How Do You Get Babies to Talk?

[permanentvacation]

I've always worked with my kids. I do much more than any of the so called preschools/daycare centers do that I have worked in and more than most of the home daycare providers that I know. But for the babies who don't want to talk, I haven't found a way to 'make' them talk. Now we are required to evaluate the kids and if they don't 'make the grade', we are supposed to suggest that they go to a special program. I don't believe there's anything wrong with this particular child. She just doesn't have the desire to say much. She can speak. She's 16 months old. She makes baby mumbling nonsense words all day long. She says 'momma', dadda', and 'bye' all the time. But you literally have to force her to say other words. Yesterday, it took me quite some time to get her to say the word, 'diaper'. But she could say it. She just didn't care to. So, if you have a child who can speak, but simply doesn't want to, how do you get them to talk more?

Typically, I tell parents that when the child is ready, they'll start saying all kinds of words. And each child that I've said that about, one day, just starts talking away saying every word under the sun! But now that we are required to evaluate the children and suggest the special needs speech therapist to parents if their child doesn't score high enough, all it's doing is upsetting all of the parents! I had decided simply not to suggest the special needs program. But now I'm finding out from the parents that the pediatricians are required to administer the same evaluation on the children at each doctor visit. And of course the doctors ARE telling the parents that their children are 'behind' and need to go to the special needs therapist. Then the parents (even if I haven't evaluated the child yet therefore I haven't neglected to suggest the therapist) come to me all upset about the doctor telling them that their child is 'slow'. My one mother told me that she took her child to the doctor's this past Friday and was diagnosed as 'slow' and she has been upset about it and can't really sleep since then! She told me and she said that she told her daughter's doctor that her older child didn't say much until she was about 2 1/2 and then all of the sudden, she started saying all sorts of words. The child is 8 years old now and has never had any learning disabilities or anything. She's a perfectly normal kid. She just didn't feel like talking until she was 2 1/2. Now because of this evaluation the doctor did (that we are also supposed to do), the mother is upset, concerned, confused, and mad (at the evaluation) regarding her baby.

So, I was hoping to get the baby to start saying words so that at her next doctor appointment, the evaluation would go better. But I don't know how to 'make' a baby (16 month old) speak when they don't want to. I know she CAN say words, she just doesn't WANT to say them.

I do activities with her (all the kids). I play games with them, I do circle time, sing, dance, sing the alphabet, discuss the colors of the toys, grass, outdoor equipment, everything, I talk to them throughout the day, hold each child individually and talk with them personally about their day, count their fingers, talk about their eyes, nose, etc. I discuss the steps of changing their diaper with them. I read books to them and discuss the books. We color and paint and I discuss the colors and what they are coloring or painting. I talk to them a lot throughout the day, but this baby and many others that I have had at her age simply don't want to talk. I've never been worried about it until now since the doctors are telling parents that their babies are 'behind' and 'slow' simply because they won't say the required amount of words.

I show her items, get excited about them, and repeat the name of it over and over again. I get the other kids to repeat the name of it. I say things like, "What's that? Is that a ball? Get the ball. Yeah! You got the ball, say 'ball'". She just won't say the words. Any ideas on how to get her and other babies that I might get in the future that are like this to talk?

[Ariana]

You are already doing everything you need to do. Talking talking and more talking!

I have a nearly 2 year old that is doing a lot less than this and I have personally not seen any kids in my care that have talked at 2 besides my own children. At 18 months I took my daughter to a speech pathologist just to be sure as she was not saying anything. She told me that my child was developing normally and to just keep talking and eventually she will get there. By 20 months she had about 50 words and by 2 she was talking in full sentences.

In my opinion unless you are seeing major delays in other areas she sounds pretty normal to me. I don't know why a DR would ever say she is behind or a standardized test would say this either :confused:

[permanentvacation]

Thank you and I completely agree with you, Ariana. These evaluations, in my opinion, are just going to upset many parents and children that are old enough to understand what's being said regarding them. Kids develop at their own pace. How they think they are evaluating children properly at this young of an age, I just don't understand.

I just talked to my sister about this. She said to give the child M & M's to get her to talk. She also completely agrees with me that nothing seems wrong with this child, just that she doesn't care to speak. My sister said also that since we automatically fulfill their needs and pretty much all of their wants, the children have no need to communicate with us in the first place. They just sit there and before they even cry or have to request to eat, we decide they're hungry and approach them with food and feed them. We also automatically provide them their drinks, hand them toys or remove them from their swing/high chair and direct them to the toys. They don't ever have to tell us that they are hungry - we don't wait for them to do so. They don't have to tell us they are bored and want to play, we hand them toys or send them off playing without them needing to ask. They don't have to tell us that they've messed themselves. They know that we will change their diaper soon enough without them letting us know we need to do so.

She said that the only time kids usually start talking much is after they are 2 or so years old and have learned that they have choices and an opinion of their own that they can verbalize. She gave the example of her grandchild not saying much at all when he was young because everyone just gave things to him; food, drink; toys, changed his diaper, etc. automatically. But she said that when he got to be a little over 2 years old and some of the kids were getting chicken nuggets and some were getting hamburgers, he realized that he could verbalize his personal preference and receive the food that he actually desired rather than simply have to eat what someone else chose for him and out of the blue said a complete sentence saying, "I want burger."

My sister has a valid point! Unless we make them really wait until they request that their needs or wants be met or they get old enough to express their personal preference, they have no need to communicate with us at all!

[Unregistered]

Have you ever tried baby signs? My son was asking for "milk" and "more" and telling me "all done" etc at a very young baby age. I don't remember the months, but I liked teaching him so he could communicate even before he could talk. Then the signs can help make a very helpful segue into speech.

[Kelly]

I would never try to "make" a child talk or bribe her with M & M's to get her to talk. You are setting yourself up for lots of power struggles and frustration both for her and yourself.

[permanentvacation]

I just sat there with flash cards and got the baby to say 10 words. It was like pulling teeth because she really doesn't CARE to speak, but she definitely CAN speak just fine. It just takes A LOT of patients on the adult's part. And you have to sit there repeating the word over and over and OVER until she decides she will say it.

I think my sister has a point. The child simply does not NEED to say anything. She is capable of saying the words, but she knows that she doesn't HAVE to say anything and she still has all of her needs and wants met.

I'm going to show my list of words that she said today to her mother and tell her what I believe is going on (that she CAN talk, she just knows she doesn't HAVE to talk) so the mother stops being so upset. Her child is just fine!

[Sunchimes]

I just went back through the notes from our speech sessions. An average number of words at that age is 7. But note the word "average". It was in heavy, underlined quotes in my notes. Seven is just an average. Nothing is black and white in development. I know you know this, but doctors seem to forget.

I second baby signs. I have used signs along with the words from the beginning. They pick up the signs long before they say the words, but since my signs always have words, before you know it, they are also using both. My 17 mo dcb has 11 words that he uses clearly. At least half of those started as signs.

[permanentvacation]

I just talked with the baby's mother when she picked her up. She said that as she hands the baby something, she will say, 'Do you want a drink?" or "Do you want the baby?" But she said she only says that sentence one time as she's handing the item to her baby. I told her that's why the child won't talk. The mother is not even trying to get the child to say the names of things. I told her to start asking her if she wants something and then repeat the name of the item a few times while telling her daughter to say the name of the item. I told her that she's not requesting anything or verbalizing for herself because she doesn't have to.

She did say that she will say a couple of words at home. But not many.

Between the words that I got her to say today and the words such as Grandmom, sissy, her sister's name, etc. that she says at home, we came up with 21 words that she can say. It's just that she almost NEVER says them because she knows she doesn't have to. So I told the mother that she should stop automatically giving things to her and offer the item to her, but repeat the name of the item a few times and try to get her to say the name of the item instead of just handing everything to her.

[TXhomedaycare]

Have you ever tried baby signs? My son was asking for "milk" and "more" and telling me "all done" etc at a very young baby age. I don't remember the months, but I liked teaching him so he could communicate even before he could talk. Then the signs can help make a very helpful segue into speech.

I was just going to post a question about this. I have a 27 month old that was taught sign but he chooses not to talk. He has been hear 3 months but he does not talk and when he does I cannot understand 90% of what he says. During learning g ti e when he does repeat me or participate he noises sounder as if he is hearing impaired. I was wondering if learning sign language has cause a delay in his speech or at least cause him to not feel the need to talk. He does not seem delayed in any other area. My 18 month old talks more than he does.

[nannyde]

I've had loads of kids who didn't talk until twoish and thereafter wouldn't shut up ;-)

I've had one talking in paragraphs at 16 months.

I can't believe they have you involved in this. Are you saying it is required by law?

This has NOTHING TO DO WITH DAYCARE. Can the child function well in care without talking now? If so... why are you involved? This is a family matter. Let mom deal with the doctors and whatever they suggest as long as the therapy is not at daycare.

[daycare]

you don't get kids to do anything, they decide when. we can only offer them plenty of opportunities.

talk to them, ask them questions even though you know they won't answer.

sing to them
read to them

all day every day, do these 3....before you know it, you will wish they were back to not talking... partly joking.

[SilverSabre25]

Okay, I admit I skimmed your OP, but I gotta say...since you keep saying that you KNOW she can say the words, why do you need to "evaluate" her again and make her? Can't you just...mark that she can, because you know she can?

How often are you supposed to be conducting these evals? Can you just know that one is coming up and several days or weeks beforehand start a running tally on a clipboard, watching for words and other things to happen naturally and authentically during her days?

And anyway I don't think that most people who work at dacyare centers are even qualified to do that sort of evaluation...IMO they're asking you to step outside your boundaries (general you, not specific).

[Annalee]

If I read correctly, the post is dealing with a 16 month old.

While I have resources available in my parent info area regarding intervention/evaluation if needed, I have been taught through early childhood classes and different therapist (speech, occupational, etc) that there is a guideline but it is possible to sway 6 months forward or 6 months backward with any given child when determining where a child should be in different areas of growth. So, all kids can not be judged by the same model.

I would document and offer resources if needed but I would then back off. If parents ask me what I think, I reply first with how I can't make a diagnosis but here is a resource where you can get answers. I might answer direct questions from the parents but would deal only with what I know to be fact that I have seen from the child but reiterate I can't make a diagnosis. I would not speculate at all.

I find this to be very common today since there is such a push to succeed in academics. Every one feels pressure for their children to learn. But, not sure I would be alarmed at a 16 month old that doesn't say enough words????

[permanentvacation]

Actually, I am not required to conduct the evaluation yet. But beginning in either June or July of this coming year, yes, all licensed daycare providers ( I don't know about the centers ) will be REQUIRED to conduct these evaluations on every child from age 2 months up to 6 years old. I have already chosen the evaluation program I want and have read the instructions and familiarized myself with the program. I have told my parents about it and am waiting for the new year to actually evaluate the kids.

When I add up the child's score, if they score too low, I am supposed to suggest that the child be taken to 'Infants and Toddlers' which is a program for children who have learning disabilities. Now, if a child scored lower than average, instead of suggesting that program immediately, I was planning to suggest that we, the parents and I, make a point to work on whatever area the child scored lower on for a while and see how the child progresses. If after a month or so the child does not progress and I really feel the child has a learning disability, THEN I will suggest Infants and Toddlers to the parents.

But apparently the pediatricians are already required to conduct these evaluations and at least 2 of my parents have come to daycare after a doctor's evaluation and were unbelievably upset because the doctor (different kids from different families and with different doctors) told them that the evaluation shows that their child is slow and that they need to take their child to Infants and Toddlers.

With both of those parents, I immediately told them that their child is just fine and that children, just like adults, learn at their own pace. I did and said everything I could think of to calm the parents down about their pediatrician basically telling them that their child has learning disabilities. But since this one mom is so upset, I wanted to try to SHOW her that her child is just fine by getting the child to do the things the evaluation said she couldn't do. I was sure the child was able to say some more words, but just didn't feel the need to. So I worked hard today on getting the little girl to say a variety of words and made a list of the words for the mother to show her that her child is just fine. After the mom and I talked tonight and she read the list of words and then told me some other words she can say such as Grand mom, sissy, and her sister's name. We counted that in the short time I used a handful of flash cards, we found 21 words that she can say. So I told her not to worry about what her doctor said regarding the evaluation score. The mother felt much better after we got done talking.

I just feel so bad for these parents that these doctors are telling that their children are learning disabled from these stupid evaluations! Personally, I'm starting to think that the government funded Infants and Toddlers program simply needs more funding and in order to get more funding, they need more clients so they are trying to get everyone who works with kids to do a quick evaluation and start just tossing more kids into the program. But when I took my time with the little girl, I found that she can say plenty of words. She is actually ABOVE average for her age according to the grading scale. But the doctor didn't sit there for 1/2 hour showing her pictures or flash cards and repeating words to her to try to get her to speak to do a true evaluation. No. The mother said that the doctor asked her what words she can say. She told him about 5 words so the doctor marked that the child doesn't speak enough and gave her a low grade which resulted in her being diagnosed as learning disabled.

In my opinion, this whole evaluation requirement is a bunch of bull**it!

[spedmommy4]

Actually, I am not required to conduct the evaluation yet. But beginning in either June or July of this coming year, yes, all licensed daycare providers ( I don't know about the centers ) will be REQUIRED to conduct these evaluations on every child from age 2 months up to 6 years old. I have already chosen the evaluation program I want and have read the instructions and familiarized myself with the program. I have told my parents about it and am waiting for the new year to actually evaluate the kids.

When I add up the child's score, if they score too low, I am supposed to suggest that the child be taken to 'Infants and Toddlers' which is a program for children who have learning disabilities. Now, if a child scored lower than average, instead of suggesting that program immediately, I was planning to suggest that we, the parents and I, make a point to work on whatever area the child scored lower on for a while and see how the child progresses. If after a month or so the child does not progress and I really feel the child has a learning disability, THEN I will suggest Infants and Toddlers to the parents.

But apparently the pediatricians are already required to conduct these evaluations and at least 2 of my parents have come to daycare after a doctor's evaluation and were unbelievably upset because the doctor (different kids from different families and with different doctors) told them that the evaluation shows that their child is slow and that they need to take their child to Infants and Toddlers.

With both of those parents, I immediately told them that their child is just fine and that children, just like adults, learn at their own pace. I did and said everything I could think of to calm the parents down about their pediatrician basically telling them that their child has learning disabilities. But since this one mom is so upset, I wanted to try to SHOW her that her child is just fine by getting the child to do the things the evaluation said she couldn't do. I was sure the child was able to say some more words, but just didn't feel the need to. So I worked hard today on getting the little girl to say a variety of words and made a list of the words for the mother to show her that her child is just fine. After the mom and I talked tonight and she read the list of words and then told me some other words she can say such as Grand mom, sissy, and her sister's name. We counted that in the short time I used a handful of flash cards, we found 21 words that she can say. So I told her not to worry about what her doctor said regarding the evaluation score. The mother felt much better after we got done talking.

I just feel so bad for these parents that these doctors are telling that their children are learning disabled from these stupid evaluations! Personally, I'm starting to think that the government funded Infants and Toddlers program simply needs more funding and in order to get more funding, they need more clients so they are trying to get everyone who works with kids to do a quick evaluation and start just tossing more kids into the program. But when I took my time with the little girl, I found that she can say plenty of words. She is actually ABOVE average for her age according to the grading scale. But the doctor didn't sit there for 1/2 hour showing her pictures or flash cards and repeating words to her to try to get her to speak to do a true evaluation. No. The mother said that the doctor asked her what words she can say. She told him about 5 words so the doctor marked that the child doesn't speak enough and gave her a low grade which resulted in her being diagnosed as learning disabled.

In my opinion, this whole evaluation requirement is a bunch of bull**it!

Holy smokes! I totally support early intervention but it sounds like maybe they are using screening tools to alarm parents unnecessarily.

The ASQ or the DIAL? Something like that would be common. In most states, only special educators would do the full assessments.

In any case, the best thing you can do to support the little ones development is play. 😀

Here is a good article with tips for you:

http://families.naeyc.org/learning-and-development/reading-writing/12-ways-support-language-development-infants-and-toddlers