Unregistered]

There is nothing wrong with having dinner while daycare is still there its YOUR house and YOUR family and YOUR rountine. Tell daycare girl her Mother will feed her when she goes home. We have dinner between 4:30-5:00 every night and daycare doesnt leave till 5:30 my kids sit in the dinning room and eat and the daycare kids stay in the living room I dont eat till 5:30 thou till after the dc kids are gone but if MY kids are hungry for there dinner Im gonna feed them at the times they are use to eating.

[countrymom]

This What I do. I close at 6p. I start dinner at 530-545 . 2 kids are still here. If parent is late which is always I allow my family to go ahead and eat. I don't tho. I don't not serve daycare dinner. We too are a family of 6 . Making more is not an option. If I started feeding them dinner my parent would take that as a freebie kwim...paying more is not an option either as its MY FAMILY time.
I think your dcg is fine if she has had a snack. She isn't in the same room. I would let my family eat and YOU wait and eat after she leaves?
We use to early to but with time I Just pushed dinner up until I closed.

this is it, I offer it if I have extra food but I have 4 older kids of my own and feeding 2 more kids is not in my food budget at all. I made the mistake of feeding her some meals and now I think they expect me to feed them all the time, and paying more is not an option. Also (I don't know where mom is she is mia so dad is bringing them) but they too have 4 kids too and they know how expensive feeding kids are. I also eat after the kids have left, so I'm not eating with my family and I refuse to feed to them after an activity (you should hear the kids who have to eat after activities)
nannyde, there is something going on that I can't put my finger on either. This child should not be that hungery, but yesterdays episode of her eating everyone elses snack was redicioulous. But it boils down to, that if I start feeding her meals than I have to charge extra (they pay 5 dollars for her) and in canada there is no such thing as a food program. I find that I'm already doing alot for this family--as this child seems to always forget her outside clothes so I'm giving her my kids stuff, I also don't want to give them up because I only have them for 6 months. But if I start feeding supper along with with my other 2 meals and snacks, where is it going to stop. On monday I'm going to look in her lunch pail and see what she has--today is a pa day and I don't have her.

[dEHmom]

I agree with you countrymom.

I do understand the "it's not fair to eat in front of her" bit that's going on.
But if the parents refuse to send her supper OR give you extra money then that's their choice. They want to eat supper with their kids I'm sure. Just like you'd like to sit and eat with your family.

I thought about it, and should I have other children at my supper table, it would cause a lot more issues, and I wouldn't be able to enjoy my dinner with my family. And if I'm the one having to chauffeur all my kids to their activities, i find sometimes I am shoving the food in my face as I am running out the door, and that's not fair to me either.

[nannyde]

I think they expect me to feed them all the time, and paying more is not an option.

(they pay 5 dollars for her

Okay now it makes sense.

So you are transporting her, feeding her an afternoon snack, and caring for her for as much as 1.25 hours a day? Is that correct? You don't have her in the morning?

[countrymom]

I have her for an hour in the morning and hour and half in the afternoon. So I charge 5 dollars an hour for b and a, so they are paying me 10 dollars a day, but thats what the rate at the schools are except they don't feed the kids and don't drop and pick up kids. My contract states that they will get an afternoon snack when they come home from school.

[SandeeAR]

I know legally, the schools can't talk to you and give you info on her school day. But nothing stops them from listening to your concerns, so they can follow up at school. Why not contact her school and tell them how she is always starving at your place. Tell them about eating everyone else snack etc. Let them know you are concerned and know they have more sources to look into the situation, than you do.

It could be with a single parent, that she qualifies for the school food program and maybe isn't on it. It maybe simply that she is picky and not eating anything at lunch. It maybe, if she takes her lunch, that not much is being put into it. I could be that dcd's pride won't let him apply for any assistance, but therefore hurting his daughter. JMHO

[nannyde]

I have her for an hour in the morning and hour and half in the afternoon. So I charge 5 dollars an hour for b and a, so they are paying me 10 dollars a day, but thats what the rate at the schools are except they don't feed the kids and don't drop and pick up kids. My contract states that they will get an afternoon snack when they come home from school.

So if she is there a total of 2.5 hours a day that would be $12.50 a day at five dollars an hour.

You are really making four dollars an hour and doing a lot of work for that. Transporting her to and from school and having her 12.5 hours a week.

It's to the dollar but that's the point. The extra 2.50 a day would cover a decent meal for her after school if it was given instead of the snack.

Here's the problem: When you are doing a lot for a little it never works out. There's always resentment no matter how you slice it. If you are taking her for cheap and providing care and transportation to protect the salary of the younger sibling then you will always feel that anything other than her being really really super easy and next to no work... is going to be a problem.

There's a reason why the school has JUST their care and supervision at five dollars an hour. That money JUST covers care. It doesn't cover food and transport.

It's time to put this onto Dad and have him solve it. He needs to deal with his child's needs. I would tell him that she is claiming that she is starving after your agreed upon snack and that your kids are too. You understand she needs to eat again because you see this in your own children. You can feed her a meal at 4:30 for X dollars per day. Would he like you to do that?

If he says he does not want you to do it then you need to talk to her IN FRONT OF HIM and tell her that Daddy said "No supper here". When she brings up the food you need to tell her again that her Daddy said NO and then bring it up with him every time she brings it up with you.

He will most likely tell her to stop it or ask you to give her a bigger snack. If he asks for a bigger snack say "that will be an extra X dollars per day". Do you want me to do that? He sees you every day so he CAN bring her more snack food too.

Whatever it is... the solution needs to come from her parent. He pays, provides food that doesn't require extra labor for you, or HE tells her no.

[jen]

I must be in the minority here, because I never serve dinner when I am working.

If my kids have activities, I make sure that they have something to eat, but I honestly can't imagine sitting down to dinner. I think my daycare families would be upset by that.

[Crystal]

When issues like this arise (though dinner hasn't as I wait until the kids are gone before my family dinner) I try to look at it as if it were my own child in care. How would I feel about MY child not being served a meal while the providers children are? Personally, I'd be quite angry. There is no reason why you HAVE to feed your children before you dck goes home. If they are THAT hungry, then she probably is too.

One thing to consider as well, by the time she gets home, and a meal is served, it is probably quite late and she really is starving. Perhaps she has made that connection and wants to eat with you because she knows she is going to have to wait another two hours to eat.

It wouldn't matter to me if they paid more or not. If I am going to serve my family food, any dck still here will get it too.

[momofboys]

I know some of you say you would just feed the child, simple as that. And that is understandable. However, if you don't have lots of clients & aren't paid much for the ones you do it would literally break the bank to have to feed 2-3 extra kids dinner or in all actuality I would barely be making any money if I had to feed them dinner too. Not to make this about $$$ but I notice that the ones who say they would feed them more than likely have numerous families & not just 1 or 2. Certainly if I had 4-5 families that I was providing care for then yes it would not be a big deal for me to have dinner for 2-3 extra kids because I would more than likely be bringing in a bigger income. But I don't. And yes, in most cases a family could wait until the DCF leaves but IMO why should they? I don't want to make my kids wait to eat dinner until after 7:00. Every family has different activites in the evenings that sometimes makes it necessary to eat earlier than normal. I won't make my family eat secretively in order to not offend the DCF. It just seems silly to me.

[dEHmom]

sorry but what does IMO mean? And KWIM?

For us, my kids would have to eat at 430 in order to not go to dance/swimming on a full tummy and end up with cramps etc. I book all their activities as late as I can (6pm-6:30 pm) but for 4 and 6 yr olds that's late considering they go to bed at 7:30pm. Should I have to feed them at 7 or 730 that's pushing back their bathtime, bedtime and throwing off a routine/schedule they have had all their life.

If the parents don't agree to you feeding them supper and paying a little extra if need be for that, (I mean really an extra dollar a day would be enough, its not like a little girl will eat a whole steak to herself or anything), then the schedule needs to adjust so your family does have time to eat dinner. Advise the parents if the child must be picked up by this time, in order to allow for your family to eat dinner and move ahead with activities. Daycare takes up approx 12 hours of your day, regardless if that child is just 1 hr after school or not, you have maybe 4 or 5 hours in the evening with your family. They have to understand.

My daycare hours are until 6 pm. Most of my families have picked up by 4:30 or 5:30, but the latest I will go is 6pm. My children go to bed at 7:30. That gives me 1 1/2 to 2 hrs with my family alone? I go to bed usually around 8:30 9pm, watch news, and then go to sleep by 10pm ish.

[SilverSabre25]

Baybee, IMO is "In My Opinion" and KWIM is "Know What I Mean". Similarly, IME is "In My Experience" and IYKWIM is "If You Know What I Mean."