Typical Two Year Old Play

[Ariana]

I have my ideas of what 2 year old play "should" look like but want to hear your perspectives to make sure my expectations are not out in left field.

For example:
-Would you expect a two year old to be able to play by themselves for any length of time without adult attention or play with a toy in an appropriate way without direction?

I have a two year old who doesn't play much. She follows me around quite a bit and won't engage with toys at all. She mostly wants to sit on my lap and interact with me. what are your two year olds doing?

[Preschool/daycare teacher]

I have a two year old who also won't really play by herself. She follows me around, and gets into stuff she knows she's not supposed to what time she's not on my heels whining. She seems to require constant entertainment from me instead of just occupying herself with toys. But that just doesn't seem normal to me because any two year old I've had before has played well either alone or with the others.

[childcaremom]

Is she your only one that age?

Generally, my 2s are much more interested in playing with each other and are also happy to play independently.

Having said that, I do have one right now who needs a bit more 'assistance' during free play.

[nannyde]

Heck yeah. By two they should be all toys all the time.

[Ariana]

Thanks all!

She is 2 and my daughter is nearly 3 so ideally they should be sort of playing together I would think. I just don't remember other daycare kids being like this and my own kids were much more independent. my own daughter would play by herself quite a bit at less than 1 yr. I would expect at 2 a much more independent play style or a general interest in toys. I have every toy known to man and she does nothing with any of them. Even the toy animals!

I have taken to pulling my ipad or computer out to actively "ignore" her to see what she will do and she will just hang off my chair trying to get my attention the whole time. OR if I am sitting on the floor pretending to read she will just come and plop onto my lap. Mom is alone with her at night and she spends the morning until noon with dad.

any ideas?

[childcaremom]

To quote Nannyde "Go play toys"

Or hand her a toy to play with if she is hesitant to get going.

Rinse and repeat.

[spedmommy4]

I have one that came to me like this. Right off the bat I noticed she could play (somewhat) independently outdoors but not at all indoors. It helped me to look at what she was able to do with the toys.

At two, the little girl here was pretty much at the dump and fill stage of toy play. (What babies do- dump it out and put it back in). She relied on me to provide the rest of her entertainment, which was exhausting.

I found it helpful to spend a little time modeling how to play with toys that the little girl here was interested in. That may work in your situation too. Sometimes kids who don't have age level play skills seek out adults as entertainment.

You might try modeling those skills that your other kids know how to do like: asking to play, stacking blocks, playing with pretend food.

[Ariana]

I do model play frequently but it just might be a matter of repeating and then "go play". I agree she is in the dump and fill stage for sure and she is also more independent outside.

Thanks for the suggestions

[nannyde]

Is she on a tablet at home?

[spedmommy4]

I do model play frequently but it just might be a matter of repeating and then "go play". I agree she is in the dump and fill stage for sure and she is also more independent outside.

Thanks for the suggestions

You're welcome. I do walk away and give the little one here an opportunity to practice. Sometimes intentionally and sometimes just because I have several other kids that need attention too . . . Throughout the day, especially when things were really frustrating with her, I would alternate between modeling and just providing her with a quick "play idea" and redirecting her to an area with (a little older) kids who could continue modeling for her. At that age, it is way too easy for that (excessive) adult attention seeking behavior to become a big problem.

[midaycare]

Is she on a tablet at home?

*Shudder* I do my interview process with the older kids (older than babies) in the daycare and I make part of the interview watching the child play. If the child can't play, they won't be getting a phone call from me. Tablet and tv kids are not really ... Kids.

[spedmommy4]

*Shudder* I do my interview process with the older kids (older than babies) in the daycare and I make part of the interview watching the child play. If the child can't play, they won't be getting a phone call from me. Tablet and tv kids are not really ... Kids.

I know that electronics have become a huge problem, even with the little ones. But, I worked with parents in the home setting for six years and there are two other common factors that can come into play when a child under three doesn't play like other kids.

The biggest and most common was lack of parent education about child development. Kids don't pick up a toy one day and suddenly develop good play skills on their own. Parents are a child's first play partners, and if the parents aren't engaged play partners for whatever reason, a child's play skills can become delayed.

The second common reason I encountered is that the child was just developing play skills at a slower pace. It could be because of a delay/disorder or just that the child is developing a little slower than his/her peers.

And unfortunately, as you said, there are tiny electronics addicts. . I have seen a parent hand an iPhone to a 10 month old. It's sad and the worst part is, in really young children, it can cause the child's play to look different or delayed.

In an interview, I share my media policy with parents (tv/iPad free) and ask whether it's allowed at home. This gives me a good idea if what I'm seeing the child do during an interview is related to "excessive screen time" or not.

[childcaremom]

Spedmommy, I always like your advice

Just another thought that popped in my head... maybe there is too much choice for her?

I have a ton of toys, too, and my littles were in the dump and fill stage so I cleared out the room. I mean very bare. Empty shelves. Without doing anything else differently, I have seen their play shift. Stacking of blocks, caring for babies, rolling of balls, etc. Gross motor exploration. They will bring things over for identification "ball" "blue" (they are all in the midst of a vocabulary burst) but for the most part are engaged and independent in their play.

I do have one, as I mentioned, who is constantly drawn back to me, I acknowledge (whatever I feel she is looking for: hug, snuggle, etc) and then send her back to play. She is improving but it is s l o w going. She has always been like this, though, and has a VERY shy temperment.

Now, my group is 15 - 18 months in this area, so a bit younger, but sounds on par with play development with your little one. I guess I would just look at it as any other milestone development, where a child is a little behind, and meet her where she's at. Keep moving forward, prompting her and she'll get it.

[Blackcat31]

I've had a couple 2 yr olds like this.
None of mine were screen addicts at all.

The issue mine had was that the parents played e v e r y t h i n g with them.
They literally had no idea how to play without an adult.

The other kids weren't at all interesting because an adult provided ALL interaction, introduction, ideas, etc... so of course I was the only playmate they wanted or knew what to do with.

One of mine viewed the other kids as competition to her so ANY time I played with, gave attention to or spoke to others there would be a meltdown or protest.

The other one I had just treated the other kids like they didn't exist. She'd take a toy from the group and come sit by me or she would just walk past them and beeline to me with everything. She would only acknowledge me or my DH.

Now don't get me wrong, I think quality face time with your child is awesome, beneficial and very important but in some cases and some situations too much is not so helpful for the child.

[spedmommy4]

I've had a couple 2 yr olds like this.
None of mine were screen addicts at all.

The issue mine had was that the parents played e v e r y t h i n g with them.
They literally had no idea how to play without an adult.

The other kids weren't at all interesting because an adult provided ALL interaction, introduction, ideas, etc... so of course I was the only playmate they wanted or knew what to do with.

One of mine viewed the other kids as competition to her so ANY time I played with, gave attention to or spoke to others there would be a meltdown or protest.

The other one I had just treated the other kids like they didn't exist. She'd take a toy from the group and come sit by me or she would just walk past them and beeline to me with everything. She would only acknowledge me or my DH.

Now don't get me wrong, I think quality face time with your child is awesome, beneficial and very important but in some cases and some situations too much is not so helpful for the child.

That's definitely different from what I see here on the west coast. I have had parents look at me look at me like I'm crazy for suggesting they play with their children. :confused:

The last few posts highlight how important it is to have conversations with parents about what is happening at home. Is kiddo getting too much adult interaction? Not enough? Too much screen time? None? It's so much easier to figure out what to do about an issue at childcare if you know what is happening at home.