4 Yr Old Not Napping, What Do You Do? Long, Sorry

[ammama]

I have a dcg who turned 4 in December. She has never been a good napper (or sleeper at home say her parents), but lies down with a book for naptime. I usually let her get up and play quietly in the other room after an hour. She falls asleep once in awhile. Her parents understand my nap policy (everyone must lie down for an hour) and why I have it, but tell me regularly how she really hates quiet time, and being forced to lie down. Her parents have told me that she has started crying in the mornings before they leave the house because she hates quiet time so much. Admittedly, this girl cries for her parents whenever she wants anything, (not for me though, she is an angel here), and they really spoil her. They have not asked me to stop nap, because I told them is a deal breaker for me, and they really want her here, but I feel terrible about making this girl do something she hates doing. I'm pregnant, and REALLY need that one hour to lie on the couch and rest (not sleep though), and I couldn't do that if she were up playing.

Should I **** it up, and give her an alternate activity? I'm afraid the other kids (who are all 3-4 yrs old too) will want to stay up if she gets to. I'm closing in a few months anyway for my 4-5 month mat leave, but I don't want to lose her in that time as she is my groups 'leader' and really helps to keep everyone occupied and playing creatively.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Thanks!

[kitkat]

She's totally playing her parents. Tell her parents to simply tell her that at your house laying down is the rule. Then tell them to not discuss it with her anymore. Yes, they should actually ignore it! Do NOT let this girl have an alternate activity. This is your policy and you have it for a reason (and an excellent one at that). An hour of quiet rest is not going to hurt anyone. You might have to stand firm with the parents and even tell them that if they don't like it, then they need to find some place else and to not bring it up anymore because you are not going to change your policy. That's ridiculous that they have to keep bringing it up to you even after you have discussed it with them.

Sorry, that sounds really crabby! My preggo hormones are getting the best of me today.

[lvt77]

I had this same issue with a 2yr DCG, but mom is the one who said no more naps... This is how I got my way.....

I told mom look, I am here alone, no helpers. I work from 6am-6pm, when do I get a break? (of course I said it in a nice way) I told her that her daughter is required to lay down and that after 45 minutes if she was still awake that she could lay quielty and read books, however, if she disturbed the other children, (which she always does) Then she would have to pay a no napping fee so that I could pay someone else to come in and watch her so that I could have a break. ( I got this idea from some of the ladies here, fee part that is)
I also told her how it would become a trend and then no one would be napping and that would be a disaster... I had to keep things fair...a policy is a policy.

So together mom and I sat down and talked together to DCG to let her know that sometimes the rules are different at home than they are at school and this was a rule she had to follow.... I did this so that I could somewhat contorl the converstaion. Sometimes DCP don't always favor our rules, so they may not always push them....

Guess what, the child naps every day when here.

[nannyde]

Then she would have to pay a no napping fee so that I could pay someone else to come in and watch her so that I could have a break. ( I got this idea from some of the ladies here, fee part that is)

So together mom and I sat down and talked together to DCG to let her know that sometimes the rules are different at home than they are at school and this was a rule she had to follow.

ugh hugh

See what attaching value to your time does? Value in the MONEY sense of the word.

I never have parents asking me to keep kids up at nap. I have 2 four year old REAL LIFE princesses and they sleep like babies every day. Bellies full, exercised, and some Nan love... and off to sleep they go. EVERY SINGLE DAY. Sleep tight little spud muffins.

Their parents wouldn't DREAM of asking me to keep them up at nap. They are exhausted by noon.

I was thinking the other day of how it was in the late sixties. We only had half day kindy and it was all morning classes. We went to school and came home... ate lunch.. and went to BED FRED. When we were in first grade we went home for lunch... came back to school and laid our heads on the desk and had a quickie nap before the afternoon started.

This was with six and seven year olds.

When I was a kid the idea of not napping at age four would have been met with from everybody. Now we have kids as young as toddlers and even sometimes infants that don't need a nap. Boy times sure change.

[boysx5]

all mine have quiet time my oldest child here is only three I always tell parents I won't force them to nap but we will have quiet time I leave the t.v. on for everyone and they can also look at a book or do a puzzle but they must stay on their nap mats as to not wake up the other children who are napping.

[Live and Learn]

Here it is no books, no tv....nap time.
I have never had a 4 year old NOT nap.
We walk and dance everyday so they are good and tired.....
the 4 year old I have now naps 3 hours each afternoon.....the parent tells me this 4 year old never naps at home....to which I think "what does that have do do with me?"

Naps are sacred....not AT ALL negotiable. Good luck.

[ammama]

This is the same view that I have had for years, with every other kid i've ever had. The parents are not asking me to keep her up, just 'mentioning' to me on a regular basis how she doesn't like the nap part. More passive aggressive. Anyway, I guess I just wanted reassurance that making her lie down for an hour was appropriate, and shouldn't make me feel guilty. Thanks ladies

On more of a venting note, the dad of this family has left my front gate open when he left every day this week. Frustrating because my dog is large and barky, so I have to actually put my shoes on and go and close the damn gate in the freezing cold. I'm going to try to remember to say something to him today.