Lost First Kid Ever

[nikia]

So today dcm calls me about 4 yr old dcg that comes from 12 to 4 after preschool and tells me that her daughter doesnt want to come anymore. There have been problems with this family such as I never know if the girl is coming or not, she comes at naptime and wants to be entertained. The mom has told me to take her to the bathroom with me because she doesnt like to be alone. The parents have forgotten to pick her up from school more than once. Just lots of problems.

So why do I feel like crying? I wasnt close with the child, she was rarely here. I feel like I should have entertained her so she would like it here I guess? I dont know. I did tell mom that it will be naptime when she arrives and its either quiet play for her or watching a movie I told her this before she even started. Please dont flame me, I just feel really bad and needed to get it out. Part of me is happy because she just wasnt a good fit and part of me wants to be a good fit for everyone.

This is a first for me, I have never termed or been termed by anyone.

[daysofelijah]

Sorry it didn't work out, sounds like you will be better off without them. I did that once, taking a non-napping 4yo who arrived during nap time and it was so much hassle. I was glad to let them go even though I liked the family.

[jen]

Why would anyone flame you? I think we all feel that way to some degree. If someone leaves, it feels like a personal rejection and it stings a bit.

You just have to remember that you cannot please every single kid, unless of course you plan on being miserable yourself! Focus on how much better it will be once you don't have to deal with it anymore!

[nikia]

Why would anyone flame you?

I dont know :: maybe because I see it a lot on here, but I am also feeling personally rejected.

Thanks for the encouragment. It does sting a bit

[laundrymom]

No flames,...... Gentle understanding and friendship.

[Little People]

Nikia sorry to hear that, but that would be hard with a child coming in right at nap time. I am sending hugs you way!

[AnythingsPossible]

I dont know :: maybe because I see it a lot on here, but I am also feeling personally rejected.

Thanks for the encouragment. It does sting a bit

I had a family leave me this past fall because they found a daycare that was cheaper. It is very hard to not feel a personal rejection because it is such a personal job. You open your heart and your home to people and to have them leave you feels really crappy. I had issues with the kids that left, but it still hurt. I had had them for 2 years, so I took it extremely personally that she would choose to switch over a smaller payment.
Hope whoever you feel the spot with is an awesome kiddo and wonderful parents!!!

[Lilbutterflie]

We do have a very personal job. We open our hearts and homes, and we spend a lot of time with these children. We invest so much of ourselves into them. Even though you know it's for the best, you can't help but feel personally rejected. I totally understand. Just keep reminding yourself that she was not a good fit, and this gives you the opportunity to find another child who is a much better fit.

[missnikki]

Well, at least that's better than a parent storming off mad and leaving you in a collections battle. The fact that the parent gives in to the child says a lot about them, and casts no shadows on you or your program, trust me- we've all seen those families that cater and adjust because the child is whiny. Not your fault at all. 100% support!

[nikia]

Thank you!!! I am starting to feel better probably because I kept myself busy pretending to be all sorts of animals and singing abc's with the little girls I have here. I'm such a sensitive baby anyway and its tough. Things are looking up though as my husband got an interview with the lineman apprenticeship. Its an amazing job and I am praying he gets it, bad thing is its not till April because they only call up every 3 months. He also go a new job offer today at the same time I lost my client. Good job and he is going to take it until we know if he gets the lineman job so every dark day has good things too.
Thanks again ladies

[lvt77]

awe so sorry....you sound like me...you feel bad because the feeling of loss is never good. Look at it this wasy. now you have a chance to replace that spot with a child that you can get close too. Do you really want a family where the parents let the child make the adult decisions?

Nope.....things will get better!!!

[nannyde]

Shake it off.

She could have just found cheaper or free day care but doesn't want to tell you that.

If he kid gets to decide day care then you can't take it personally. Little children don't have the ability to make big decision like that so when they are given the job of doing it they make poor choices.