Should I tell????

[Unregistered Provider]

My friend is planing on sending her boys to a provider that was reported for operating illegally. My friend does not know that the DCP was reported or the real reason why the provider delayed her to start date. I found out because the provider vented on a FB DC site. I have verified that it is the same DCP. The things that the provider vented about are both minor and major violations to me. (minor things like having a cat in the kitchen during meals to major things being over her limit /ratio) Like 5-6 violations.
I am torn on telling her, I want to protect her sweet little boys. But I do not want to violate the provider vent thread. If I don't tell her and the day care gets closed down, then she is out a day care.
If I tell her, how much should I tell her?
What to do....
If this was you would you want to know??? Would you say something???

[Josiegirl]

If it were me, I'd probably tell her. If anything happened I'd feel terribly guilty. But that's just me.
You could always suggest she check the dcp out really carefully. If she asks for more info tell her. I know I'd want to be warned if I was the dcm.

[Thriftylady]

I guess I would probably just tell her to be sure to check out any provider carefully and direct her to the site or phone number where she can check licensing and such. It may be that the provider has fixed the issues. Also, if you tell her and it is something that isn't the real story, you could be sued. If you just warn her to check out the provider carefully, like a parent should any provider as long as she does it, hopefully things will go well.

[Blackcat31]

My friend is planing on sending her boys to a provider that was reported for operating illegally. My friend does not know that the DCP was reported or the real reason why the provider delayed her to start date. I found out because the provider vented on a FB DC site. I have verified that it is the same DCP. The things that the provider vented about are both minor and major violations to me. (minor things like having a cat in the kitchen during meals to major things being over her limit /ratio) Like 5-6 violations.
I am torn on telling her, I want to protect her sweet little boys. But I do not want to violate the provider vent thread. If I don't tell her and the day care gets closed down, then she is out a day care.
If I tell her, how much should I tell her?
What to do....
If this was you would you want to know??? Would you say something???

I would NOT tell her.

What I would do though is coach her on how to properly vet out the bad providers from the good ones. I would ask her about how she went about deciding this particular provider was the one she wanted to sign on with. Etc.

Share with her suggested questions etc to ask when searching for care.

As a parent, if she didn't think to ask about violations, back ground checks or references it kind of makes me think those things may not be important to her.

Is this the first time your friend has used child care?
Are you a provider?

[Unregistered Provider]

I would NOT tell her.

What I would do though is coach her on how to properly vet out the bad providers from the good ones. I would ask her about how she went about deciding this particular provider was the one she wanted to sign on with. Etc.

Share with her suggested questions etc to ask when searching for care.

As a parent, if she didn't think to ask about violations, back ground checks or references it kind of makes me think those things may not be important to her.

Is this the first time your friend has used child care?
Are you a provider?

My Friend has used DC before. She is normal really good about checking all that information out. She works for the state and has access to all that info when she is at work. However she just had a baby and has no internet at home.

Yes, I am a provider. I read this provider's post on a provider only group on FB. She wrote that she was upset that she got "caught", how she lied to and covered her butt so she did not get in trouble.

My friend would not be allowed on because of her line of work.
I do have some screen shots of the conversation.

[Blackcat31]

I would just advise her to do her homework.

I'd stay out of the rest.

[Play Care]

If I was supposedly good friends with someone I would say "Sue, that day care doesn't seem to have the best reputation. I've heard there are complaints" or whatever, because this is how friends talk to each other.

But then it comes down to - how good of friends with this person are you? Because with close friends, I don't censor myself. With acquaintances I would be more guarded.

[midaycare]

Any citations should be available for her to look up with the state. Tell her you would be happy to look the daycare up for her and print off the results of the state visits. Then just give her the info.

[laundrymom]

I would totally tell her. If she's my friend I would say, hey, just so you know, she said this x,y,z.... On the forum I read.
I have absolutely no loyalty to the other provider. In my circle I would absolutely tell my friends. I do not see it as wrong. I see it the same as if the friend was going to use a contractor I knew had questionable practices or a restaurant that has less than stellar food. I don't see how telling a friend information like this would be in any way wrong.

[Play Care]

I would totally tell her. If she's my friend I would say, hey, just so you know, she said this x,y,z.... On the forum I read.
I have absolutely no loyalty to the other provider. In my circle I would absolutely tell my friends. I do not see it as wrong. I see it the same as if the friend was going to use a contractor I knew had questionable practices or a restaurant that has less than stellar food. I don't see how telling a friend information like this would be in any way wrong.

Exactly. This is supposedly two friends talking together. When I went to a new mani/pedi place and brought more than jut a new pedi home, you bet your batooty I told my close friends to avoid the "Fungal Palace"

But again, it all comes down to how truly close a relationship this is, my guess is it's more of an aquaintance than a close friendship, because if it was a close friendship this wouldn't even be a question.

[Ariana]

Absolutely without a doubt I would tell her. I have no loyalty to a random provider venting on a forum. What I do have loyalty to is the state of children in my town and especially my friends kids.

She is committing a crime. That's more than enough for me.

[Blackcat31]

If I was supposedly good friends with someone I would say "Sue, that day care doesn't seem to have the best reputation. I've heard there are complaints" or whatever, because this is how friends talk to each other.

But then it comes down to - how good of friends with this person are you? Because with close friends, I don't censor myself. With acquaintances I would be more guarded.

That is what made me answer the way I did.

I feel like there is more to this than what OP is saying.

If she is friends with this person (close friends) I don't think she would even be wondering if she should tell or not....but it almost sounds like it's about something else...or maybe it's about the other provider...

Who knows but something about the post is "off"...

[Thriftylady]

That is what made me answer the way I did.

I feel like there is more to this than what OP is saying.

If she is friends with this person (close friends) I don't think she would even be wondering if she should tell or not....but it almost sounds like it's about something else...or maybe it's about the other provider...

Who knows but something about the post is "off"...

That's what I was thinking. If they were good friends it would have already been said. Call me cynical, but often times posts like this make me wonder what the real story is. If I feel like it isn't my business enough to just say something, then it isn't my business.

[Unregistered]

Here in Oregon we have a website to look at violations. Do you have that in your state?

[Unregistered Provider]

Exactly. This is supposedly two friends talking together. When I went to a new mani/pedi place and brought more than jut a new pedi home, you bet your batooty I told my close friends to avoid the "Fungal Palace"

But again, it all comes down to how truly close a relationship this is, my guess is it's more of an aquaintance than a close friendship, because if it was a close friendship this wouldn't even be a question.

You got me, my friend is more of an acquaintance. It is her son that I know through church as he is in my Sunday school class and my child looks forward to seeing him.

I try to be vague, as to not leave to much info on the web. I not at all trying to trick anyone. Just trying to word my post, with out posting all the details.

I am leaning towards waiting to see if the provider post an update. If the risk goes up or the provider does not come clean and correct her violations, then say something. Yes some of her violations put the child at risk, which is something that I can not stand.

Thank you for all your replies. You helped me.